


It's all about the choice you make

by Sophia22



Category: Arrow - Fandom, olicity - Fandom
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt, Pregnancy, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:15:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 76,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7625320
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sophia22/pseuds/Sophia22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He once told her that he couldn't be with someone he really cared about and then he got together with Sara. But then he asked her out and basically told her he loved her only to push her away the next second and go back to Sara.<br/>What do you do when life throws your way unexpected things? Do you hide or do you take the matter in your hands and make something great out of it?  Well let me tell you that among these roller coaster emotions and experiences, life holds great things for Felicity Smoak.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part one: How did we get here ?

**Author's Note:**

> Hey , Olicity fam ! Have been thinking about this fanfic for a while now and it's finally here. I'm obsessed with Olicity fanfics and this one has Every single thing we love so I hope that you'll enjoy it as much as I do. 
> 
> Keep in mind that English isn't my first language.

<https://twitter.com/victori96572376/status/805163208747216896/photo/1>

 

 

She was a mess. She has never felt like this before. It had been over two weeks since their blown up diner date and things were awful. She  
was just hurt.

Simple as that.

She had a hard time understanding Oliver’s behavior the first couple of days after their “talk” in the hospital hallway, or as she likes to call it “the day I got my heart crushed”. He just shut her out. Even if she did not agree with him and his reasons to not pursue their … whatever they had … she thought that they would manage to be civil around each other and make things work during their night time activities.

But oh boy was she wrong.

He barely looked at her, only acknowledging her with a small nod, tight fake smile and clenched fists.  
So she decided that she was done hoping for him to get his head out of his ass. She was a damn grown smart beautiful independent woman. So what if it hurt? So what if she spends her time daydreaming about what they relationship would have looked like? So what if she always wants to cry every damn time she catches him looking and smiling at Sara? That pain in her heart was now a familiar feeling and she just has to learn how to live with it.

She decided that she would never let him see how much he hurt her. She would count to ten and calm her breathing every time Sara would kiss him on the cheek and be so touchy him, in order to not cry. No, she would never cry in front of him. She only allows herself to cry at home. Her safe haven, the only place where she gets to be hurt and sad and angry.

Damn she has the right to.

 

She was currently sitting at her desk in the foundry updating her babies while Diggle was sited beside her cleaning his guns. Oliver and Sara were sparring on the mats.

“You doing alright?”

Digg asked her his tone and eyes so full of worry and care.  
Thank god for John Diggle, she honestly does not know if she could keep this up without him. They had grown so much closer over the summer. He is the manly figure she never had in her life but always craved, a sort of dad and big brother mixed together and only god knows what she would do for him. He was one of her main strength. She loved him so much.

She managed to smile, even though she knew he saw right through her.

“Yeah yeah everything’s fine. Are we still on for tomorrow?”

“Of course we are. Tomorrow you and I we’re calling ourselves master of house decorating. Although I’ll probably stick to screwdrivers and hammers while you’ll handle the rest”

She laughed at that. A true genuine laugh and man it felt good.

“Yeah Dig no problem as long as your there with me”

He reached for her hand and squeezed it.

“Always”.

Diggle knew what happened between them and that she needed to think about something else. That’s why he instantly agreed to help her redecorate her house cause he saw it as a way to escape thing a bit.

Just as he let go of her hand they heard a loud thud. They turned around and they saw Oliver laying on top of Sara, a disgusting smirk on his face.

“Ok Ollie you win this one. Now move”

Getting even closer to her face he laughed.

“Why Sara? embarrassed? It’s nothing I haven’t seen” and oh so gently he added “or felt”.

Sara grew redder and pushed him of off her.

You know that feeling when you’re trying so bad to keep the tears from falling that your throat hurts? That’s how she is feeling right known. Barely managing to keep herself together but then she felt john’s hand on her shoulders and it was just too much. She knew what she’d find in Dig’s eyes, support but also pity and she could not see it right now.

Just then her phone ringed and pulled everyone out of this weird situation.

“Palmer again? What this guy doesn’t take no for an answer or what?"

She could hear Dig's smile in his voice. Dig really liked that Palmer guy.

“I gotta take it. I’ll see you tomorrow ok?”

She bent down and kissed him on the cheek. She closed her eyes for 2 seconds and calmed herself. Gathering her stuff she turned towards the mats area but not looking at neither Sara nor Oliver.

“Night guys. I’ll see you when I see you”.

She then left and climbed up the stairs while answering her phone. They could hear her soft voice laughing and talking on the phone.

Proud of herself that she was. She managed to make it to her car before breaking down. She just disconnected her phone call with Palmer and turned her cellphone off.

_Why is he doing this to me? He knows he is hurting me, he has to know! So he is just being cruel then? But why? It is not like Him to do that._

_But do I really know him?_

That, is the one million dollars question.

With that question in mind she drove home, crying, not even bothering to hold her loud sobs.

 

......................................................................

When Diggle got to the foundry and he instantly felt the tension. Felicity was avoiding any kind of contact with Oliver, Oliver was trying hard to not throw glances at Felicity every second but miserably failing at it. She was so engrossed in her computer so he just sat there beside her and started cleaning his guns instead of joining Oliver and Sara on the mats. That was his kind of silent support to Felicity.

He really was mad at Oliver and the way he was acting towards Felicity, especially right now. Why was he behaving like this with Sara while Felicity was in the same room? He doesn’t get it and it makes him want to just punch Oliver because he was disrespecting Felicity. Oliver doesn’t want to be with her for whatever stupid reason fine by him but acting like a dick, NO! He won’t stand by and watch him hurt Felicity like this.

So when he noticed Felicity glossy eyes and sad face all he could think about was smashing Oliver’s head in two. She really was heartbroken and he knew that even if she had not admit it to herself yet, she was in love with him.

The second she left, Sara was looking at the floor.

 

_What ashamed now?_

 Oliver was still looking at the stairs as if Felicity would reappear at any second.

Diggle does not even know what to say so he just looks at Oliver knowing that the look in his eyes conveys everything he wants to say.

With a long sigh he followed Felicity’s step and left.

 

......................................................................

He never thought that it was possible to miss someone this much. And that is coming from a guy who spent 5 years in hell. How can you miss someone this much while being in the same room?

But he knows that he only has himself to blame. He screwed up. Big times.  
But how is he supposed to be with her without being with her huh? Every single time he sees her he just wants to grab her and kiss her senseless, to tell her and show her how much he loves her. He remembers every single thing about her. He loves how she smells, he honestly think that he might be addicted to her sent, she smells so fresh, a hint of vanilla and berries; God he wants to burry his head in her neck and hair and just surround himself with her. We wants to play with her hair, hold her hand, whisper in her ear and so many other things. But he cannot do any of those things and he does not know what to do about that. So he just acts like the dick he once was.

He pushed her away. It killed him inside to see how it affected her and he could see how she was trying hard to not let it affect their work. Even if she tried to hide it he knew. He knows her. And it just made him love her even more. How she always puts everybody’s needs before hers that is pure Felicity Smoak.

God he loves that women !

He could feel her presence anywhere. She is that light that guides him, that centers him and makes him want to be a better men. But now, gone were the glances and the touches. He aches for it. He misses it so much. The way she used to steal glances while he was working out, the long appreciating looks, the way her eyes would linger on his bare chest.  
It’s only been two weeks and he honestly doesn’t know how he’ll manage to be like this with her. Two weeks. 14 days of hell.

 

He knew Sara still had feelings for him and that she would in no way be against “reconnecting” with him, lately she has been very touchy and flirty; he saw that as a way to send a message to Felicity and give her some closure. It made him want to vomit, he hated himself for doing it but that’s the only solution he found. She had to hate him in order to move on. So he acted like Ollie, the douche who doesn’t care about anyone but himself.

 

So while he and Sara were sparring, he saw it a great opportunity to tackle his plan and see how she’d react to that. So he did what he did and made sure to speak a bit loud to make sure Felicity would hear him. Then her phone rang and she answered without as much as a glance towards him. He watched while she put her hand on Dig’s neck, bent down and kissed him. He never would have imagined wanting to kill his best friend but he really wanted an arrow right now.  
He desperately wanted her to look at him. Smile that gorgeous smile of hers that makes all his walls crumble.

_Look at me! Please look at me !_

But no, even when she said her goodbyes she looked at a spot behind them never meeting his eyes.  
So he just watched her leave, he watched the bounce of her ponytail, and the sway of her oh so perfect hips while she talked on the phone.

Wait! What? Who’s this Palmer guy? Why doesn’t he know about him? And why does John ? And what did he say about this Palmer gut not taking no for an answer huh?

 

The second she was out the door he looked at John and what he saw in his best friends eyes made him want to throw up. Disappointment.

I guess it’s true what people say… You never know how much you want it until you lose it.


	2. Enough is enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Onliver screw things up even more ?
> 
> How much can felicity take ? 
> 
> Warning: you might cry.

 

When felicity got home she took a long warm bath and listened to Adele while singing along. Pathetic right? But who cares she’s feels like singing Adele out loud so she does. Once her skin turned like a prune, she got out of her tub, quickly dried herself and put on some yoga pants and her big old MTI sweat. She straightened her hair and applied her night skincare.

An hour later she was siting restless on her couch, her mint chip ice cream long gone. She wasn’t tired and she desperately needed to do something in order to avoid thinking about you know who.

 

_Coding of course! How could I forget about what I do best? Let’s do a bit of hacking she thought smiling. Wait! My tablet where is it?_

 

She must have forgotten it at the foundry when she left in a hurry after …

 

_NO! Not going there Felicity! Nope._

 

_Crap !_

 

Maybe she could just go and pick it up? Yeah she’ll do that. Heading to her front door she took her car keys and put on her heels not wanting to go back to her room to pick up some snickers.

So there she was at 1 am driving towards the foundry.

She parked her car and walked towards the back entrance as usual. She typed the code and walked down the stairs. She stopped dead when she reached the last stair.

She forgot how to breathe.

What is air?

Her heart stopped beating or is it beating like it might explode? She doesn’t know.

There in front of her were Sara and Oliver pressed together kissing. She was facing Sara’s naked back and saw Oliver’s hand running through her back and ass. She could only see Sara from this angle. All of the sudden Oliver picked her up and her legs went instantly around his waist and he pressed them against one of the foundry pillar. It is that moment she realized that he had his pants hanging around his ankles.

 

_Oh no please god no !_

 

And then she heard them moan in sync and that when she lost it. She shut her eyes so tight that it hurt and her hands flew to cover her ears praying every god that she would just wake up from this nightmare. She could not hear them. She just could not.

 

_This cant’ be happening… Please this can’t be happening. Don’t cry don’t cry please I don’t want to cry._

 

And then she felt the first tears running down her cheeks.

She covered her mouth with both of her hands to keep her sobs in and avoiding making any noise. She pressed her fingers so hard that she’s probably sure she’ll leave marks.

Keeping her right hand pressed against her mouth, she reached for her heels with her left hand and took them off really gently and silently. Holding her shoes close to her heart she turned around to climb up the stairs. She was so careful, tiptoeing not wanting to be heard and seen. She put her head down towards her chest trying to cover her ears as best as she could.

 

When she got to the top, she opened the door as slow as she could but she left it slightly open, afraid that it would make some noise when she closes it behind her. She run to her car and let the river of tears flow as soon as she was sited behind her wheel.

Oliver officially broke her. That is the moment when Felicity Smoke lost a part of herself. She knew that from this day forward, she would never be the same. He ripped her heart and crushed it with his own hands.

She was in so much pain. She could not breathe.

After 5 or so minutes, she gathered her emotions and took her phone. She quickly booked a plane ticket to Vegas for the next morning and she drove home.

When she arrived at her apartment, she took it upon herself to think straight for a moment and take care of things; first she needed to text Dig so she typed a quick text saying that she had to go back home for personal reason but that she was ok and that she’d call him as soon as she can. Then she packed a bag with only essentials and cleaned her house a bit.

Then and only then, she laid down on her bed and for the first time in her life she cried herself to sleep.

 

......................................................................

 

“Do you know who this Palmer guy is?

Oliver was still be bit shaken from the last ten or so minutes. From what he had done with Sara to Felicity indifference towards him and that Palmer guy calling her.

“You mean the Ray Palmer. Ollie you have to keep up with our social life. He’s basically who every mother want their daughter to marry. He’s the CEO of Palmer Tech, 29, billionaire, a grade A genius with a killer body and a head spinning smile. And he also has been trying to see Felicity for the past 2 Weeks.”

“Why the hell does he want to see her?”

“Not see her see her… He Wants her Ollie.”

“….”

“I mean come on she’s a genius, an unemployed genius who before was your EA instead and changing our world. They are like the perfect match. He wants her to come work with him. And I am sure he would not be against being with her in private as well. They would make super genius babies that is for sure!!!”

Oliver was just speechless. He did not see this one coming. Palmer wants Felicity. Of course he wants her.

He felt like he was going crazy with all the thoughts going in his head. That is what he wanted right? He wanted Felicity to move on and be happy but it never got to the point where he actually imagined her with someone else.

Just the thought of her being with someone else, of her being kissed by someone else, of her being touched and touching someone else makes him want to crush everything in front of him. He craves that kind of intimacy with her. The kind of intimacy where only him could know and trace with his fingers all the mole over her body. He wants to know what turns her on, he wants to know if she’s vocal or constantly bites her lips to hold her cries in bed. He dreams about lazy Sunday mornings in bed, just holding her close. He dreams about secret looks and private jokes. He dreamed of knowing things about her that only her lover could know.

He loves her too much to risk her. And being with him makes her in danger he is certain of that.

 

He must have spaced out for a bit cause he just saw Sara kissing his cheek and heard something about her going upstairs to work.

 

He is so lost and that he feels like drowning. He goes to his desk and he picks up a bottle of pure Russian vodka that he really needs right now. He sits down on the floor and he drinks from the bottle not even bothering getting a glass

Three hours later and the bottle long gone, he is laying on the mats completely drunk. This is how Sara finds him.

“God Ollie are you drunk?”

“Hell I am. I’m drunk in love Sara. It’s like this Beyoncé song that Felicity keeps listening to. You know how much she loves her “Quenn B”

“No I don’t. Now get up.”

“No I wanna stay right here.”

“Ok. I’ll stay with you”

“Sara !! Cant’ you see that I’m broken ? That I am darkness? Why would you want someone like me?”

“Because I am broken and I am darkness too Ollie !”

They were shouting at each other and suddenly sara got up and helped him do as well.

They were facing each other and Sara took a step towards him making their chest almost touch

“We’ve been through the same thing Oliver. I know what I’m getting myself into and I can take care of myself both emotionally and physically.”

Oliver opened his mouth to reply but Sara launched herself at him and kissed him. He kissed her back but then pulled away looking down at her puzzled.

“Sara what the fuck ?”

She looked up at him and whispered his name.

She kissed him back with more passion and threw her arms around his neck. His responded and took of her shirt and then his.

Their hands weren’t shy; exploring each others body. He unclasped her bra and let it fall on the floor. He was avoiding her lips preferring her neck and breast. She was rubbing him through his pants and he cursed loudly. She undid his belt and pushed his pants and boxers down. She grabbed his cock and started stroking him. He pushed her skirt up and picked up her up.  
He pressed them on a pillar and entered her in a long swift motion.

It was hard and fast. Just pure primal sex to find release.

Sara came and he followed her.

He put her down and they both put their clothes back on.

Oliver was wincing and running his hand through his hair.

“Look Sara I ..”

“It’s ok Ollie. We’ll talk later”

With that she left and he fell back on the ground.

 

_What the fuck have I done?_

 

* * *

  
Felicity woke up to several missed calls and texts among them 4 missed calls were from Ray Palmer, and a text from Dig asking if she needed a ride to the airport.

And she saw it :

**Oliver Queen 5 missed calls.**   
**Oliver queen 2 messages.**

_Oh Boy !_

She erased his texts without even opening.

She got up and went to her bathroom and when she took a look at herself she gasped cause you could really see that she literally cried herself to sleep; her face was puffy her eyes red and swollen. She splashed some cold water and took a quick shower. She still had 3 hours before she had to leave her house, so she put on some comfy sleep shorts and a tank top. She made some coffee and settled down on her couch.

Her phone rang again: **Oliver Queen**

_Damn what is it with him today?_

She let it went to voicemail.

On her second episode of scandal she heard a knock on her door

_The hell?_

She got up and open the door.

“So you are alive thank god!”

“What ? Mr Palmer what are…”

Her phone rang again interrupting her.

Oliver damn Queen

“Please call me Ray”

“Okaaaay …”

That’s when she took a second to look at him and Man he was attractive. He was wearing workout clothes, a short, jordans and t-sirt, all sweaty and clunging is perfect upper body. She could see his abs and they were fine abs let me tell you. She broke out of her reverie and found him staring at her.  
He kept staring at her face and she was starting to feel a bit self-conscious.

“What? What are you staring at me like that?”

As if she was breaking him out on his own reverie he slightly shook his head and smile

God his smile

“Sorry I didn’t mean to hum …. Embarrass you … it’s just that .. well you just look ..”

And on top of a killer body, a smile that could drop panties; he is the cutest when he’s doesn’t know how to say something.

“You’re just very beautiful in the morning. I don’t remember ever seeing a woman that beautiful in the morning without an inch of makeup on”

_Oh_

_Funny I just spent my night crying._

“Oh I am sorry to hear that”

_Damn her stupid stupid mouth filter._

“It’s ok … thanks .. I guess”

She could feel her cheeks grow red, it was really hot in her apartment all of the sudden.

“Sorry I really did not mean to make you uncomfortable. Just stating a fact”

He was smiling at her. A pure genuine smile that went to his eyes.

“Ok! How can I help you Ray? What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here? Are you serious Miss Smoak? You just hang up on me last night and I’ve been trying to call ever since. “

Suddenly his tone was harder as if he was what …. Worried ? No that can be it

“I was worried like crazy thinking you passed out or got mugged so I had to check in person”

So he was actually worried. He cared about her wellbeing.

_But why?_

“Call me Felicity. And yeah I’m sorry about the not answering thing I just …”

“No it’s ok you don’t have anything to explain. I just was worried and I was running in the neighborhood so I thought I’d check on you. Not a stalker I promise. Even if I have been trying to see you for the past month but you always skip through my fingers”

He said the last part with a pout and god it was the cutest thing.

“Do you want some coffee Ray? We can talk if you want”

“I’d love to Felicity”

His smile was contagious so she found herself smiling back.

They were sited on her couch and he was explaining her for the 10th time why he needs her to come work with him.

“Come on Felicity you and I could change the world I have no doubt about that”

She was about to answer when her phone rang again and Oliver’s face was on display on her coffee table. She put her phone on silent and looked at Ray.

“I see I am not the only one who got the not answering treatment. It actually makes me feel better”

“I’ll got get more coffee”

She filled the two cups with coffee and turned around when she crashed into something hard and realized she collided with Ray’s chest. The coffee was all over his chest and on the floor.

“Oh my god Ray I’m so sorry I did not see you. God God God Ray I’m sorry I’m so clumsy I swear it’s a disease”

When she heard him laugh and realized how crazy she sounded so she laughed with him.

“It’s ok Felicity don’t worry about it”.

“I know but…”.

Her words died in her throat when all of the sudden he took of his shirt. And damn she knew he had amazing abs and arms and damn she was staring. She quickly turned around already feeling her face growing red.

_Get it together girl it’s not like you’ve never see a men a before._

She turned back to face him but she was looking at the celling

“You know what Ray ? Why don’t you just stay here while I’ll try to find a shirt that fits you.”

“I’ve been told that Iam tall but I don’t think that I’m actually that tall so could you please look down at me” the laugh in his voice was so clear that she instantly look at him and he was indeed smiling

"I would actually appreciate a dry shirt and I’ll just try to imagine that he belongs to your dad and not your boyfriend."

He imidiatly saw her expression change and dammed himself

“I’m mean … I’m sorry if ..”

“It’s ok Ray .. but yeah no father and no boyfriend but you’ll have to settle for the ex boyfriend shirt if that’s ok

“I’m sorry to hear that about your father .. But yeah I’ll take the shirt”

“Ok great I’ll be right back”

She went to her guest bedroom and was looking through her drawers and finally found a simple black tee that belong to her ex dean. She was closing the drawer when she heard her bell ringing

What now?

She was walking back to her living room and the scene she walk into made her reconsider her mental health Like is it possible to hallucinate while being sure that you’re not?

What the hell is he doing here ?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot more coming up so stay tuned guys ! 
> 
> Olicity FamBam !
> 
> Kudos and comment please ;) 
> 
> Sophia


	3. Start of something new

Ray was holding the door knob, front door entirely open and Oliver was standing across the tree sol.

_Oh my fracking god why is this happening to me ?_

She saw Oliver expression and then realized the sight he had in front of him.

Her in tiny tiny sleep shorts and tank top and Ray almost naked.

_Great just Great._

“Here’s the shirt Ray”

She still wasn’t looking at Oliver.

“Thanks Felicity. The door ringed and you were in your bedroom so I just opened I Hope it’s ok”

“Sure no problem. Could you just wait for me in the living room I’ll be here in a sec”

“You sure?”

“Yeah yeah I’ll promise It’ll take a second” she tried a smile and of course Ray smiled back at her.

“Alright “

It hit her how little she was wearing and she needed something to cover herself with.  
She finally dared to look at Oliver in the eye and it was like someone punched her in the stomach. She had never seen that particular expression in his eyes.  
It was as if he was devastated, he looked so sad. Eyes glossy and mouth hanging open.  
All of the sudden she was angry so angry. He had no right to feel this way. For god’s sakes he had sex with Sara like a few hours ago.

Ok it looked like she spent the night with Ray but hell he really did had sex with Sara.

And what is he even doing here huh ?

“Just a second I’ll be right back” she said not meeting his eyes.

She went to her bedroom and put on her robe. It was a satin black robe that reached her mid-thigh but it’ll do, it’s better that her tiny shorts.

She was tying her robe and walking back to Oliver.

 

He was still standing outside her apartment with the door wide open

 

“What can I do for you Oliver?”

She was looking straight in his eyes and she was certain that no emotions or feeling or whatsoever were coming out of hers. He won’t be able to read her this time.

_No mister !_

“I …. I “

Ok speechless Oliver it is then. That has to be a first.

“Oliver? What are you doing here?”

“You weren’t answering and you always answer and Dig said that … That you were leaving”

She chose to not comment on the not answering thing and went straight to the point.

“Yeah I have to go back to Vegas I don’t know when I’ll be back. But don’t worry I’ve set the computers foundry in easy mode and left some notes for Sara so that she knows what to do. I mean she already knows a lot about computers I just added a few things nothing crazy. So yeah don’t worry about that”

He looked at her as if she was speaking Chinese. Like he was not understanding a thing she was saying or as if she was crazy you chose.

“Fe-li-ci-ty? “

He sounded so lost.

“You think I give a fuck about the computers and the foundry ?? I give a fuck that you’re planning on leaving without even telling me!! Felicity???”

She had two options here:

Option number 1: Violence. She could either lash out on him, tell him everything she has on her mind and heart. Yell, slap and beat him and probably ending up crying.

Option number: Indifference. Act as if everything was normal. Not showing any kind of hurtful feelings. Basically protect what is left of her heart and act all smiley and normal

Option number 2 it is.

“Come on Oliver it’s not a big deal I told Dig I was leaving. He’s dropping me at the airport.”

He just stood there. Not replying. He was just looking at her. No scratch that, he was staring at her as if he would find the answers he’s looking for. He was burning holes into her skin, his eyes travelling her body from her hair to her cheeks, to her mouth, and then her legs and toes. She was starting to feel a bit embarrassed and just wanted this conversation to be over. She wanted him to leave.

“And why do I have to find out from Dig? And what’s happening why are you leaving? ”

 

“Look Oliver I’m a bit busy here and I still have thing to take care of before I leave so …  
Don’t worry I’ll call and text. And you can call me if there’s a problem with the computers”

Felicity was very surprised of all the emotions she could read on Oliver’s face because god only knows that this guy never let his feelings and emotions show.

It was hard on Felicity to see him so insecure and unsure of himself but she had to remind herself what he’s done and how much it hurt her.

When they came back from Russia and the whole Isabelle thing happened it really hurt her that he’d chose Isabelle in the first place but she had to be honest with herself and admit that it could have been any other random girl and it would have hurt just as much. She wanted to be the one he came to.

She wanted to feel wanted and to be chosen.

He told her that could not be with someone he really cared about and she believed with every fiber of her being that he was talking about her, that she was the one he could really care about. But not long after that he started his thing with Sara so she got to the conclusion that he never was talking about her. That she would never be “his someone he really could really care about”. It hurt as hell and it became hard to work with him day and night and witness all the displays of affections between Sara and Oliver. But she took it upon herself to be strong because she believes in what they do and she still wants to make the world a better place.

 

But then they grew closer during the summer and he asked her out ! Oliver Queen asked her out and it’s all she ever wanted. She has never been more exited to go on a date in her entire life

It’s that night that she accepted that she was in love with him.

Despite all of that she ended up with her heart broken and her trust in men and love broken as well.

She was tired of this, of these never ending questions and “what ifs” that haunts her at night. She had to let go of him and let go of the idea of being with him. He never loved her and never will. You don’t do that to someone you love, you just don’t.

It was damn time that she starts thinking about herself, about her dreams she had to put on hold because of her new vigilante secret life. She sacrificed a lot of things for Oliver and his quest. But it became her quest as well and she never knew she needed this in the first place that’s why she’d never regret a single moment.

She lost herself in the process and she needed time to find her way back to happiness and let go of all this heartbreak feelings. She doesn’t want to become bitter and lose faith in love. She knows that at the end of the line, she will have her happy ending.

 

So even if it’s hard she had to be indifferent towards Oliver and be a bit harsh too.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver woke up with a terrible headache and a hangover. He felt like shit and he knows that it has nothing to do with the booze. His chest felt so tight that he wanted to cry. He could not even look at himself in the mirror.

He’s never been so ashamed in his entire life.

He woke up to a text from Diggle saying that he’ll take a couple of days to go visit Lyla and that Felicity won’t be here as well, that she won’t be here for an undetermined amount of time.

This is what got him into action, he showered and dressed in a record time and tried calling Felicity but she never answered. He even left some texts messages. Nothing.

He panicked and started asking himself dozens of questions. He could not wait any longer so he just grabbed his motorcycle keys and went straight to Felicity’s house.

 

There aren’t any words to describe what he felt at the sight of Ray Palmer and Felicity together. The guy opened the door thinking it was his own place and he was shirtless.

Felicity … Well let’s say that she was a vision. She is the most beautiful women he’d ever laid eyes on. He saw her all dressed up with her hair done her make up done and she was breathtaking, but her in tank top, tiny sleep short, messy hair and no makeup will from now on be his favorite look on her. How can she be that beautiful?

He took her in and memorized every single detail from the freckles around her nose, to the natural tint of her lips; the swell of her breast to her tiny waist. Her long shaped legs will be his undoing! They looked so soft. Her toes were painted a vibrant green.

He forgot how small she really is, the top of her head barely reaching his chin. He wants to cherish and protect her so bad; it becomes more and more a need every day. He needs to protect her.

He does not really hear what is going on cause he’s too focused on the fact that she’s standing almost naked with a man who’s also almost naked and they probably spent the night together.

She goes back to her bedroom and comes back wearing a little black robe that has the power to look decent but sexy at the same time and he wants nothing more than to rip it off of her.

 

He cannot believe she’s talking about the computers foundry and Sara right now.

He’s too shocked to even react when she tells him that she’s busy and she just shut the door in his face.

He can tell that she’s pulling away from him and he doesn’t know how to deal with that. He’s losing her and this scares the shit out of him.

 

...............................................................

 

 

“Hi again, sorry about that”

“No I’m sorry I should not have answered the door. "

"Is everything ok?”

He seems genuinely sincere and a bit worried and it makes her a bit emotional having someone you barely know caring about her.

“Honestly Ray? No everything’s not ok But it will be”

She gave him a shy smile.

“Because we’re on honesty path here I’m going to be honest with you Felicity. I don’t understand why you spent the last year as an EA when you’re an MIT grade in computer science with honors. You should be directing a department, leading a team, inventing things that will change our world. I did a bit a digging on you and I know you were not born with a silver spoon in your mouth. You had to fight and work hard. You won that scholarship Felicity. You could do so much better but the thing is that you deserve better. The world needs to know your name.”

She was basically on the verge of tears.

“Ray …”

“I mean every single word I said and if you don’t want to work in my company that’s fine but please don’t settle for what’s not what you deserve.”

“You give really good speech you know that”

She laughed and he followed her.

“All jokes aside I really want you to think about that offer Felicity. Don’t think that I came to you out of nowhere, I scanned the entire country to recruit my new team and believe it or not you’re on top of the list”

“I promise I’ll think about it.”

“That’s all I’m asking”

They were looking at each other both wearing a little smile.

“Ok I have taken enough of your time already. Thanks for the coffee and the talk. And again sorry about that awkward moment with Queen.”

 

“It was my pleasure Ray really and as I told you before it’s ok don’t worry about it.

They were walking towards her front door. She opened the door and he stepped outside facing her.

“I’ll call you and tell you where’s my mind at about the job. And I promise I won’t hang up on you this time”

“Ok I look forward to this phone call”

 

They were smiling at each other and Felicity waved her hand at him.

“Kay! Bye Ray”

“Bye Felicity”

He turned to leave but at the last second he turned back around to face her

“Felicity? Who ever made you cry last night does not even begin to realize what they’re missing on.. Trust me”

And with that he left.

 

She closed the door and threw herself on her couch

_What the hell just happened?_

On auto-pilot mode she went to her bedroom started getting ready.  
Once she was ready she made sure that all her windows her closed and everything was in order. She took her purse and bag and went to meet Dig downstairs.

He was leaning on his car and instantly smile when he saw her.

“Hey there! Planning on leaving me?”

He took her bag from her and pulled her into a hug.

They both climbed into the car  
.

“Ok Felicity what’s up?”

“I can’t do this anymore Dig. I need some time to think. Some time for myself. I haven’t thought about what I wanted and about how I felt for a really long time.  
I spend all my time with him. Daytime we work on saving his company, nighttime we’re crime fighting. I go back home every night at 2 am at best only to see him at 8 in the morning.  
I just can’t do it anymore Dig. It hurts too much”

He looked at her with a broken expression. He was very protective of her and seeing her so sad and heartbroken was hard for him.

“Why now Felicity?”

How can she tell him this? Saying it out loud makes it real and she doesn’t want it to be real. Her eyes filled with tears and she took a long breath.

“You can tell me anything Felicity I’ll always have your back”

“You have to promise me you won’t do anything about it. You won’t talk about it and this stays between us.”

He clearly wasn’t ok with this. But he agreed anyway.

“Ok I promise”

Felicity looked straight ahead of her unable to meet Dig’s eyes.

“Last night I walk in on Oliver and Sara”

It was barely a whisper but he heard it.

“You what?”

“I forgot my tablette at the foundry last night so I went back to pick it up. Once I got downstairs I saw them having sex. They were on the pillar next to the mats.”

Tears were running down her faces now.

Diggle was just too shocked to speak.

“They didn’t even see me or heard me Dig”

She choked on a loud sob and Dig threw his arms around her.

“And you know what’s funny? He showed up at my place this morning cause I wasn’t answering his calls. He sleeps with Sara, in the foundry of all places, and then in the morning he comes to my place complaining about me not answering him.”

“I swear to god I’m going to kill him”

“No Dig you promised”

“Felicity”

“No please Dig…”

“Listen to me Felicity. You go back to Vegas; you take as much time as you need. You spend time with your mom and your friends, and when you’re ready and only when you’re ready, you come back home and we’ll deal with everything then. I’m taking Lyla and the baby on a vacation too. I don’t think that I’ll be able to see him without beating him to death. We’re gonna take some time away from him because he really needs to get his shit together.”

 

She’s wiping her tears and he kissed the top of her head.

“Okay … Las Vegas Nevada here I come.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ? What do you guys think ? 
> 
> Let me know !
> 
> Sophia xo


	4. Vegas Baby

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooooo thank you guys so much for your comments it makes me soo happy !!
> 
> Here's the next chapter :)
> 
> Hope you'll enjoy
> 
> kudos and comment ;)
> 
> Sophia xoxo

The plane ride back to Vegas was rather short so did not really had the time to over think her decision to come back home. It was her first instinct to book a ticket when things were falling apart so it had to be the right choice right?

And it was.

The second she put a foot on the ground and breathed in the familiar hot and sandy air of Las Vegas she felt like things were going to be fine.

She picked up her luggage and headed toward the exit. That's when she saw the sparkling tight yellow dress and platform high heels. She instantly smiled so big that her cheeks hurt and ran so fast that she almost tripped.

Meet Donna Smoke, the happiest and the most colorful person Felicity knows. She's a bubble of light and she shines so bright.

“Oh my beautiful baby girl!!!”

Her mother was screaming with joy and excitement.

“Mom!!!”

She held her mother as if she was the last bit of air, she held her tight, so tight.

They were both holding each other and crying.

Felicity was sobbing, her head buried in her mother's neck.

“Let's get you home baby.”

Felicity took her mother’s hand in hers and together, they walked out of the airport and headed home.

They were sited in Donna's car and driving towards Ed's café, the only other place which feels like home for Felicity.

They parked and entered the café.

“Sweet Elvis ! Lis ? Is that really you ? I guess I’m getting old and senile now. Rita? Come here and tell me that I'm hallucinating here cause it can't be Felicity Smoke, the little genius who I consider like my own daughter but who barely visit and only calls once a month right ?”

« Ed »

His name came out breathy and teary and held a billion emotions in it, and before a tear managed to escape Felicity's eyes, she ran to him and he enveloped her in the biggest bear hug ever . 

“I missed so much Lis”

“I missed you too Eddy, so much. I swear on Elvis you don't even know how much I missed you guys.”

 

Edward Johnson was a 56 year old man who spent his entire life here in Vegas. He was the owner of Ed's café and was like a father to Felicity. When her biological father left her and her mother when she was only seven, life got really tough for the both them. Donna had to jungle two part time jobs because she could not afford a babysitter, so she worked when Felicity was at school and at night when she was sleeping. She hated the night shifts.

On day she entered Ed's café after her night shift, she was exhausted and on the verge of tears. She was staring at the parental authorization for Felicity's summer camp. She could not pay for it and she did not know how to tell Felicity. She was now crying, nursing her hot coffee in her hands. She was so sorry for her daughter and the life she gave her.

Ed then asked her if she was ok and she broke into sobs. He cared and he asked her that question out of genuine concern. She hadn't had someone to care for her and her daughter and she missed that so much.

She explained her situation to him and he just gave her a tissue to wipe her tears. He stood up and told her to call her bosses and quite and that he was expecting her tomorrow at eight.

He gave her a full time job with a good pay, vacations and Felicity could come hang out at the café when she did not have school.

That's how Ed, his wife Rita and their daughter Kiera became some of the most important people in the Smoke ladies’s life.

Felicity would never be able to repay him. She was forever grateful.

 

"Ok you're not supposed to see me cry so just go take your usual booth and I'll bring you your favorite kay? “

“Kay !”

She let go of him only to put her arms back around him and holding on him for dear life.

“ I know baby, I know”

Ed took her face in his hands and wiped her tears with his thumbs.

“I love you Eddy”

“And I love you Lis”

“Kiera and Emma are on their way over “

“Oh my God It all happened so fast that I did not even call her ! I was not supposed to come back until this Christmas; I just booked my flight last night. She's going to kill me.”

“No she's not. She almost cried this morning when I told her that you were coming. She's really happy that you're here with us. We all are. “

“I am too Eddy! I cannot wait to see Emma, she was barely walking last time I saw her. “

“Oh wait till you see her, you'll be shocked! Now go get your ass sited and I’ll bring you your special “

“Thanks Eddy, for everything “

They looked at each other and smiled.

“Don’t even mention it; but I have to say that no matter what, I made one good decision in my life 17 years ago. I'm the winner really “

“You know we are “

Felicity kissed him on the cheek and went to her booth were her mom was waiting for her.

“It's so good to be back here. I did not even realize how much I missed home and all of you guys until I landed.”

Her mother took her hands in hers and kissed them.

“You know how ecstatic I am that your home, I mean I practically called the entire town telling people that you were coming home. But what happened baby? “

 “What do you mean what happened? Nothing happened I just missed you “

“Lis baby … You know you cannot lie, especially me so don't try to lie to me. So when you’re ready to talk about him and what happened I'll be right here to listen with some red wine and mint chip. Just like old times. Kay? “

Felicity could not help but notice that her mother said « when you're ready » and not « if ». Donna knows her daughter from A to Z.

“Mom ... “

“When you want to talk baby I’m here”

Felicity's eyes filled with tears and her mother put her arms around her shoulders.

“I love you baby”

Felicity was about to reply when they were interrupted by a loud, loud scream

“AAAAA!! Aunt Fee!!! Up up up up in your arms!!”

“Oh my God Em!! Look at you; I cannot believe how big you've gotten! Oh my god!”

“Aunt Fee I told you it's princess Em! You have to call me Pincess Em! “

Emma made an exaggerated pout face and it was just the cutest thing ever.

“I’m sorry my beautiful little Princess Em”

“It’s Ok I forgive you because it's you “

“Thank you very much that's very kind of you. Now please I need kisses. So?”

Felicity and Emma both laughed and shouted at the same time;

“Kisses war!!!!”

They were laughing out loud and kissing each other’s faces everywhere.

“Of course you can’t' believe how big she's gotten cause you barely visit, and let's say that FaceTime can't be that “size realistic”

“Kiera!!!”

“Hey stranger”

They ran towards each other, hugged and held on for what felt like forever.

“I missed you so much you asshole “

“I missed you too Kiera, so much you dickhead” 

They laughed and let go of their embrace to intertwine their fingers.

“You and I have a lot to talk about Felicity. But this is for another time which includes less Emma and more alcohol.

"You're on."

 

 

Two hours later, they said their goodbyes to Ed, Rita, Kiera and Emma and headed home.

Felicity was exhausted like she could barely keep her eyes open. When she got home she wished a good night to her mother then she went to her bedroom. She put her clothes in her drawers and went to take a shower.

Once she was showered and dressed in her pyjamas, she was about to do what she avoided doing ever since she left Starling; which is checking her phone.

She took a long breath and closed her eyes for a couple of minutes.

Come on Felicity you can do this. No big deal right? Just check your phone and see who tried to contact you.

 _OK here goes nothing_.

She took her phone out of her purse and stared at the black screen for a couple of seconds.

_Ok Girl._

She pressed the home button on her phone and she saw that she had 17 missed calls and 8 messages.

_What the hell?_

Among those phone calls and texts; there were 2 missed calls and a text asking if she arrived home safely from Diggle.

_Oh God !!_

**Oliver Queen ; 15 missed calls.**

_Oh My Fracking God! Did someone die? 15 missed calls? Is he Serious?_

**Oliver Queen; 7 messages.**

 

She opened the first text he sent:

"Hey Felicity, I hope you're ok. Just want to make sure that you landed safely and are home safe. So yeah please let me know. Soon. I mean call me or Text me back as soon as you can. Bye"

She open the last text he sent which was like 15 minutes ago:

"Damn it Felicity!!!! You promised that you'd call and text and I haven't heard a word from you. Even Dig hasn't heard from you. I'm going crazy here. Answer please".

_WOW !_

She did not expect that. What the hell does he want from her? He ignores her and sleeps with Sara and suddenly he cannot seem to do without her? What the hell? Go to Fracking Hell Oliver Queen.

She erased all the other texts without reading them.

She replied to Dig saying that everything was ok and attached a picture a her and her family, Emma on her lap.

That is only then she saw the last unopened text and let's say that she was really surprised and eager to open it.

 

**Ray Palmer**

“Hi Felicity, I Just quickly wanted to know if you were doing better and if you arrived well (to where ever secret destination you went to). Let me know when you have a second. RP"

 

She was staring at her phone and smiling big, real big.

Without thinking she started typing and pressed sent.

She was really happy that he sent her a text and let’s say that she felt a bit bold.

 

FS:" Hi Ray! Safe and sound :). You really gotta stop tho with the sweet text like this, especially after what happened at my place cause I might get the wrong idea here … and we don’t want that right?"

_What??? Oh my god I really am sick!!_

 

FS:" And by what happened of course I mean spilling coffee all over you and the sweet things you said about me. That's what I mean because nothing happened. I just met you of course nothing happened; I'm soooo not that king of girl. Ok Bye"

 

_KILL ME NOW_

 

RP:” How do you managed to make me laugh so hard via text huh?"

FS:" Oh it's a talent trust me"

RP:" I trust you. Well I'm glad you're ok Felicity. I hope to see you soon.”

FS:” Goodnight Ray. And thx for checking up on me.”

RP:” Night Felicity”

RP:” And Felicity? FYI, when I’ll want you to get “the idea” trust me you will. And we definitely want that”.

 

_OH MY GOD_

 

She was too shocked to reply. She was teasing him but men he took the bait. Wow.

 

This time she fell asleep with a smile on her face.

 

It’s been 2 weeks since Felicity arrived in Vegas and she’s had the best time so far. She spent all her time with Kiera and Emma when while her mother was working. They would all meet at night to have dinner together.

She’s been keeping in touch with John but kept dodging Oliver’s calls and erasing his texts.

Being away from him really helped her. She was thinking less and less about him and her heart stared healing slowly but surely. She accepted how things are and was ready to move on.

The new surprising addition is that she has been texting with Ray every day. They were just joking around, sending funny pictures or memes and telling how each other’s day went.

It became a routine and she liked it a lot.

Tonight she was going out with Kiera and two of her other girlfriends Chloe and Kate. They were headed to the Palms to play a bit and then they were going clubbing.

Felicity as always was wining and she started bringing attention to her. A little audience gathered around the table where she was currently playing blackjack at.

After her twelfth round never losing, a guy approached her table and started talking loud enough so that everyone could hear him. He looked like he had too many drinks, he was drunk as hell.

“Come on guys you tell me that no one can beat her? There isn’t one single person in this whole damn casino that can beat her? Come on who wants to try?”

“I do.”

The voice came from her right and she immediately turned to that person not sure if she recognized the voice well.

“I challenge you Miss Smoke.”

She was looking for the face behind that voice and had the confirmation she was looking for when her eyes met Ray Palmer’s.

He was wearing the biggest smirk ever and his smile reached his eyes.

Her heart was beating fast.

“Well then please take a sit Mr Palmer. Let’s have some fun shall we”

 

They played 5 Rounds and Felicity won all of them. Of course she did. Their little audience which grew bigger kept applauding and making all sorts of noises that you usually hear during a sport game. It was hilarious.

“Well Mr Palmer you know what they say … Don’t start a fire is you can’t take the heat”

“Oh but I love fire Miss Smoke”

They both stood up and got to a more silent table where it was just the two of them.

“So this is your secret destination huh? Didn’t really thought you were a Vegas kind of girl”

“Well if you did your research on me well you’d know that I was born and raised here in Vegas. I actually took my first steps right over there near the bar.”

“Wow. That’s actually pretty cool”

She smiled at that.

“What are you doing here Ray. I have to say I never would have imagined seeing you here”

“I got here two days ago for a tech conference. I was the guest of honor so I couldn’t really skip it. I’m headed home in two days actually. What about you?”

“I came to visit my family and my friends. Speaking of them…”

She turned around and looked for her friends.

“Girls! Come here”

The three girls approached their table.

“Ray meet my sister Kiera and my two best friends Chloe and Kate. Girls this is Ray Palmer.”

“The Ray you’ve been texting all the time?? Well done Lis”

“Kate!!!”

Felicity felt her cheeks flush and elbowed Kate.

Kiera took pity on Felicity and shook Ray’s hand and introduced herself.

“It’s nice to meet you Ray. Felicity has been saying great things about you”.

“It’s nice to meet you too. Oh really? Well it’s nice to hear that”.

“You know what Felicity? Why don’t you show Ray around the city a bit and we’ll meet you guys later ok? Ok! Bye guys”

Kate took Kiera and Chloe by the hands and dragged them away from their table.

“But girls …”

Ray was had a huge smile on his face.

“Come on Felicity; show me the Vegas you know”

She smiled back at him and stood up.

“Well then let’s go”

 

She had an amazing night showing way her favorite places in Vegas. His favorite spot were the big fountains ad he took by surprise when he put his arm around her put his chin on top of her head and snapped a picture of them.

She had the best night.

 

She was ready. It was time to come back home and face reality.

 

* * *

 

We can easily say that Oliver was going crazy. He thought that he knew a lot about patience but hell no!

Felicity has been away for two weeks and he hasn’t heard once from her. Nothing. Not even a short text. Nothing!!! All his calls went to her voicemail and she did not call him back.

A week after she left, he was so close to going to Vegas and check for himself that she was ok if it weren’t for Sara who told him that she needed some space and to respect that.

He was currently on the salmon ladder and as always the news were a background noise in the foundry.

He almost fell from the ladder when he heard what the reporter said.

“Ok Julie on to our Gossip review and we have a lot to talk about today but we have to start with a breath of fresh romance with Ray Palmer and Felicity Smoke. Ray Palmer 29, is one of the youngest CEO in the world and is about to take over Starling City. We sure are going to hear a lot from him soon. Felicity Smoke 24, 5’3, was working at QC in the IT department and then as Oliver Queen EA. Rumors said that her and Oliver were romantically involved but nothing has ever been confirmed. I personally don’t think that they have been involved in the past considering all the women Queen dated who looked nothing like Smoke. They were all long leggy brunettes, not short sexy nerdy blondes.

Let me tell you guys that on top of being dead gorgeous she’s a genius. She graduated from MIT at 19! 19!!! We can tell that they must have a lot in common. The pair has been spotted on a romantic trip to Las Vegas. Our information says that Felicity Smoke was born and raised in Sin City and was showing Ray Palmer the city. Ooooohh look at these pictures Ryan, aren’t they the cutest? Well I for sure am team Raytlicity and we’re going to keep a close eye on the new it couple.”

On the screen were different pictures of them walking around the city, eating ice cream, laughing with some Elvis impersonators and one of them taking a picture together near big fountains. The smile she was wearing in every photo made him want to cry. He hasn’t seen her smile like this in so long and he isn’t the one receiving that smile.

Felicity was wearing a short black dress with cuts on her sides and silver heels. Her hair falling around her perfect face, her eyes bigger and bluer without the glasses, her lips red.

She’s so beautiful. He misses her so much.

He kept starring at the photo of them taking a photo together; how he had her in his arms, her smile so big and her cheeks flushed.

With an intense wave of rage he grabbed the stick on the floor and smashed the computer. He kept hitting and hitting until the computer was in pieces but apparently he wasn’t over; he dropped the stick and threw the med table and everything he could find on the floor with so much force that everything ended up in pieces.

“Wo wo wo what the hell men?!!! Have you lost your mind?!!!!

Diggle was shocked.

“You get the fuck away from me. You knew. You knew all along that she was seeing Palmer and you never told me. You are my best friend not hers. You should have taken my side not hers. I have been worried sick for the past two weeks while she was having fun fucking this guy”

It was just too much for Diggle and he punched Oliver so hard in the face that he fell.

 

“You shut the fuck up. You talk like that about her one more time and I’ll kill you. You’re such a hypocrite and a selfish bastard. You’ve put her through hell, you’ve hurt her like no one has ever hurt her before that she felt like she had to leave. She couldn’t even be around you. You fucked up so bad here Oliver. I don’t k now why you did all of that. What I know for sure is that I have been here from the beginning and that I know you. The thing is Oliver is that I have never seen you happier than when you were with her. I have never seen you that happy and that carefree with no one else, not with Laurel, or Sara, or McKenna or Helena Or even Thea or Tommy. I’ve been here watching everything and you’ve only truly been yourself and happy with her.  
I saw it in your eyes Oliver how you allowed yourself to imagined the future you could have with her. How you pictured her in a white dress walking towards you, how you imagined her round belly growing your kid. You imagined it all Oliver and for whatever reason you won't fight for it and you pushed her away. So if a nice dude realizes how incredible she is and doesn't want to let her go well good for her. I'll always support her. Men you can't react like that because all of the sudden her attention is on someone who isn't you. She always been here in front of you. She deserves better than this."

Dig got all of this out shouting, in one breath. He was gathering himself, breathing heavily, running a hand through his head.

"What the fuck happened Men"?

 

Oliver was shocked. He was still on the ground, stoned.

 

"... I ... I"m in love with her but can't be with her and I can't see her with someone else. It'll kill me I know."

 

"You have to fix things men or lose her for good this time."

 

"I can't lose her Dig. I love her. She's always been here for me."

 

"But have you always been here for her huh Oliver? What do you know about her? Have you ever asked her something about herself? What's her favourite food, movie, color, memory growing up... Her family and her Friends? Have you ever spent a minute thinking about how she became that amazing women?"

"I ....I"

"Of course you haven't"

"Dig how do I fix this?"

"I can't answer that question. Only you can."

"I don't know"

"Well you better figure it out soon because she's coming back in two days. You should start by cleaning and replacing the computers or she'll kill you".

With that, Diggle left.

Oliver's emotions were all over the place and he was still registering what Diggle said? Is it true? Did she leave because of him?

_What the fuck have I done?_

Sometimes you just need a little drop of cold hard truth to get your head out of your ass.


	5. The hurt is for the better baby.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi !!!! New chapter guys !  
> Hope you'll like it :)

 

The two weeks that Felicity spent in Vegas with her family was what she really needed and she was glad that her first instinct was to come back home. She's a lot stronger emotionally, she regained her confidence and she felt like she could face whatever is coming her way.

 

She had a long conversation with Keira; which included as promised a lot of wine; it felt so good to talk to her and telling her everything that happened, what she was feeling without holding back. She never really told Keira about Oliver, only that he was her boss and that they had a friendly relationship; so Keira was rather shocked by what Felicity told her. She had her mouth open and kept throwing a loads of “HE WHAT?!” “HE TOLD YOU WHAT?!” “NO WAY” “HE KISSED YOU??!!” “WHAT A DICK”.

 

When Felicity got to the point in her story where she told her about walking in on him and Sara, Keira gasped and whispered “Oh baby..” and tears began running on both of their faces. Keira could not imagine something like that happening to her and the pain that it would cause her. Knowing that her sister had to go through that, witness the man you love having sex with another women, killed her and made her want to punch Oliver Fucking Queen.

 

She held Felicity till she finished crying and told her what she thought about the whole situation which was basically that Oliver was a dick but that there's probably an explanation as to why he acted like this.

 

However she told Felicity that she shouldn't try to find out why he did it. He did it in the first place which means that he doesn't care about her or at least not enough and she should never settle for someone like that. She deserves better than him. She ended up saying with so much conviction and sincerity, holding both of Felicity's hands in hers, that she is beautiful, sexy as hell, strong, intelligent, and she has the biggest and kindest heart.

 

She told her about the way she always puts others needs before hers, the way she's always willing to help others without a second thought and how, despite not having a father and what happened with Cooper; she was strong enough to keep going and accomplish amazing things.

 

Keira made Felicity promise to try to never shed another tear for him, saying that she had cried enough and that every time she felt like crying; to close her eyes and think about everything she went through and remember who she is and what she deserves.

 

They closed the Oliver Queen chapter and talk about other things and obviously Keira asked her about Ray and what was going on between the two of them.

 

Speaking of Ray, she was currently in his jet, on their way back to Starling.

 

“Come on Felicity relax, it's just a jet. Nothing crazy!”

 

 _Easy for you to say Mister Billionaire_ !

 

“Yeah well I'm not used to traveling in jets which probably costs gazillions of dollars. And I never really understood why do they serve champagne on Jets or first class flights? Is it some king of tradition? Who'd want to drink champagne at 10 in the morning huh?”

 

She said the last part eyeing the glass of champagne that the flight attendant gave her a couple of minutes ago.

 

“Well I guess it is, some sort of rich people tradition, and besides who says no to good champagne?”

 

“I'm a red wine kinda girl”

 

His wicked smile was back on his face and it made Felicity feel weird things, things she did not want to think about or put a name on.

 

_Not going there! Nope!_

 

“Duly noted...”

 

Last night Felicity brought Ray to Ed's Café and he met her mother, Ed and all the others. It was rather strange for her to see Ray here, with her family. Ed gave him some scary looks which was hilarious and her mother was in fan girling mode. She had the sexiest smile on and her hands weren't shy holding his arms and shoulders. Felicity wanted to kill her. Then Donna threw her signature lines beginning with her famous “Nonsense honey call me Donna you silly”.

 

But in general she had a great time with her family, her friends and Ray. During dinner, her mother asked her about her flight the next morning and then Ray told her that she should join him on his jet. He insisted, like really really insisted, and her family also told her that she'd be silly to refuse cause he was going back to Starling too. She was against 8 very convincing people so she had no other choice than to agree.

 

 

So here she was in Ray's jet, and she has to admit that it was a bit less intimidating that she thought it would be. Ray made her very comfortable which was very sweet of him.

 

Thinking back on her conversation with Keira, when she asked her about her and Ray relation and what was going on, she still was very confused and did not really know what to think as she told Keira. There's no doubt that she finds him very attractive and they obviously have a lot lot in common but is she ready to jump in a new relationship? And even if Ray seems very interested and doesn't hold back on the compliments and explicit comments, he never clearly asked her out. So it was an undefined blurry relation and it was ok for her.

 

“I wanted to ask you something.”

 

Ray was smiling shyly and fidgeting his fingers.

 

“Yeah sure go ahead.”

 

He was a tiny bit nervous which made Felicity extremely nervous.

 

“This weekend there's a Gala for the opening of the new Central City orphanage, you know rich people like to show off, and I was wondering if you'd like to accompany me.”

 

There was so much hope in his eyes.

 

_Oh Boy!_

 

Should she accept? Is he asking her to be just his plus one or more? She doesn't know.

 

What would it mean if she accepts? She has to stop over thinking this and do what feels right; right now it feels right to accept his invitation. We're only Wednesday so she still has time to go dress shopping and pamper herself.

 

_Oliver._

 

 

She knows that he is invited too and that he's probably going. How is he going to react if she goes with Palmer? He probably doesn't care. The invitation came over a month ago and he never asked her to come with him? He never planned on asking her.

 

_Why the hell am I thinking about him right now?_

 

Lost in her thought, she glanced at Ray and saw he smile fall; and realized that she hasn't answered and it's probably been more than a minute. A minute can be a long time.

 

“I mean no pressure or anything … if you already planned on going with...”

 

“I'd love to go with you Ray”

 

She smile big; she was all of the sudden really excited about this Gala; excited about the idea of taking some time to herself, maybe having a spa afternoon and taking her time getting herself ready and somewhat presentable.

 

“Really?”

 

She laughed a bit at his tone and facial expression; he was the cutest.

 

“Yeah really I would very much enjoy being your plus one.”

 

“Well I'm glad. Thanks for agreeing. Otherwise I would have to take my mother and she would without a doubt ask me about my love life and we'd fight again and well you know … not fun.”

 

“Well you've met my mother so…”

 

“Come on Felicity your mother's the sweetest women ever. She loves you very much. I could tell with only a glance at the way she looks at you with so much love, admiration and pride.”

 

“Yeah… I would not be here without her… she's the best”.

 

All of the sudden the mood got very emotional as if they were whispering and confessing secrets.

 

“What does your mothers bugs you about?”

 

Ray reached for his wallet and showed Felicity a picture.

 

“Her name was Hannah. We were engaged. She died 5 months ago when those men took the city and killed everyone.”

 

“Oh my god Ray… I'm so so sorry I didn't know i'm sorry. You don't have to tell me about it.”

 

“No it's ok.. I never really talked about it… We met in high school and we've been together since college. I was the geek guy with the glasses and the braces, the books and the computers and she was the gorgeous captain of the cheerleaders, she was unattainable and I never even dared imagined being with her. Turns out she was a math genius and we won together the national mathletes. The rest is history; we fell madly in love and went to the same college, moved in together and last year I proposed. You can really make a romcom out of our story.”

 

He laughed bitterly and she was so very sorry for him.

 

 

“I'm so sorry for your loss Ray. Sorry that she was taken away from you. She was very beautiful.”

 

“Yeah she was… thanks. Anyway my mom keeps telling me that I should try to go out more, date someone that Hannah would have wanted me to be happy and move on. Let's say that we end up yelling at each other pretty much every time. We fight a lot but I know that she has great intentions and wants me to be happy.”

 

“Of course she does… Mothers are great like that”

 

They both were lost in thoughts.

 

“Do you see yourself becoming one?”

 

“What?”

 

“A mother. Do you want kids?”

 

_What??_

 

She did not see that topic conversation coming so she was taken by surprise.

 

“… I guess someday… yeah I see myself having kids; not right now but down the line yeah. Growing up I dreamt about the whole perfect family so much, I dreamt about the perfect loving husband, perfect babies with blond hair and blue eyes; and of course the perfect house with the white picket fence and a dog. This dream got me through tough moments when all I wanted to do was to let go and give up, but then I would remember why I was doing all of this for and would pick myself up.”

 

She was very emotional and tears gathered in her eyes. She looked up at Ray and gave him a teary smile.

 

“That's a beautiful dream”

 

A tear escaped her eye and Ray wiped it with his thumb.

 

“It's a very beautiful dream” he repeated.

 

Their moment was cut off when the pilot announced that they were landing.

 

 

That got Felicity's attention and she was all of the sudden a bit nervous.

 

_Time to go home._

 

Ray was standing behind Felicity and had his hand on her back while the plane door was being opened.

 

There were a dozen of reporters with cameras and mics waiting for them on the tarmac. She almost fell because the flashes were blinding her. Ray caught her and shielded her from the flashes, tucking her in his arms.

 

“Get your fucking cameras off of her, NOW !!”

 

_Damn angry Ray is kinda hot!_

 

He was growling at them but they kept asking questions and taking photos.

 

“Since when are you two together?”

“How much of his money have you taken?”

“Did he buy you fancy couture clothes?”

“How long did it take before he screwed you? Two days?”

 

The guy who asked the last question grabbed Felicity's arm and she screamed trying to get out of his hold.

 

That's the moment Ray lost his temper.

 

He punched the guy; both him and his camera falling on the floor. Ray smashed the camera with his right foot, grabbed Felicity's hand and rushed her into the car.

 

_What the hell just happened?_

 

“Are you ok? He didn't hurt you did he?”

 

The worry was clear in his voice.

 

“No I’m fine, just a little bit shaken up… Why were all these people waiting for us?”

 

“I have no idea… I'm used to the attention but not like this, they took it to another level.”

 

“Yeah… Can you drop me at my apartment?”

 

“Of course, let’s go.”

 

The ride was mostly silent. When they arrived at her apartment, he helped her with her luggage, they entered the building.

 

They were in front of her door and for some reason you could cut the tension with a knife, as if they were both extremely nervous and did not know what to say.

 

Ray was the first to speak.

 

“Again I’m sorry about what happened, I promise I’m gonna take care of it with my lawyers.”

 

“It's ok Ray”

 

She smiled shyly.

 

“Well I guess I’ll see you this weekend then. I'll take care of the hotel reservation and everything. A car will pick you up.

 

Ray knew that she was about to refuse so he gave her a funny warning look and she laughed.

 

“Ok… Thank you for everything... The jet and how you acted with these reporters.”

 

“No it was my pleasure don't worry. Well you're probably a bit tired so I’m gonna go. I'll see you this weekend.”

 

He bent down and kissed her cheek.

 

“Bye Ray”

 

“Bye”

 

Once she was home, she did her laundry, check the mails and took a long warm bath.

 

She got dressed in comfy sweat pants and hoody. She straightened her hair and applied very minimal make up.

 

She called Diggle and asked him if he could pick her up at her place to go to the foundry.

 

He agreed and told that he would pick her up in 15'.

 

That gave her 15' to stress and imagine every scenario about her “reunion” with Oliver?

I mean she completely avoided the guy, ignored all of his texts and calls, not forgetting that the last time she saw him she basically shut the door in his face.

 

_Damn what's gonna happened?_

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Oliver was working out in the foundry, or let's say that he could not stay in place because of how much he was nervous. So he was working out, doing something with his hands and occupying his brain.

 

Diggle was working out beside him; not with him 'cause he was still not talking to Oliver and refused to work out with him, when his phone rang. Dig picked up and instantly smiled

 

“Hey there !…. You sure? …. Yeah ok no problem I’ll be there in 15' to pick you up”.

 

He knew who was on the other side of that phone call even before Dig told him and he was hit with a cocktail of emotions.

 

It was her.

 

She was coming back. And that scared the shit out of him. How is he supposed to act towards her? Let’s be honest he is mad at her like really extremely mad because she’s been ignoring him and it hurt.

 

But he misses her so much that the single thought of her coming back here, with him, erases some of that anger.

 

He hasn’t seen her face or heard her voice since that awful morning two weeks ago and he was going insane.

 

He needs to see her like he needs air.

 

“It was Felicity. I’m gonna pick her up at her apartment.”

 

Oliver stared at Dig, looking like a lost child in the middle of a crowed.

 

Dig took pity on him.

 

“Knowing her she’s probably gonna try to make things not weird and be her usual babbly self so try as well to not be weird around her. Just welcome her back and see how it goes”.

 

“umhum”; is all Oliver manages to respond.

 

Dig climbs up the stairs leaving him alone with his loud thoughts.

 

_Come on it’s just Felicity right, men up a bit!_

 

 

 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been lost in thoughts but soon enough he heard the familiar bip of the door.

 

_Alright, here goes nothing._

 

His heart was beating so fast; he was facing the computers, his back to the stairs He frowned when he did NOT hear the usual sound of her heels. He turned around and he’s sure he stopped breathing.

 

No words can describe what he felt when he saw her.

 

_GOD!_

 

She was wearing black sweat pants, a black hoodie and some Nikes, he never saw her wearing anything but colorful dresses, skirts and blouses. The color of her current outfit felt so wrong to him and so not Felicity. He loved seeing her in more casual relaxed clothes but it just felt off.

Her beautiful long hair wasn’t in its usual ponytail but was running along the sides of her face and he had to physically stop himself from launching himself on her.

 

Seeing her here in front of him he felt like he could really breathe for the first time in two weeks.

 

When they reached the last stair, he saw Dig briefly squeeze her hand.

 

_What the fuck was that?_

 

The second his eyes landed on her face, he knew that things were still very wrong.

 

He almost doesn’t recognize her. Gone is the usual genuine care he finds in her eyes. She looks so indifferent and like she feels no emotions; he’s really taken aback and doesn’t know what to say.

 

She beat him to the punch.

 

“Hi. So how crime fighting has been doing lately?”

 

_Hi so how crime fighting has been doing lately? This is how she’s going with?? Is she serious?_

 

She doesn’t even look at him.

 

He wants to cry right now.

 

Things used to be sooo easy between them, easy as breathing. They never needed words to understand each other. But now he can no longer read her. She used to be his open book.

 

Clearing his throat, he tried to regain his composure.

 

“Hello Felicity. How are you doing? How was your trip?”

 

“I’m fine thanks. It was great. My babies I missed you so much”

 

She was caressing her computers and taking her sit in her chair.

She turned on the computers and thought that she was hallucinating when she saw the news tab.

 

“OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT? ARE THEY SERIOUS??!!”

 

The reporters were talking about her and Ray, many photos on display of their trip in Vegas and what happened when they landed.

 

“Seems like their little romantic trip is over guys, as we saw the new couple arriving in Starling in Ray Palmer’s jet today. One of the journalist has been very rough with them and assaulted Felicity Smoak, insulting her and manhandling her. Of course her knight in shining armor came to the rescue and punched the guy. SOOOO romantic you guys I’m dying!! Smoak was as always stunning wearing a Burberry trench coat and nude stilettos. It really isn’t fair. Well that’s all for the latest new on our favorite new IT couple for today. Stay tunned.”

 

“UN-FUCKING-BELIEVABLE! THESE PICTURES ARE PRIVATE HOW DID THEY GET THEM???

 

He never ever heard her swear before; she was pissed, really pissed.

 

She was furiously typing away when the video of her and Ray leaving the plane was on the screen. He gulped at the way he had her in his arms and a wave of pure rage hit him when he saw the man grab Felicity.

 

“Run facial recognition on this guy. I want a name.”

 

His voice sounded like venom even to his own ear. It was dangerously calm but harsh.

 

Felicity looked up at him in surprise and he saw a glimpse of her emotions but she masked them as soon as she realized.

 

“No Oliver it’s ok, it’s been taken care of..”

 

“I WANT A NAME !”

 

He yelled, which made her jump in her sit. She stood up but she had to look up and he had to look down.

 

_Right she’s not wearing heels and she’s tiny._

 

He was glad that his outburst created something in her because she was talking and yelling AT him; he could finally see something other than indifference in her eyes.

 

“Why are you so stubborn god! I told you that it was taken care of and besides I don’t need you to save me every time ok ?!!!”

 

They were both breathing heavily and very close, their chest almost touching.

He really has to take a step back or he’s gonna lose his control. Her sent is driving him crazy and he was so close to grab her and kiss her.

 

_Take a step back, come on take a step back!_

 

It’s like he could not move, he was glued on his spot and their eyes could not look away from each other. She was his undoing.

 

She closed her eyes and took a step back from him.

 

Diggle cleared his throat and they both looked at him.

 

“You sure you’re Ok Felicity?

 

“Yeah Dig I promise I’m fine”

 

“Okay then! Let’s talk about tonight’s patrol and what we’ll do.”

 

 

For the next 3 hours they worked in sync, just like old times. She was on her computers, the boys were working out till it was time for Oliver to gear up and they both left to hit the streets.

 

“Guys I gotta head back home, Lyla just called me and asked me to come back home. She used her loud voice, the one you use Felicity so … I’ll try to come back to drop you at your place Felicity but I can’t promise you anything.”

 

“No no no don’t worry about me, go to your family, I’ll just take a cab.”

 

“No you’re not.”

 

Oliver’s voice was barely audible; he was whispering cause he was hiding and waiting for the right moment to strike.

 

“What do you mean I’m not?

 

_That Woman!!_

 

“Because Felicity, there’s no way I’m gonna let you take a cab from the glades at this hour.”

 

“We’ll talk about it when you come back.”

 

_That Woman!!_

 

* * *

 

 

Oliver’s gonna give Felicity a ride back to her apartment. Because there is just no way that he’s gonna let her go by herself let’s not fool ourselves.

 

_Oh god! I’m not gonna survive this!_

 

He walked down the stairs and told her that he’ll change and then they could go.

 

She nodded.

 

_Oh My fracking god!_

 

Ten minutes later, he emerged from the bathroom, wait hair and smelling amazing. She could live in a bubble of his sent, wrap herself in it and..

 

_WO girl calm down, don’t think about him like that, just don’t._

 

“You ready to go?”

 

He seemed so unsure of himself that it almost made her let her guard down, almost.

 

“Yeah but Oliver it really is no big deal I can catch a cab.”

 

“Felicity! Let’s go.”

 

Exasperated and Angry Oliver; a dangerously sexy combinasion.

 

“Kay…”

 

They climbed the stairs and were in the parking lot behind Verdant.

 

_What The Hell??_

 

“Euh…. Oliver?? What is that?”

 

“My motorcycle Felicity.”

 

She laughed and Oliver was amazed by the sound.

 

“Oh you really think that I- am gonna ride on this death thing? Yeah right !”

 

“Come on Felicity it’s just a motorcycle, I’m good at riding it and you’ve seen me do so.”

 

“Yeah I’ve seen you that’s why I’m not climbing on this thing.

I want a car, with seat belts, doors and airbags. What if I’m too heavy and we fall, or you miscalculate the distance or… ”

 

“Felicity, your weight is close to a feather and I’ll never let anything happen to you. Never..”

 

_Don’t say these things to me you asshole!_

 

She made a pouty face but she knew that she was driving in it anyway so she just accepted the helmet he gave her.

 

He turned on the bike and roared the motor.

 

“Come on, hope on.”

 

“Urghhhh Oliver Queen I swear to God if I die I’ll come back to haunt you for the rest of your life.”

 

He chuckled and boy that sound could make her melt in a second.

 

_Get it together!_

 

“Hold on to me tight”

 

They both laughed out loud remembering their elevator moment.

 

_Still not how I imagined you saying this._

 

She suddenly felt his tense and ..

 

_Oh my god please kill me now! What the hell is wrong with me??_

 

She shut her eyes tight and took a breath.

 

_Come on girl it’s a 10 min ride, you can do it!_

 

“Alright you ready?”

 

“Yep, let’s just get this over with, and if I puke all over you, you’ll only have yourself to blame.”

 

He laughed .

 

“Let’s go!”

 

The first minute was soooooo awkward ‘cause she was not really holding him; with her head thrown back and her arms around his middle but her hand not touching him, and the men was tense as if he was feeling her reluctance.

 

Then she slowly relaxed, she put her head between his shoulders blades and really had her arms around him, holding on tight.

 

She instantly felt him relax, releasing a long breath which screamed relief, and she snuggled closer to him.

 

She closed her eyes, let the breeze hit her and listened to his heart beat.

It feels so good, so so good she wants to stay like this forever.

 

She felt the bike slowing down and looked, realizing that they already arrived at her apartment.

 

She hoped off the bike and tried to take of the helmet but struggled cause some of her hair tangled and prevented her from taking it off.

 

“Here, let me help you.”

 

His fingers caressed her cheeks, he was so gentle and his calloused fingers sending direct thrills to her body. He brushed her away from her face.

 

“There you go.”

 

“Thanks for that and for the ride. Night.”

 

_Come on come get your ass inside as soon as possible ‘cause if.._

 

“Felicity wait!”

 

_Oh god! Why?!_

 

“Yeah? What is it?”

 

_Just keep your cool._

 

“I Just wanted to talk to you. Things have been strained between us lately and I hate it … and I know that it’s my fault but please forgive me cause I just cannot function right without you. I don’t know why you left and I hope that someday you’ll have enough trust in me to tell me but, Felicity I was a walking mess the entire time you were gone. I hope that you’ll find it in you to forgive me, you’re one of the most important people in the world to me.”

 

_OKAY…OKAY…NO NOT OKAY …. OH GOD_

 

“Oliver…”

 

“Please… I just miss you, I miss my best friend.”

 

_Best friend? Of course that’s all I am to him._

 

It’s like someone threw a bucket of cold water on her. A second ago she was emotional and on the verge of tears, ready to tell him everything and finally getting these three little out of her mouth but now all her walls were back up, tall and indestructible. That is all she is to him, his sidekick, girl Wednesday “best fucking friend” right? When the hell is she going to understand that?

 

_When is he gonna stop hurting me?_

 

She had the confirmation she’s been waiting for and it was damn time to just accept things as they are. They are friends and that is it.

So, surprisingly, is was with honesty and no hard feeling that she took his hand and answered.

 

“I’ll always be there to support you and to help you Oliver, don’t ever worry about that. Our Friendship has known ups and downs but that’s normal, it happens in every friendship. I had to leave but it had nothing to do with you, it was about me. You know that I’ll always be there for you and Diggle, no matter what.”

 

His eyes were shining with tears.

 

_No I’m not gonna cry._

 

“I feel like I never really thank you for what you’ve done for me and with me. I wouldn’t be able to do it without you.”

 

“Of course you would, you started without me and you were doing just fine.”

 

“No, I was darkness and I was prepared to die every time I put that hood on, but you changed things, whether you want to admit it or not.”

 

_I’m not gonna cry._

 

This mantra is what keeps her from falling apart right now in front of him. The realization of what he feels for her; the guy clearly told her that he only saw her a his friend, hurts a whole damn much. But she needed to hear it from him in order to move on.

 

She remembers what her mother used to tell every time she’d be heartbroken, or sad for whatever reason; “but baby sometimes the hurt is for the better, you have to move on it’s now or never.”

 

She smiles lightly at that memory.

 

Things are gonna be fine. Her mother says so.

 

“Well if you say so… I’m happy we cleared the air. Thank you for the ride.”

 

“I’m happy too that we’re ok.”

 

“Yeah we’re ok.”

 

_Now go and let me go eat the pain away with ice cream please._

 

“There something I wanted to ask you… you remember the invite I got about the opening of the new orphanage in Central City?”

 

_Oh GOD !!!!_

 

She nodded, unable to speak.

 

“Would you like to come with me? ”

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo??  
> What do you think?
> 
> Let me know what you think will happen or what you'd like to happen.
> 
> Next chapter is a BIG ONE !!!!!
> 
> Comment and kudos ;)
> 
> Sophia


	6. What now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HIIIIIII GUYSSS !! So happy to be back ! Sorry it took so long but all my work go delete and I was very pissed and discouraged to write it all again but- here's the new chapter and I Hope you'll love it. It's a really important one and it'll define the direction of where the story's going.
> 
> It's a long one so get you snack and enjoy!

Previously on It's all about the choice you make:

 

“Would you like to come with me?”

 

Oliver’s sure he’s never been more nervous in his entire life, as soon as the words were out of his mouth, he took a breath deep and held it.

 

He desperately wants her to say yes, to say that she’ll go with him but he honestly doesn’t know if she’ll agree. A month ago? He’s ready to bet with his life that she would have said yes instantly but now, he doesn’t know and it makes him really uncomfortable and a bit scared.

 

He watches her having her own internal debate in her head and he cannot help but thinking about the motorcycle ride they just shared.

 

If he closes his eyes and concentrates he can perfectly feel the curves of her body around his. He wants to cry at the perfection of the moment, at the way she completely trusted him and let herself go and enjoy the ride.

 

He knew that she was afraid of motorcycles and that she wouldn’t want to ride with him so he was rather nervous, he really wanted her to agree and ride with him and let’s not fool ourselves he wouldn’t have taken no for an answer. He can be very persuasive when he puts his mind to it Of course they could’ve taken a cab but he played his card right and she eventually agreed. He needed this little moment suspended in time where there was no hurt feelings, no sad eyes, no harsh looks and no broken trust.

 

He just wanted it to be Oliver and Felicity. Together.

 

He needed to see that no matter what, she still trusts him, that she still relies on him, that she would put her life in his hands without hesitation.

 

Let’s be honest, it had been really awkward at the beginning and he regretted his decision the second she hopped on the bike, not because of the way SHE was tense and nervous but because did not know if HE would survive having her this close to him and still keep his composure. 

 

After a minute, he felt her relax and enjoy the ride and THAT is when he really regretted his decision of taking his bike… The way her thighs enveloped his; how she had her arms tightly secured around his stomach with her hands in his pockets touching his abs, the weight of her head between his shoulder blades… his was in a bubble of her sent and Lord… she doesn’t even have the slightest clue of the effect she has on him. 

 

It was a painfully delicious moment. The desire to close his eyes and just feel the moment almost took over a couple of times. He drove slower than he usually does and he took a few extra turns to extend their ride but as we say, every good thing has its end. So it is with an extremely heavy heart that he parked in front of her building and helped her out of the bike.

 

When she struggled with the helmet he offered his help and he internally groaned when his fingers brushed her cheeks and her hair. 

 

He knew their little moment was over when he saw her fidgeting her fingers and being rather quick in her goodbyes. He couldn’t stand it anymore; he had to talk to her.

 

He doesn’t know if he wants to cry or laugh when she agrees with him and tells him that she’s his best friend, I mean she said that she’d do the same for Dig. Come On! 

 

He knows where he stands; he is completely and utterly in love with her. He loves her like he has never loved anyone before. The intensity and the immensity of his feelings for her made him realize that he never loved anyone before; he never knew what being in love meant until her. Laurel, Sara, Helena, Mc Kenna and all the other hundred women he dated before don’t even stand a chance against Felicity. He cared very much about some of them especially Laurel, but it’s the Idea of her and the Idea of their couple that he loved, not her you do not cheat and you do not treat a woman you are supposed to love the way he did.

 

So he fully and completely knows where he stands regarding to his feelings towards Felicity, The thing is he doesn’t know where she stands or he thought he knew but not anymore.

 

He wanted to pour his heart out, to tell her everything he kept inside of him for the past year, he was so close to do it but then he realized that she wasn’t ready to hear it so he stopped himself and went with ‘you’re my best friend’ instead. He wanted to get a reaction out of her to see past this wall she built around her; he wanted her to get angry, to yell or to laugh, anything for as long as it is what she truly feels. But no, as she has been doing lately, she quickly masked all of her emotions and feelings, putting them behind this giant wall of hers.

 

 

A quick wave of emotion washed over her face but he’s not sure what it really was… he thinks he saw hope, hurt but also relief… he doesn’t understand.

 

But then she takes his hands in hers and all he can do is feel the moment, he wants to close his eyes and stay like this forever.

 

He gathers enough courage to ask her the question he been wanting to ask her for the past weeks.

 

“There’s something I wanted to ask you… you remember the invite I got about the opening of the new orphanage in Central City? Would you like to come with me?”

 

He held his breath and waited, waited and waited for what felt like hours. Never in his entire life has he been this nervous or scared to get a rejection. He wants her to say yes so bad it hurts.

 

 

She did not have to say it for him to understand that her answer is no. Her eyes speak for her. 

He clearly saw every single thought that crossed her face; she was at first caught off guard and surprised, then she was confused but then she made her decision and he knows for sure what it is going to be.

 

 

“Well… I’ll probably see you there but .. no .. I can’t go with you.

 

_What?_

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I’m going with Ray. He already asked me to go with him and I said yes.”

 

_Of Fu cking course!_

 

He didn’t see this one coming, God he wants to destroy him. He honestly thought that Ray Palmer was just a little distraction and that we would be gone just as soon as he arrived but… the guy is clearly here to stay.

 

Her rejection really really hurts and he knows that he must look like a kicked puppy right now, with is head bowed down looking at the floor, but he cannot bring himself to care about that.

 

She senses his emotional state and tries to lighten the mood.

 

She laughs a bit and he loves her all the more for trying to make him feel better 

 

“ God .. why did I agree ?! I can see the disaster coming…”

 

He doesn’t answer so she keeps talking.

 

“I mean come on Oliver you know me! I’m gonna make a fool of myself and I’ll end up embarrassing Ray… God I didn’t even think about that. Oh God.. I have to cancel..”

 

He wants to cry, she doesn’t realize that her talking about that breaks his heart.

 

“Don’t be ridiculous Felicity.”

 

“Ridiculous? Oliver I’m gonna babble inappropriate things till no end, plus I’m probably gonna have some dinks and if you add alcohol plus high heels plus tight dress plus my clumsiness .. Oh God”.

 

Ok now she’s talking about tight dress and high heels.

 

_Kill Me Now._

 

“Stop worrying like that, you’ll be perfect.”

 

The gravity of his tone has her looking straight into his eyes.

 

“Yeah not so sure about that, well we’ll see and it’s not a big deal I guess I’ll just change my identity and move to I don’t know Pakistan if the damages are unfixable.”

 

It was meant to be a jock but he had a tiny heart attack at the picture she just painted.

 

“You should ask Thea, she’s been talking nonstop about this gala, she really wants to go.”

 

_Thea? Since when does she talk to Thea? What the hell?_

 

He’s sure he looks like an idiot with his mouth hanging open and he eyes about to pop out.

 

She probably takes it the wrong way cause she makes a face and shakes her head.

 

“I’m sorry for assuming that you’d bring her… I didn’t… I mean I’m sure you’d prefer going with Sara.. or … Laurel… I …. I’m gonna …go. Thanks and goodnight.”

 

_Sara? Laurel? IS she being serious?_

 

He sees her growing read a counting backwards in her head, cursing herself.

 

God he loves that woman.

 

She waves her hand awkwardly and turns to go.

 

There’s the one question he wants to ask her but he scared, so so scared of her answer.

Her answer has the power to destroy him but he has to stop being scared and man up.

 

She’s pushing the door open, ready to enter her building when he decides that he has to stop being afraid and ask his god damn question.

 

“Felicity?”

 

She turns back around but she looks like the simple fact of extending her time with him is physically painful. 

 

“Yeah?”

 

He opens his mouth but no words come out.

 

“What is it Oliver?”

 

_Come on Man speak!_

 

“Can I ask you a question?”

 

She’s obviously nervous, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth….

 

_Seriously???_

 

“I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me.”

 

Ok now she really is nervous and boy so is he.

 

“Yeah… of course.”

 

“If I would’ve asked you before Ray, what would you have said? 

 

“Oliver…”

 

“Would you have said yes Felicity?”

 

Her eyes are shining with unshed tears; he sees her struggling trying to keep them from falling.

 

“No Oliver, even if you would have asked me first, I still would’ve said no…”

 

It is like she stabbed him with a sword through his heart, took it out and then stabbed him all over again.

 

“Oh….”

 

It’s all he manages to respond

 

“Why? Why don’t you want to go with me?”

 

He knows that he sounds like a little boy wining about not getting one of his toys but he needs to know WHY.

 

“Oliver… Ok… we need to be honest as you said… we need lines and boundaries. And we have to respect those boundaries and going with you to this Gala, would only blur them and I don’t want that to happen. And let’s face it, it maybe would’ve made sense for me to come with you when I was your EA but we don’t work each other anymore and to the outside world I’m Nothing to you… Nothing” 

 

_You’re everything…_

 

“Come on Oliver it’s not like you just found that out..”

He is speechless; he really has no idea what to say or what to think for that matter.

 

“That’s what you really think? That we’re nothing to each other?”

 

He is getting angry and he knows he has to leave before he lashes out on her and say some things he for sure is going to regret later.

 

“Of course not Oliver we’re not ‘nothing’ we’re friends and I’m your crime fighting partner this will never change. But this is not how the outside world sees our relation and I don’t want to bring focus on it because it might bring attention to what we do at night..”

 

He wants to laugh at the situation; she breaking his heart but at the same time still managing to make him want to laugh.

 

_God I That Woman_

 

“Not that kind of thing of course.. oh you know what I mean!!”

 

He just stares at her and nod.

 

“Well I guess I’ll see you this weekend at the gala with … whoever comes with you. Ooookay ! Night Oliver.”

 

“Night Felicity”

 

She watches her go until she’s out of his sight, he still waits for the light in her apartment to turn on. Once he sees some light in her apartment, he still stands in front of her building, frozen.

 

_What the hell just happened?_

 

 

He rewinds his conversation with Felicity over and over in his head and he doesn’t know what to do. It’s either he fights for her or he lets her go. 

 

He is lost in thoughts, dreaming about what it would be like to come home every night together; she would toss her heels and complain about her sore feet and he would of course massage them, they would make diner, laugh and tease each other, then they’d cuddle on the couch watching TV and then have lots and lots of sex; then in the morning he would get to wake up with her in his arms, her blond hair shining, naked with the shits barely covering her but she would never feel shy or unsecure in front of him. He dreams about a domestic life, which never happened before; she’s the only women who brings this craving from him; God he craves a domestic happy life. He wants the wife and kids; his son’s football game and her daughter dance’s class, he wants the noisy neighbours and lazy family Sundays… God he wants it all. 

 

He’s still daydreaming when his phone vibrates in his pocket.

 

_**Felicity Smoke:** _

 

_**Go home you creeper!** _

 

He looks up and sees her already looking at him, waving him goodbye at her large glass window, she in her pyjamas, hair in a messy top not.

 

 

_GOD!_

 

He doesn’t even reply to her cause he just doesn’t have the strength.

It’s almost on autopilot that he goes back to the foundry, he needs to blow of some steam and stop torturing himself with these thoughts for a bit.

 

 

 

It’s with shaking hands that Felicity opens the door of apartment.

She still has trouble processing what just happened. She’s emotionally drained and she feels like she wants to fall apart and cry but she doesn’t cry, she’s strong and she will not cry.

She had a hell of a day between what happened with Ray and the reporters, going back to the Foundry (not throwing up when seeing the pilar  _urghk!)_ working with Oliver and then the ride back to her apartment with him.

 

_Damn!_

 

It’s will be from now on her favourite shared moment with Oliver for many reason but mainly because they were just being them, quite, holding onto each other. She allowed herself for a moment to enjoy it, to completely trust him. It was a sort silent agreement between the two of them, for this short amount of time, they were one.

 

 

She really can’t stop thinking about the last hour and everything that happened and really needs to talk about it to someone. She puts her pyjamas on and goes to close the curtains on her living room and she spots Oliver, still standing where she left him, she puts her forehead against the window, her heart clenching, she takes him and wishes things could be different. This situation clearly affects the both of them but she doesn’t know what to do to make it better; and she’s afraid to get to the conclusion that things will never the way they used to be between them; easy

 

She takes her phone and sends him a text. They briefly looked at each other but he left without answering or acknowledging her.

 

_What the hell is wrong with him?_

 

It’s really confused that she dials Kiera’s number.

 

 

“Hi sis !! how you doin?”

 

“Hey K, I’m good yeah I …. No I’m not K I don’t know what I’m doing with my life lately I feel I’m trapped and I can’t find any solution”

 

She’s now sobbing, she can’t stop the tears she’s been holding all day from falling.

 

“Ok honey slow down and start from the beginning please. What happened?”

 

She tried to pull herself together and explained what happened today with Ray and with Oliver.

 

“K I just don’t get it… why would he tell me that he misses me as his best friend then ask me to go with him and when I say no he looked as if I told him that he had a terminal stage cancer? I was so close to tell him every single thing, that I saw him with Sara and that it’s the reason why I left. Keira I wanted to tell him that I love him I was so close to do it but then the asshole tells me I’m his best friend. It doesn’t make any sense to me.”

 

 

 

 

“All right honey here’s what I thought and what you’re gonna do ok? I think the guy clearly loves you and seeing you trying to move with Ray messes up his head and I thinks that he’s just as lost as you are but that’s his problem not yours. You- are going to go with Ray and you’ll look stunning and you’ll make every jaw drop especially his, he needs to see what he is missing out on. But sis I think that after the gala you will really have to make a definite decision about this situation cause you can’t keep going like that… it’s hurting you too much..”

 

“I know… well enough but my terrible love life … how’s my little princess doing? God I miss you guys!”

 

“She great’s, loving school and her James her little fiancé. She asks about you a lot!”

 

They kept talking for another hour and fell asleep.

 

 

 

When Oliver got to the foundry he found Sara training and wished he could escape without her noticing but he knew better... she probably heard him even before he opened the door. So he had no other choice than to face her.

 

“Hi Ollie”

 

He really hates that nickname.

 

“Hey”

 

“Wanna train?”

 

“No I’m good thanks.”

 

“Oh Ok.. You alight?”

 

“Yes great.”

 

“Where were you?”

 

_What is it with her interrogation?_

 

“I dropped Felicity at her place.”

 

“Of course … Felicity.. Do you realize that you always seem to be pissed or sad around her? Ask yourself the right question Ollie. She has a bad influence on you … her being with Ray is actually a good thing”

 

Ok now he is really pissed and too tired to hold back. 

 

“What the fuck are you talking about? Stop saying shit and comparing my relationship with her with what we have which is nothing by the way. Ok we **were** something and ok we had sex but that’s it Sara and I thought we were on the same page. We had sex. Period.”

 

“Jeez Ollie calm down… You don’t need to be mean cause I’m talking about your little Felicity. And I know that we’re just friend no need to say it ok! It was just sex for me too.”

 

“I’m sorry I’m just tired.”

 

“It’s ok. So now that it’s clear that we’re friends, are you gonna ask me to go with you to the Gala? You never mentioned it.”

 

He’s too tired for this shit right now and he knows that Sara’s game isn’t clear, she has something cooking and he doesn’t like it.

 

“What do you mean Sara?”

 

“I mean that it’s the social even of the year and I really would like to go and since Felicity is going with Ray maybe I can be your plus one.”

 

What is it with her obsession with him and Felicity lately? And does she even know that Felicity is going with this asshole?

 

“Sara ..I don’t know if it’s a good idea.. and how do you know who’s Felicity going with? I found out like 20 minutes ago?”

 

“I heard her and Diggle talking about it. Why not Ollie? You have to bring someone and I’d like to go. Just as your plus one. I swear nothing more.”

 

He just wants this conversation to be over.

 

“We’re getting separate room at the hotel for the night. Tomorrow I’ll send you the flight information.”

 

“Thank you thank you Ollie!! I’ll be ready! Well I’m off to the shower and then home”.

 

“Kay. Goodnight.”

 

He saw a flash of hurt passing through her face but he didn’t have the strength to care about that, not after what happened with Felicity.

 

Sara picked her bag and went to the bathroom.

 

He sat in Felicity’s chair, closed his eyes and released and long breath.

 

_God what the fuck is happening?_

 

He hopes that after the Gala he’ll be able to talk to her and make things right because He won’t be able to last long in this situation.

He doesn’t know how she’s going to react when she’ll see Sara. He doesn’t have the time to think about that right now cause he has to leave before Sara comes out of the shower, and well he’s sure he’ll have a long sleepless night ahead of him to think about it so…

 

He climbs the stairs and prays that things will be ok for them.

 

 

 

 

Felicity is awakened by someone BANGING at her door.

 

_WHO THE HELL IS IT?_

 

“Come on Smoak open the door! I know you’re in there! We have so much to do today so get your gorgeous ass out of your bed and get the fuck up.”

 

Felicity wants to laugh and cry at the same time; when can she have a break from the Queen family huh? Well never it seems.

 

“OH MY GOD THEA GET THE HELL OUT”

 

Suddenly she heard laughter in her kitchen and got up so fast she tripped and hit her toes against her night stand.

 

_Ouccchhhhh !!!!_

 

She runs to her kitchen and comes to face with Thea making coffee.

 

“I never should have giving you a key, what the hell was I thinking?”

 

Thea was smiling and Felicity has to admit that one of the things she loves the most about the younger Queen is that she is a breath of fresh air; always smiling, and it feels good.

 

“You were thinking that you loved me duh???”

 

They both chuckled.

 

“No, I gave it to you in case of emergency THEA:”

 

“But Fe it is a major case of emergency here! We only have one day to find ourselves dresses, shoes, purses, lingerie, make up and find some time to eat as well. It is like one of the biggest challenge and I love it. So you go get ready, you have 10 minutes and then we’re out the door! Ok? OK!”

 

_WHAT?_

 

“Wo wo Thea slow down! What are you talking about? You’re going to the Gala?”

 

“Of course I’m going you crazy? I would not miss it especially cause I have to start my ‘Get Smoak and dumbass brother together’ plan.”

 

_Oh my god_

 

“Thea we talked about it a hundred times your brot..”

 

“Yeah yeah I know you’re just friends bla bla bla… well I don’t believe this crap ok, you guys are perfect for each other.

 

“Thea please!”

 

“Ok I drop it .. “ she turned but Felicity didn’t miss the “for now” she whispered.

 

_Urgghhh!!!_

 

“I didn’t even know you were going to this Gala.”

 

“You crazy of course I’m going”

 

“Great I’m so happy you’re going. You’ll be there to stop me from embarrassing myself.”

 

“Come on you’ll be amazing.”

 

Felicity poured herself some coffee and the liquid felt like heaven.

 

“And hum…. Who are you going with?”

 

She held her breath.

 

“With Roy who else?”

 

_Oh…_

 

“Yeah of course silly me!”

 

She couldn’t stop the sinking feeling in her stomach… she knew that he could not show up by himself and if he didn’t ask Thea then he’ll ask someone else. 

 

She puts that thought aside and goes to her bedroom to get ready.

 

 

It is after 5 long hours of shopping, then final sat down to get something to eat, and boy her feet were killing her. They got everything they needed.

 

“It’s the first time I am more excited about someone else’s dress than mine. I CAN’T WAIT for everyone to see you in it, they’re gonna die!!!”

 

“I don’t know … It’s not really what I’m used to wear.”

 

“Exactly… Fe you don’t even have the tiniest clue about how beautiful and sexy you are. This dress was made for you… and the fact that you have to go braless is just the cherry on top of the cake!”

 

Felicity rolled her eyes but went to take Thea’s hand in hers.

 

“Thank you T.Queen! I love you!”

 

“Love you too. I feel like I never really thanked you for everything you’ve done for me, I know with every fibbers- of my being that if it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be where I am today so Thank you..”

 

Felicity was on the verge of tears.

 

“Oh Thea.. You never have to thank me. I’m so glad that you came across my way and stuck with me despite my craziness.”

 

They hugged each other for a long moment.

 

“Okay enough emotions for today… let’s eat cause we still have to go to the beautician to get a wax and some facials.”

 

Thea Queen never gets tired and Felicity knows that at this point she shouldn’t even try to argue with her.

 

 

“Alright, let’s eat then.”

 

 

Felicity got home that night and was exhausted. She forgot how hard it was to keep up with Thea during shopping, and boy was she tired.

 

She checked her phone and saw a text from Ray, asking how she was and telling her that he’ll pick he up tomorrow at 2pm.

 

She took a long warm bath then she prepared her suitcase and went to sleep. She fell asleep with this strange feeling when you’re at the same time excited but dreadful about something. So yes she is looking forward to tomorrow but at the same time she’s a bit scared.

 

Will see how this goes!

 

 

** 

She arrived at her hotel room around 4 pm. She was extremely nervous and when Ray asked if she wanted to walk around the city for a bit she gently tuned him down saying that she was feeling tired and wanted to rest before tonight.

 

Ray was as usual nothing but sweet, caring and tried to make he feel comfortable; she really likes Ray and what she likes the most about him is how he has no idea how handsome and how good of a catch he is; he seems unsure of himself which makes her inside melt. Oliver is always so sure of himself and confident that it makes everyone around him uneasy and uncomfortable. 

 

And here she is comparing Ray and Oliver.

 

_No Girl not doing that!!_

 

 

After a nap and a shower she checked the time and saw that she had an hour and a half to get ready which was more than enough time. She put some music on and started with her hair, she blow-dried it which took forever. She wanted something elegant, feminine but at the same time a bit natural so she opted for some loose curl and pined them in a chic romantic low up do with some strands falling around her face. A final touch of hairspray and she was done. She really loves how it turned out. 

 

She was applying her make up when she heard a knock at her door, afraid that it was already Ray she checked the time saw that she still has half an hour so who can it be.

 

She tightened her robe and went to open the room.

 

It was a delivery man with a huge arrangement of roses which probably weights more than her.

 

“For you Miss.”

 

“Oh thank you.”

 

She tipped the boy and closed the door.

 

_Oh Ray!!!_

 

She put the roses in some water and finished and went the bathroom to finish her make up.

 

Her hair was done, her makeup was applied, shoes and dress were on and on a scale of one to ten about how nervous she is … yeah fifteen seems right. 

 

_I need a drink ASAP!_

 

She was headed to the mini bar when she heard another knock at the door. If it’s Ray he’s a bit early but it’s fine cause she’s ready. She looks at herself in the mirror and man she barely doesn’t recognize herself. She looks HOT and she has to admit that she feels beautiful. With a boost of confidence she opened the door.

 

“For you miss.”

 

It was the same boy with the flowers but this time holding what seems to be a jewellery box. 

 

_OH???!!!_

 

Once the door was closed she opened the box and almost fell and she saw what was inside. She is sure she is not even supposed to look at it. It was one of the most beautiful thing she’s ever seen.

 

In the box is a diamond necklace with deep green emerald stones. It took her breath away.

 

She put in on and looked at herself.

 

_OH MY FREACKING GOD!!!_

 

It's looks so beautiful, so poised and elegant, she stunned by how it changes her whole look.

 

Her phone ringed with a text from Ray.

 

**I’ll meet you downstairs in front of the ball room doors, I’m stuck with an important investor.**

**See you in a minute.**

 

It was actually great cause it gave her more time to compose herself and get that damn drink.

 

She grabbed her purse and was out the door.

 

The walk to the front doors of the ball room was weird cause every single person stared at her.

 

_Okay okay .. You can do this!_

 

She Spotted Ray and when he saw her, his eyes opened wide and his mouth hung open.

 

Well…

 

“ I … I .. Fe…I ..”

“Hi Ray, you look very handsome”

“I don’t even have the words Felicity, you are stunning, wow you’re very beautiful.”

 

She’s sure she’s blushing from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.

 

“Oh thank you Ray. Shall we go?”

“Yes let’s go.”

 

_Oh God please don’t make me fall. Pretty please!!_

 

The doorman opens the door and she is stunned by of beautiful the room looks; chandeliers, curtains, paintings, vases, candles. It is all there.

 

Of course there are about fifteen stairs to go down.

 

They are standing on top of the stairs and she can feel literally everyone in the room looking at them. There are about five hundred people there but the first pair of eyes she connects with is his.

 

_LORD HELP ME._

 

***

 

“What is it with your fingers big bro? Why are you so nervous? Someone you’re looking for maybe?”

 

He doesn’t realize till she tells him. He stops but man he feels like throwing up. She still hasn’t arrived and knowing that she’ll be at Palmer’s arm… he has to keep calm or god help him..! 

 

“No Thea I’m fine thanks for your eternal concern.”

 

“Just checking. You have a pretty girl on your arm, go mingle and enjoy the night.”

 

“Yes Sara she’s right, let’s go get a drink and I’ll introduce you to some people.”

 

A glass of champagne in his hand later, he is talking to a friend of his parents when he feels it.

It is like physics or biology or whatever crap but he feels her. He knows that she is here without even looking. It was like a sparkle at the base of his spine, telling him SHE IS HERE. It is crazy but he doesn’t have to see her to know that she is in the same vicinity as him. He turns around fast, not bothering about Sara or the people he is talking to.

 

Their eyes instantly connect.

 

_GOD!_

 

Is he spinning?

 

What is air? 

 

He can’t’ even blink. 

 

He is frozen. 

 

He has never ever in his entire life seen someone so beautiful and perfectly perfect. She is the only one who takes his breath away like this. How can someone be this beautiful?

His hear is heart beating so damn fast.

She is wearing a black dress with a plunging neckline. Her perfect round breast on perfect display, leaving little place to imagination. He is used to seeing her in color, she never wears black. But Felicity in this black is a vision, the purest definition of sin. The dress is daring and powerfull. The slit shows her tone long perfect legs and the silver high stilettos she’s wearing.

 

He can’t even swallow. There’s too much skin showing that he wants to touch to kiss to lick and to cherish that his brain goes blank.

 

He is just shocked by her beauty.

 

Has her eyes always been this big and this blue? Her plump lips are painted a deep bloody red, and he wants nothing more than to kiss those lips till the lipstick comes off.

 

_MY GOD!_

 

Every single thing about her tonight is stunning, her hair her face her dress her heels; and he doesn’t even have the right words to conveys how he feels.

 

However, there is one thing he didn’t mentally prepare himself for; seeing her wearing his mother’s necklace took him to another galaxy. This is it. You can drop the mic right there. This is where it belongs.

A wave of emotions took over him and he felt some tears gathering in his eyes. It triggered a reaction out of him and he quickly blinked them away. He tried to get out of this zone where it is just the just of them in the room; he could hear Sara talking to him and pulling at his arms but it is like he dreams it and doesn’t care.

 

 

 

                                                                                                             

 

 

 

                                                                                                          

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                       

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                       

 

 

 

 

 

Felicity is the first to break their eyes contact by accepting Ray’s hand to descend the stairs.

 

_Damn!_

 

The Slit rides very high when she walks down the stair. He can actually feel some part of his body being quite responsive to how gorgeous she is so in order to not embarrass himself he has gather his thoughts.

 

He excuses himself and walks to the bar to get something else, he needs hard liquid. He is at the bar when Thea and Sara approach him. He sees the moment they both notice Felicity.

 

“Is that .. is that … Fe .. Felicity???”

 

Sara can’t contain her shock because she is shocked like crazy. Of course she is.

 

Thea whistles two long times and adds:

 

“Daaaaaaaaaammmmmmnnn!!! This is some serious business right here! Smoak is Smoaaakinnnng HOT! I literally want to bow down in front of her.”

 

Oliver’s face is confusing; he looks constipated with a hint of pride and a smirk. The weirdest face ever. Is it crazy that he feels some kind of pride seeing her like this?

 

_What the fuck is wrong with me?_

 

 

She doesn’t belong to him and she is not his to brag and show off with. No this is Ray Palmer’s job for the night. He’s the one who gets to have the most beautiful creature at his arm for the night.

 

 

Sara looks confused.

 

“You know Felicity?”

 

“Know her? She’s like the perfect mix between my big sis and a best friend. I love her to death.”

 

_WHAT?_

_WHAT???_

 

Oliver is sure his earing is playing with him cause there is just no way he heard what he just heard.

 

_Thea and Felicity? When did that happen?_

 

He sees Felicity pointing at them and her and Ray making their way towards them.

 

_God help me!_

 

Thea grabs Oliver’s arm tightly she looks at him with wide confused eyes and whispers:

 

“Ollie? It that ….? Mom’s…”

 

She looks at him with so many questions, and he can tell how emotional she is. She grabs his hand and squeezes it hard. They don’t need words to talk. She understands it all. She smiles through eyes teary eyes and whispers something just for him in his ear.

 

_God don’t cry._

 

He sees a different side of Thea right there, a more mature and full of kindness Thea and God what he wouldn’t do for her. He would do anything for her.

 

He kisses her hand just when Felicity and Ray approach them.

 

Thea jumps in Felicity’s arms and they both laugh and hold each other.

 

_OH-MY-GOD._

 

Seeing the two women he loves the most like this; opens up another door in his heart he didn’t even know about. He feels so much love right now. He guesses it is the same feeling as when you win the lottery and are the happiest person on earth; because this right here, is the the cure to many of his unresolved problems.

 

She looks at him and he swallows HARD. He knows he is staring at her but he can’t help it.

 

“Hi Oliver how are you?”

 

They semi-hug and it’s a bit weird but he touches her so it is perfect for him. He puts his hand on her back and feels nothing but soft skin. He internally groans.

 

_Plunging neckline – slit- and no back- you can as well kill me now Felicity it’s the same!_

 

He clears his throat when she lets go of him.

 

_Come on speak you coward!_

 

But he is too focused on NOT looking at her breast and it is really hard.

 

“I’m good thanks. You look astonishing Felicity”.

 

“Thanks.”

 

“God Felicity you’re dead gorgeous!! I knew I chose the right dress for you look at you, the hottest woman in the room.”

 

He sees Sara frowning.

 

“Oh you shopped together?”

 

Felicity doesn’t look at Sara she doesn’t even acknowledge her and that’s weird; she’s looking at Thea when she answers. He takes that opportunity and really looks at her.

 

WOW!

 

She is beauty incarnated, and her outfit is … well it really leaves no place to imagination. He memorizes every single detail about her.

 

“Yeah well she broke into my house and…”

 

“Well I used my key so I didn’t really break in…” Felicity gives her a look “what it’s true!! Anyway we went shopping all day and found this beauty right there and I have to say you’re beautiful.”

 

_WHAT THE FUCK??? THEA HAS A KEY TO FELICITY’S PLACE?!!_

 

He’s going crazy!

 

Thea and Felicity are holding hands, and he’s sure that’s this image will stick with him forever.

 

“Thanks T.Queen you stunning as well.”

 

Ray clears his throat.

 

_Fuck I forgot about this asshole._

 

“Oh I’m so sorry! What happened to my manners! Ray Palmer, this is Oliver Queen, this - is Thea Queen Oliver’s sister and this is Sara Lance Oliver’s…

 

He sees her struggling to find a word to qualify Sara’s link to him. Well he’ll do it for her.

 

“..Friend. She’s my friend.”

 

Felicity mouths an “OH”.

 

“It’s very nice to meet you all.”

 

Ray puts his hand around Felicity and Oliver has to hold his glass tighter.

 

_Don’t fuck the night up!_

 

Ray leaned onto Felicity and spoke softly.

 

“There are some people I’d like you to meet…”

 

She looked up at him and smiled that beautiful smile of hers and the clenching feeling in his stomach was inevitable.

 

“Oh Okay We’ll see you guys later.. “

 

“You save me a dance or you’re in trouble”

 

Felicity smiled wide at Thea’s comment.

 

“Duh you’re in top of my list!”

 

“MA GIRL!!!”.

 

It was still shocking for him to witness the friendship between his two girls ( _HIS?? Calm down loverboy)_ but he loves seeing them so close and at ease with each other; they’re obviously very very close. He needs to know the story behind this.

 

Ray and Felicity walked away and Oliver finally saw the back of her dress or the lack of really and fuck he feels his cock hardening just by looking at her. That Woman! She’s driving him insane.

 

 

He mingled with Sara for about an hour and a half but he never lets Felicity out of his sight so he witnessed all the attention she received from Ray and about all the other men in there as well.

 

He sees Ray dragging her to dance despite her protests.

She says something and they both laugh out loud.

 

_Okay I need a drink!_

 

 

“Thank you for everything Ray, I mean it. Thanks for the gorgeous Flowers and this breathtaking necklace which I’ll give back to you as soon as we’re out cause this costs like ten million dollars and I’m freaking out a bit.”

 

“Oh you’re welcome but Felicity the necklace doesn’t come from me and I think that it costs more than ten millions.”

 

“It doesn’t? Oh? Oh!”

 

They both figure out who the necklace is coming from and both look at him.

 

*****

 

Oliver heads to the bar to get something to drink

 

He watches them dance, swaying in synch to the rhythm of the song; he is so fucking jealous and he doesn’t even hide it.

 

At some point, Ray leans down onto her and whispers something in her ear, and then he brushes a strand of hair away from her and face and caresses her cheek. She blushes a deep crimson red that goes down to her chest.

 

He feels like he is out of line starring at them having an intimate moment.

He squeezes his glass really hard but he doesn’t realize it until the glass breaks in his hand.

 

_Fuck fuck fuck!!!_

 

He’s wiping himself when he feels her walking towards him. All of the sudden she’s here, his hands in hers, she brings one her hand to his cheek and she’s almost panicking asking what happened. He can only stare at her, he’s not able to talk.

 

“Oliver? What happened? You sure you’re ok? You’re scaring me.”

 

She finally looks up at him and it takes his breath away; it’s just them in the room.

 

“Dance with me.”

 

He doesn’t know where he pulled this from but now that he did he really wants to dance with her.

 

“What? Oliver you just hurt yourself.”

 

“I’m fine. Dance with me.”

 

“I don’t know if it is a good idea. Besides, where’s Sara?”

 

_OUCH that hurts._

 

“It’s you I want to dance with. So Felicity, would you like to dance with me?”

 

“You don’t dance Oliver.”

 

He laughs cause she knows him so perfectly.

 

“With you I do.”

 

His heart his gonna come out of his chest.

 

“kay”.

 

_She agreed? God she agreed now do something!!!_

He puts his hand on her lower back and guides her to the dance floor.

They fit so perfectly together, they make one, it’s like they are the two missing pieces of a puzzle.

They are moving together, never looking away from each other.

 

The song changes and he feels her stiffen in his arm and …. Did she gasp? Maybe she knows the song.

 

He’s looking at her with so much intensity and when he hears the lyrics, he understands her reaction.

 

 

 

**When you hold me in the street and you kiss me on the dance floor**

**I wish that it could be like that, why can’t we be like that**

**Cause I’m yours**

 

 

 

**We keep behind closed doors**

**Every time I see you I die a little more**

**Stolen moments that we steal as the curtain falls**

**It’ll never be enough**

 

_Oh my god!_

 

**It’s obvious your meant for me**

**Every peace of you, it just fits perfectly**

**Every second every though I’m in so deep**

**But I’ll never show it on my face**

 

 

**But we know this**

**We got a love that is homeless**

 

 

 

He’s sure she can feel his heart beating just like he can feel hers.

 

 

**Why can’t you hold me in the street?**

**Why can’t you kiss me on the dance floor?**

**I wish that we could be like that why can’t we be like that?**

 

 

**Cause I’m yours**

**I’m yours**

 

 

She looks down but he is having none of that. He put his finger under her chin and makes her look at him .

 

 

**When you’re with him do you call his name,**

**like you do when you’re with me?**

**Does it feel the same?**

 

 

OH my god! The lyrics hit him so hard and he’s starting to get very emotional.

 

**Would you leave is I was ready to settle down?**

**Or would you play it safe and stay?**

 

 

Oh My GOD! Has this song been written for them?

 

 

**Why can’t you hold me in the street?**

**Why can’t you kiss me on the dance floor?**

**I wish that we could be like that why can’t we be like that?**

 

 

 

He is burning holes into Felicity he knows it but this intensity of this moment completely throws him of guard.

 

He sees tears gathering in her eyes.

 

_God help me!_

 

He can’t stand seeing her like this, so vulnerable and fragile, lost and scared.

 

She’s looking at him with tears ready to fall.

She is lip-syncing now and he’s sure that his heart stopped beating.

 

**Why can’t I say that I’m in love? I want to shout it from the roof-tops**

**I wish that we could be like that why can’t we be like that?**

**Cause I’m yours, I’m yours.**

 

 

His heart breaks when a tear rolls down her face. His heart literally breaks in two.

He holds her closer and wipes the tear away with his thumb.

 

“Feli.”

 

He didn’t get to finish his sentence cause Sara puts her hand on his shoulder and interrupts them .

 

_What the Fuck??_

 

“Ollie? Can I steal him from you Felicity for a minute?”

 

_What? NO!! NO!!_

 

Felicity steps away from him and he almost shivers at the loss of her warmth. She looks up at him with a sad smile with a huge hint of acceptance in it.

 

_What?_

 

“He’s all yours Sara. Goodnight you two.”

 

She looks like she wants to cry. He hates it.

 

He too stunned to act. He watches her wiping her face but instead of going back to Ray or whatever she is headed towards the exit. He watches her perfect figure climbing the stairs and leaving.

 

_The fuck?_

 

“Ollie?”

 

“WHAT SARA?!!”

 

“I have been by myself looking like a fool for the last half hour.”

 

“Yeah well you better go find yourself someone cause I’m out here.”

 

“What? Ollie? Hey Ollie!!”

 

She calls after him but he doesn’t give a fuck. He has to find Felicity.

 

He leaves the Gala as well and goes to the front reception and asks for Felicity’s room number.

 

He runs to her room and bangs on the door.

 

She is blowing her nose when she opens the door.

 

“Oliver what ar..”

 

“I love you.”

 

Damn it feels good to say it.

 

“I – am – in – love – with – you.”

 

Her mouth is hanging open but he is not finished yet.

 

“God Felicity I love you so much. You’re it for me. It's you, it was always you and it'll always be you.”

 

She turns around and walks into her room. He follows her and closes the door behind them.

 

“Oliver …. you … you can't … you don't get to say these things to me now .. you just..”

 

She puts her hand against her mouth and takes a second to take a breath. He has to say it all, he can't risk her any longer, there's too much at stake here.

 

“Felicity don't you see it? I'm the man I am today thanks to you, you make me want to be a better man. And I'm sorry I'm so so sorry for all the things I've put you through and for telling you so late but I was so scared Felicity. The immensity of the feelings I have for you .. it scares the crap out of me cause it never happened to me before, I never felt this.

I love you so fucking much it hurts. When you're away from me I can't function right, I'm constantly thinking about you. Seeing you with Palmer breaks me. Felicity, I can’t' even count the number of times I almost died, I've been really hurt, I've been tortured; but seeing you with Palmer is the one thing that could end me.”

 

It is like a weight of a lifetime fell of his shoulders.

He feels tears rolling down his face, reflecting the one rolling down hers. He closes the distance between them and cradles her face with his hands and wipes her tears away.

 

“I'm so sorry Felicity please believe me.”

 

He puts his forehead on hers and waits. He breathes her in.

 

“God Felicity I Love You so Much.”

 

She looks up at him and he's so scared that she's gonna run away from him but she put both of her hands on his cheeks and he can't help but close his eyes and savor the moment.

 

She moves her thumbs across his cheeks and he opens his eyes. He is met with her dark eyes, fill with lust and want.

 

_WHAT?_

 

They both whisper each other's names and their lips meet.

 

Time stops.

 

It's everything.

 

It's passion at its purest state.

 

She moans and he took the opportunity to tangle his tongue with hers. They're glued together; they're touching from head to toe.

 

He breaks the kiss and has her looking at him.

 

Her eyes are so dark with lust and her lipstick is all smudged.

 

He put his hand in her hair and pulled the pins off, letting her long soft shining hair cascade down her back and around her face.

 

He's mesmerized by her beauty.

 

“You're so beautiful.”

 

She put her arms around his neck and pulls him down in another kiss.

 

Their hands explore each other's body like they never did before. He can't believe he's touching her like this and feeling all of her body. He feels her hard nipple just as much as she feels his hard member pressed against her stomach.

 

He can't help his hips from rubbing and thrusting onto hers and the noises she making are sinful.

She takes off his jacket and works on the button of his shirt but she struggles and he helps her.

Her hands on his chest are burning him, every touch and every caress graved in his memory.

He goes down and attacks her neck and her breast.

 

_Oh my fucking lord her boobs are perfection!!_

 

He needs a bed like right now. He picks her up bridal style but they don't break the kiss. He puts her down when they enter the bedroom area, still kissing. She's working on his belt and he pulls at the slings of her dress, making it fall at her feet.

 

He picks her up again and she links her legs around him. He can feel all of her and god he's so hard.

He's grabbing and massaging her perfect ass and tossing his shoes off at the same time. He lays her down in the middle of the bed and he has to stop and take a second.

 

There she lay on the bed in front of him, in nothing but the sexiest black lace thong he's ever seen and the diamond emerald necklace.

He could come right there

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                 

He looks at her; he stares at her and takes all of her body in from her flat stomach to her round full breast, her perfect toned shapes legs and her angelic face. He takes screenshots of her like this in his head which will stay there for the rest of his life.

 

“God you're perfect.”

 

He moves on top of her and they just look at each other and have a conversation with their eyes. They don’t need words to understand each other and what they are saying is that they don’t know what the future holds for them but right now, they chose to have this moment for them, just them.

 

He kisses her mouth, then goes down and licks her neck and finally puts his mouth around her nipples. She moans and arches her back.

 

“God Oliver..”

 

He’s gonna come in two seconds if she keeps saying his name like that.

 

Her hands are roaming through his arms and back; she scratching his back and probably leaving marks and he loves it.

He kisses all her body, every kiss is an ‘I love you’, every caress and every touch means ‘I love you’. He is cherishing her body.

He kisses her stomach, her hip bones, the apex of her sex, her inner thighs, her tights, her calves her ankles; he kissed all of body and whispered ‘I love you’ between each kiss, but he avoided

where she needs him the most.

 

She is panting, a sound he’ll never get tired of hearing.

 

“God… Please Oliver.”

 

“God Felicity ..”

 

“Come here.”

 

He can only do what she asks, he’s at her mercy.

 

She attacks his lips with some much passion they both groan. He kisses her ears and his hand goes down to her breast.

 

“We still ..oh .. we still have to talk about this necklace.”

 

“There’s nothing to talk about Felicity, it’s yours.”

 

He doesn’t let her answer and kisses her again. He takes the necklace off of her and puts it on the nightstand.

 

Finally all of her neck is avaible to lick and kiss.

 

He massage her inner thighs, so close to where she needs him.

 

“Please Oh God please.”

 

Hearing her begging him to touch her is insane, like he can’t believe it is happening. It doesn’t take more than a second for him to put his hand in her panties.

 

“God you’re so wet, so so wet. I love you so damn much. “

 

He has to taste her he has to.

 

He brags his lips across her lower belly and the apex of her sex and pull her lacy underwere down her legs. He second he licks and tastes her he moans loudly.

 

“oh My God!!”

 

It’s like he finds water in a desert. Her sent and her taste are addicting, she so perfect.

 

“You taste so good baby!”

 

Oh Oliver… please I need … god.”

 

He knows what she wants and slides two fingers into her wet folds and thrust back and forth until she’s whimpering his name. he adds his mouth on her clit and she’s done.

 

“GOD ! Oliver ! Fuck.”

 

Her head falls back and she closes her eyes.

 

“Eyes on me baby, look at me.”

 

He needs to look at her when she comes around his mouth and fingers.

 

He pumps and sucks on her clit and she comes with a loud scream.

 

He is mesmerized by the pleasure he sees on her face and knowing it is thanks to him …

 

_Fuck!!!_

 

“You’re so beautiful!”

 

“Come here!”

 

She kisses him and she can taste herself on him and it turns the fuck out of him on.

 

She grabs his hard cock in her tiny hands and strokes it.

 

_Fuck!_

 

She pulls his boxer down and he gets rid of them!

 

She has both of her hands stroking him while his kisses her neck and ears back and forth.

 

With her finger she takes the bit of pre cum, looks in his eyes and takes her finger into her mouth.

 

_Oh my fuckin god you’re gonna kill me !!!!_

 

“God Felicity!”

 

“I need you inside of me Oliver. Please now.”

 

He kisses her, and it is soft and loving, he takes his time.

 

He brings he cock to her entrance but he doesn’t enter her yet; he put his forehead on hers, kisses her nose, and intertwines their left fingers together.

 

he whispers loves words and puts soft kisses all over her face and enters her.

 

They both loudly moan and close their eyes together. Their hands together joined on top of her head, they are breathing the same air.

 

He pulls completely out of her and goes back in harder.

 

“Oh my god yes! “

 

He takes a painfully slow pace and it’s like nothing he never experience in sex before; it was always rough and quick for only wanting to find his release.

 

But it’s different here, they can’t look away from each other, they are making love. He keeps pampering her face with soft kisses and soft ‘I love yous’ in her ear.

 

“Fuck don’t stop Oliver please don’t stop.”

 

“Never, I’ll never stop loving you.”

 

The tension is too much, tears gather in her eyes.

 

“Don’t cry baby, I ‘ll never let anything happen to you, I’ll always protect you and love you till my last dying breath. I love you so much.”

 

_Oh my god!!!_

 

A tears escape her eyes and he kisses it away.

 

She puts her arms around his neck and brings him closer to her, kissing him with all she has.

 

They are making love; it’s slow, it’s passionate, it’s romantic, it’s two person desperately in love telling each other with their bodies of much they love one another.

 

The only sounds you can hear are they moans, their wet kisses, and their body slapping.

 

It’s perfectly perfect.

 

He picks up his pace and their moans turn into screams.

 

“Please harder Oliv.. Oh yes please harder! Right there.”

 

She closes her eyes and bits her lower lip.

 

He has to control himself to not come right there.

 

He pulls her lips away from her with he own lips.

 

“Open your eyes baby, eyes on me ok?”

 

She nods and kisses him hard.

 

She’s completely lost in her pleasure an dhe could watch her all day, she comes with a very loud scream that resonates through the entire hotel room and he comes right after her, prolonging her orgasm.

 

When they both come down from their high he kisses her slowly.

 

“I’ll be right back don’t move.”

 

He’s back in a second with a warm washcloth and cleans her up and the intimacy of the moment isn’t lost on both of them.

 

They get under the covers and he brings her close to him, his arms around hers and her head on his chest. He caresses her back until she falls asleep.

 

_I love you._

 

He fell asleep content, with a smile on his face and not afraid of nightmares for the first time in forever, with the woman he loves more than anything in his arms.

 

 

He wakes up several times in the night to the most beautiful woman, their legs tangled, he brushes her hair out of her face and drops some soft kisses on her face.

 

He can’t believe he has her naked in his arms right now, their night together was… well it was the best night of his life; he discovered what it was to make love with the person you love and wow.

 

She never said that she loves him back but it’s ok he didn’t say it to hear it back he said it cause he needed her to know it.

 

_******_

 

He woke up alone in the bed, her side cold.

 

He panicked and checked the room but she was nowhere to be seen. All her clothes and stuff were gone.

 

_Felicity…._

 

He quickly dressed and went to the front reception asking for her, and he was told that she left an hour ago.

 

_Fuck!_

 

He went back to his room, sad and angry. He waited for Thea and Sara and they left.

 

When they arrived in Starling he dropped them off and went straight to her place.

 

He knocked on her door and when she opened quickly ax is she was expecting him.

 

She was barefoot, wearing yoga pants and a tank top with no makeup on.

 

“Hi Oliver. What are you doing here?”

 

_I must be fucking dreaming right now!_

 

“Felicity??? Why did you leave?”

 

“Why would I stay Oliver?”

 

What??

 

“Felicty I told you I’m sorry and I love you and I..”

 

“And I love you Oliver. I love you like I have never loved anyone before. I love you with everything I have. I’m so terribly in love you.”

 

He stops breathing.

 

“Fe… Felicity I ..”

 

“But the thing is Oliver, I don’t want to love you and I don’t want to be a women that you love.”

 

She says it with so much distance and acceptance it’s like she pushed a sword in his chest.

 

“What? Felicity No we can, we can work things out we.”

 

“No we can’t Oliver. We just can’t.”

 

“Why Felicity? Tell me why? What happened?”

 

She laughs.

 

_Why the fuck is she laughing when he- wants to cry?_

 

“You want to know what happened?”

 

“Yes what made you lose hope and faith in us? When did that happened?”

 

“I lost any kind of hope in a potential relation between us the moment you took my heart and crushed it with your own hands when I walked in on you and Sara having sex in the foundry.

That night, you hurt me like no one has ever hurt me before and god knows I’ve been hurt a lot of times. I walked down those stairs and I saw you both there on the pillars. I still have nightmares about that night, about how I took off my heels when I left because I didn’t want you to hear me, about how I cried in my car alone for half an hour before I booked a plane ticket to go home because it was just beyond my strength to face and not fall apart in front of you. You destroyed a part of myself that night, and when you decided to have sex with is is extact same moment you decided to let go of me.”

 

Oh god..p

 

His mouth is hanging open and tears are falling from his eyes.

 

“But you know what I realized Oliver? It was never about me right? It was always about you and about your issues. It was never about me because you don’t love me; you never would’ve done that if you did. You never would’ve done that because you would’ve known how much it would’ve hurt me. But you did it anyway because you didn’t care about me and it’s OK Oliver, I promise you it is.”

 

He puts his hands on his face.

 

“God..”

 

“I decided that I was done crying and that I was done running. I’ll never shed a tear again because of you. I deserve so much more than that and I’m gonna fight for what I deserve.”

 

His heart is so heavy and pressed against his chest, the tears won’t stop falling.

 

“I wish you to find love and happiness with all my heart Oliver I truly do. You’ve been through hell and you deserve your happy ending as well, but it’ll never be with me. And weather if it’s with Sara or with another woman I’ll truly be happy for you.”

 

He doesn’t speak.

 

 

“I’ll never regret what happened last night and it’s a memory that I will cherish for a long time but that’s it.

 

Now I’m going to take time for myself and figure out want I want to do with my life. I won’t be coming back to foundry. Please understand. Please take care of yourself and be happy.”

 

She opens the door and motions for him to step outside.

 

“Bye Oliver.”

 

And then she closes the door.

 

**

Felicity closes the door and immediately picks up her phone. Now is time, it is freaking time to move on.

 

The phone rings a couple of times and then the person on the other line answers.

 

“Hello?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOOOO ???
> 
> kudos and comment what you think will happen / would like to happen.
> 
> Next chapter is a 5 months time jump!! so exited
> 
> LOVE YOU GUYS!!
> 
> Sophia XOXO


	7. Baby Daddy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiii Guys !!! I know it's been so long and I apologize but life has just been crazy! 
> 
> From now on I'll update once a week :)
> 
> For those of you still keeping up with this story here's the next chapter! 
> 
> Hope you enjoy it.

 

 

 

 

“Ok… oh oh god… you gotta stop… he's gonna come in there at any second.”

 

She really _really_ didn't want him to stop, cause the things he's currently doing with his tongue… well let's say that she's having a pretty good time; but she knew that their son would come into their room in any minute. She didn't want to have to answer THOSE questions to her little boy yet.

 

“Come on baby, just give me a few more minutes and you'll thank me later.”

 

She pulled at his hair with her hand, making him look at her.

 

“Honey it's 7:59 and I know for a fact that our kid is coming IN HERE in less than a minute.”

 

“Felicity, I know my son, we still have about five minutes till he wakes up.”

 

Putting his head between her thighs again, he resumed his sinful work, making her moan loudly.

 

Words died her mouth and she can’t think straight with her husband’s head between her tights.

 

She can feel that delicious heat low on her belly starting to build up, she’s close and he can’t feel it. He just needs to---

 

“Mommaaaaaa!!!”

 

Felicity screamed, getting out of her husband's hold, while he muttered a silent _fuck!_

 

“Daddy what are you doing?”

 

Her little 2 year old patted in their room until he was in front of them, his big beautiful blue eyes confused.

 

Felicity doesn't let her husband answer and jumps out of bed and picks up her son.

 

“Good morning sunshine of my life, daddy was just giving mommy a good morning hug.”

 

“Well I was trying to...”

 

She gave her husband a stern look and he looked down. He ran his hand through his son blondish hair.

 

“Good morning champ! How did you sleep?”

 

“Good, but I still want my cuddles in the big bed.”

 

Felicity holds her baby closer and kisses all his face, making him laugh.

 

“Of course baby we can cuddle in mommy and daddy's bed.”

 

They both crawled back in bed; her son instantly hugged his daddy.

 

Her son is cocooned between them, she has a hand on her son's belly and the other on her husband’s waist, holding them both close to her and they cuddle, sharing their morning ritual of kisses and sweet words, talking about the day ahead of them and what they will have for breakfast.

 

This has been their routine for the past five months but she can't get enough of this moment with the two men of her life. If she'd have to describe what pure happiness is she'd choose this moment. She feels so much gratitude and pure happiness, watching the two most important people in her life showing off their muscles, it's overwhelming and her heart is full. She just stares at them, a content look on her face.

 

“Come here.”

 

Her husband tightens his hold on her and brings her closer to him.

 

“I love you… I feel like I never thank you enough for the life you gave me, for bringing our angel to this world. I don't know what I would do without you.”

 

“You'll be just fine without me, but thank god you never have to find out cause I’m never letting you go.”

 

She closes the distance between them and kisses him.

 

“No daddy, it's my mommy and she only kisses me! Right Mommy?”

 

They all laugh and Felicity puts her son on top of her.

 

“Yeah but baby we don't want daddy to be sad because he doesn't get kisses do we? I'd be sad if I didn't get his kisses. Wouldn't you be sad too? I think that you'd be sad if you no longer had daddy's kisses.”

 

The way he thinks about the question, with a frown between his eyebrows is soooo Felicity; her son definitely got her brains.

 

“Yeah yeah I guess. It's ok daddy you can kiss mommy too.”

 

“Why don't we ask daddy to make us breakfast while you stay with me and we cuddle a little more?”

 

His little face lighted up at her suggestion. It's really funny how expressive he is.

 

“NO MOMMY ! We all stay here to cuddle more and then we get up and make breakfast ok?”

 

“Ok buddy, you have the best ideas you know that.”

 

“Of course daddy, mommy says I’m a genius.”

 

In their little bubble of love and happiness, she heard someone calling her name, but it seemed that the person was far away, she then felt someone pulling at her arms but it was soft, so soft.

 

“Wake up Felicity, come on you're gonna be late for your appointment, you have to wake up!!”

 

_NO NO NO!!_

 

She doesn't want to wake up, she wants to stay right here with her boys, cocooned in there bed.

 

“Felicity honey wake up, come on wake up!”

 

She jerked awaked, her eyes flying open.

 

A lump formed in her throat, a big one and she had a hard time swallowing.

 

“I'm awake Thea, I'm awake...”

 

Yeah she knows she's awake now, and just like she did for the past three months, she closes her eyes tight when she wakes up and tries to remember every detail of her dream because that's all it is, a dream.

 

“Your appointment is in half an hour and you have to get ready and actually get to your doctor’s office.”

 

“I'll be right there Thea, just give 10 minutes.”

 

Thea reached for her hand and kissed her forehead.

 

“Kay I'll be waiting for you in the kitchen.”

 

Felicity nodded and waited for Thea to leave her bedroom.

 

She pushed the covers to her nose, as tears rolled down her face.

 

She has been having the same kind of dreams for the past two months, but the one she just had was so different from the ones she’s had on so many levels.

 

Even awake now, she can still feel how happy, how content and how grateful she was in her dream. It’s crazy but she can feel on her skin the touches and the kisses as if they just happened. She usually just remembers few bits here and there, but the this time, this dream was just… she remembers every single detail about it and it hurts so incredibly much because she wants this dream to be a reality, god she wants it so bad it physically hurts. She puts a hand above her chest and presses it hard against her throbbing heart, trying to push the heartache away. 

 

A deep sob escaped her lips and she couldn’t contain her feelings anymore and cried into her pillow. 

 

_GOD… Why can’t I have this?_

 

She wipes her tears and gets out of bed. She looks at herself in the mirror and a smile instantly appears on her face.

 

“Good morning baby. Thank you for not sitting on mommy’s bladder this morning I really appreciate it.”

 

She runs her hands through her big belly and she chuckles cause she can’t even see her feet anymore.

 

Today is a big day. She is officially 20 weeks pregnant. Only four months left until she gets to have her baby safe in her arms and she cannot wait.

 

 

She went to her bathroom, showered and got ready for her day. She chose a beige pencil skirt and a black blouse which showed more cleavage than necessary but what do you want, pregnancy has done good things to her boobs. They like doubled size. Yes.

She refused to wear those ugly wide maternity clothes, she won't stop wearing cute fashion clothes just cause a baby is growing inside of her and making her look like a wale. _Nope, not gonna happen._ Although she had to forget about heels cause her back was killing her and her doctor highly recommended her to stop wearing them.

 

She applied her makeup and let her hair fall around her face, just like she did for the past months.

 

When she got to the kitchen she found Thea there as promised, a tray full of healthy food in front of her.

 

“Good morning sexy mama! How you feeling this morning? Big day huh?”

 

“I already told you multiple times Thea I’m a genius with a very high IQ so I’m aware that I look nothing like sexy and more like a huge fat orc ok? Otherwise yeah I’m good. I’m excited to see and hear my little nugget today.”

 

She caresses her growing belly, her face loaded of emotions. She found herself constantly doing that lately, stoking her big belly; in a way it made her feel closer and connected to her baby.

 

“Stop it you know you’re gorgeous! You actually make women want to be pregnant with how perfectly pregnancy suits you! But yeah big day, five months today! God I can’t believe how fast time flies it’s crazy.”

 

“Yeah tell me about it.”

 

_**It's you It was always you and it'll always be you.** _

 

She closes her eyes and prays the god to just shut this voice in her head. She doesn't want to hear this voice and those words but it seems that her brain doesn't care about that.

 

“Felicity I know we talked about this before but you sure you don't want to-”

 

She immediately knew where Thea was headed with that question and she didn't want to talk about it, not anymore.

 

“Indeed Thea we talked about it and I haven't changed my mind.”

 

“Okay I'll drop it.”

 

“Thanks T.Queen . I gotta go know.”

 

“Kay… you better send me all the photos of the ultrasounds!”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Felicity... I wanted to know if it's ok with you if I spend the night at Roy's tonight?”

 

“Yeah of course it's ok with me, you shouldn't have to ask me that, you do what you want.”

 

“Yeah yeah I know that but I also know that you have nightmares and that you're scared of being alone at night so I want you to be honest with me. If you don't want me to go you just say it and I'll stay.”

 

Thea was right, she is terrified of being alone at night but it was great time to start healing and stop being afraid. I mean she's gonna be a mother in less than four months.

 

A mother…

 

“I promise Thea I'll be ok, you go have fun with Roy and I'll promise I'll call you if I need you OK?”

 

“Alright then. You Go now or you'll be late.”

 

“Yeah, have a good day beautiful.”

 

“You too sexy prego!”

 

They both laughed and Felicity left the house to go to her Obstetrician.

 

 

The ride was to her OB was quite short so she didn't really have time dwell on her emotions.

 

Once she was dressed in the horrible blouse and laid down on the table, the same cocktail of emotion hit her; excitement and sadness battled in her heart.

 

She was so incredibly much excited about the thought of seeing and hearing her little nugget. It still amazes her how much love she can feel for someone she hasn't even seen yet. It's this indescribable feeling. She's so in love with her nugget and she already knows that there's nothing she wouldn't do her baby.

 

But she couldn't help but feeling a bit sad too.

 

 

_**I love you so fucking much it hurts. When you're away from me I can't function right, I'm constantly thinking about you.** _

 

She can't seem to get his voice out of her head. It's been five months since she last heard his voice but yet it feels like he said those words to her yesterday. Those words are written on her skin for the rest of her life.

 

_**I ‘ll never let anything happen to you, I’ll always protect you and love you till my last dying breath. I love you so much.** _

 

A tear escape her eyes just as the doctor enters the room.

 

“Hello Felicity how are you feeling today? Oh dear are you ok?”

 

Her OB was a beautiful woman, around 40 years old. They both immediately had a great connection.

 

“Yeah Yeah I'm Ok, happy tears here, I can't wait to see my little nugget.”

 

The doctor probably saw right through her lie but didn't push.

 

“You're alone today?”

 

“No no no I'm here, sorry I'm late but traffic was just crazy I actually thought I wouldn't make it.”

 

“Hi Ray.”

 

Felicity couldn't help but smile at the sight of him. Ray just makes everything better, she loves Ray.”

 

 

“Hi Mr Palmer. I'm glad you could make it. Our mama to be is a little emotional today so it's good that you're here.”

 

“I think that she's just as excited as I am to see this little angel.”

 

He kissed her forehead and then her belly.

 

“Sorry I'm late. You know I never would've missed this appointment.”

 

“It's ok, you're here now it's all that matters.”

 

They held hand while the doctor prepared everything.

 

“Ok Felicity as usual it's gonna be a bit cold. Okaaaaay let's take a look.”

 

Ray smiled at her and squeezed her hand.

 

They went over all the formality and the doctor once again confirmed them that everything was going just fine.

 

“Felicity dear you have to take it easy and avoid stress, your tension is a bit high which means that you need to relax and stop overdoing things. Babies in bellies don't like stress and the pain in your back will also lessen.”

 

“Alright Yeah I know you're right, I'll stop overdoing things.”

 

“Great ! Now onto the big question… do you still not want to know the baby's sex?”

 

Felicity looked at Ray and then closed her eyes.

 

_**I love you so fucking much it hurts. When you're away from me I can't function right, I'm constantly thinking about you.** _

 

She find it hard to open her eyes. This voice doesn't want to get away from her head.

 

_God Felicity get it together!!!_

 

She opened her eyes and looked at Ray, he seemed to understand her thoughts because he smiled and little and nodded.

 

“No doc we don't want to find out the Sex of the baby, Felicity wants it to be a surprise.”

 

Felicity mouthed and emotional 'Thank You' to Ray.

 

“Okay well we're finished for today. I'll let you dress back up and I'll see you at the front desk to give you the ultrasounds and your next appointment.”

 

They both nodded and the doctor left the room.

 

“Thank you for coming Ray and about the baby's sex I don't-”

 

“Felicity it's ok, I get it you don't need to explain.”

 

**********                              

Ray dropped Felicity at her place, telling her that he has to go to work. He hugged her for a long moment and then whispered something to her belly before kissing it.

 

She spent the rest of the day at home, relaxing. She took a long bath, read another pregnancy book and caught up on her favorite TV shows. She of course sent the new ultra sound picture to Thea; she’s not that crazy to risk Thea's wrath.

 

She on her couch eating pickles and listening to some music, her thoughts running wild.

 

“ _ **God Felicity I Love You so Much.”**_

 

 

_NO NO NO JUST SHUT UP!!!_

 

She doesn't want to hear his voice but looks like her brain doesn't give a care about what her heart wants.

 

 

_Foundry! Yes Foundry!_

 

She quickly put her shoes and coat and went to the foundry. She didn't want to spend the rest of her evening sitting on her couch and thinking about him so what better idea than the foundry to hack a bit and to get her mind of him?

 

**********

 

Diggle was lifting weights when he heard Felicity entering the foundry.

 

“Look who it is! Hello gorgeous.”

 

“Hi yourself Dig. How are you doing?”

 

“I'm good I'm good! So do I finally get to find out if I'm having a niece or a nephew?”

 

He saw her eyes drifting to the ground and he knew.

 

“Felicity-”

 

“NO dig I can't ok? I don't want to find out. I just can't and I want it to be a surprise ok? It's my right. It's My baby.”

 

At the sight of her teary eyes, he lifted his hand in surrender.

 

“Okay yeah it's your right I'm sorry. But Felicity we can’t keep avoiding this-”

 

“HE LEFT!!”

 

Ok pissing her of was not his goal, he doesn’t want to make her feel bad but they have to talk about it.

 

 

“Dig he left… he decided to leave. To leave us, the foundry, Thea, his life. He didn’t even say goodbye. Nothing.”

 

“I know that Felicity but-“

 

“But what Dig?”

 

Ok so she doesn’t want to let him finish his sentences apparently.

 

“He just left and I’m done trying to find him excuses. Dig I’m tired of asking myself the same questions day and night. It’s not just me anymore and I have to think about my baby. It’s his life his choice and he chose to leave, all I have to do is accept that and think about my baby. Please understand Dig.”

 

When a tear rolled down her cheek he lost the battle. He took her in his arms and held both of them.

 

“Ok Felicity it’s your call. Just never forget that I’m here for the both of you, I know you have Ray but I’ll always be there for you.”

 

“I know Dig I Know.”

 

After that intense moment, they both decided to talk about other things. Felicity upgraded the system and went home shortly after.

 

Once she was gone Dig knew that he had to make a decision for her.

 

He picked up his phone and dialed his number.

 

“HI man, I let you have you moment of brooding but you need to cut the crap now and come back home. You can’t keep this up much longer, you need to come back to Star City now it’s about Felicity. It’s important, I wouldn’t have called if it wasn’t important.”

 

He hung up and then himself left the foundry, following Felicity’s step.

 

**********

 

When Oliver got to the foundry, it felt so strange yet so familiar.

 

 

 

He looms over things but doesn’t dare touching anything. He watches her work station; her computers and her chair he feels his heart tightens. He misses her so much.

Here, in the safety of the foundry, he cannot help but think about the last time he saw her.

 

One hundred and twenty two days ago.

 

_ 4 months ago: _

 

_It was just past 11 pm when Oliver walked down the stairs of the foundry. He had been gone for a month and the first place he came to is of course the foundry. It has been a month since he left Star City. He just couldn’t stay here anymore not after everything that happened with her, he just couldn’t. He knew it was weak to leave and most probably the wrong choice and that he was a cowered and not strong enough but at this point he just didn’t care anymore._

 

_It hurt too much and facing her every day was beyond his strength so he did what he always does, he ran._

 

_He constantly thinks about her and about their night together._

 

_It’s scientifically crazy how he remembers every second of his time with her; he remembers it all and sometimes he wished he’d just forget about it because it was hard, too hard._

 

_**I love you; I’m so terribly in love with you.** _

 

_GOD please._

 

_He was by now used to hear her voice in his head; the words she told him were engraved in his memory._

 

_**I love you with everything I have but I don’t want to love you and I don’t want to be a woman that you love.** _

 

_Damn ! when she spoke those words she crushed his soul._

 

_Despite the hurt he still longs for her and craves her every second of every day._

 

_He misses her so much._

 

 

_Reaching the last stair he froze, not being able to keep his eyes off the sight in front of him. There she stood, beautiful as ever in a tight red dress which hugged her curves perfectly. Seeing her in a dress like that immediately took him back to their first blown up date and he felt his chest tighten at the thought. Her strappy golden heels were tossed on the floor next to her desk, reminding him of how tiny she really is . She had straightened her hair but he could see some loose curls at the ends. He literally had to put his hands in his pockets to stop himself from touching her hair and reaching out to her. He remembers how he had always dreamt about how soft they‘d feel in his fingers. But now he really knew how they felt and even if it’s been a month since he last touched her, he remembers every single detail about her, he always will._

 

_Thanks to his ninja hearing as Felicity calls it, he could hear the music she was listening to in her headphones. She was singing and humming Beyoncé Single Ladies’ while dancing and shaking her body. Seeing her like that, so carefree and light broke his heart just a little more. He couldn’t help but think about that awful day when she basically told him goodbye_

 

_**I truly want you to be happy. Bye Oliver.** _

 

 

_She kept dancing and singing unaware of his presence and he knew he should leave he had to stop staring at her. But he just couldn’t. He misses her so much. He misses her rambles; he misses the way she says his name conveying some much meaning in just one word, he misses the way she blushes, he misses her stares whiles he’s working out, he misses how she always drinks her milkshake before she eats her burger and fries, he misses the way she bites her bottom lip when she’s frustrated and how she grins and claps her hands when she found a lead. There are so many things he misses about her, but the thing he really desperately misses is the way she used to look at him. Like he was the only man she believed in, like she would put her life in his hands without a second thought, like he was her hero._

_That was the only thing that he used to be certain about, that he was her hero and that she he had her eternal and complete trust but he doesn’t know if that’s still stands._

 

_**I lost any hope In a potential when I saw you and sara** _

 

 

_**I still have nightmares about that night, about how I took off my heels so you wouldn’t hear me, about how I cried for half an hour in my car before I booked a plane ticket to go home.** _

 

_**The moment you decided to have sex with Sara is the exact same moment you decide to let go of me.** _

 

 

_He’ll never forgive himself for what he did and the pain it caused her._

_That day at her house after she finally told him everything, he wanted to die._

 

_He felt dead inside when he left. No emotions. Nothing._

 

_**You hurt me like no one has ever hurt me before**._

 

 

_All he ever wanted was for her to be happy but he’s the one that hurt her like no one has ever hurt her before._

 

_God she saw him having sex in the foundry with Sara._

 

_How does someone get back up from that?_

_If it would’ve been him walking in on her having sex in the foundry with someone else he would’ve lost it. He would’ve killed the guy. He would’ve died, that he knows for sure._

 

_He’s so ashamed of what he did. He still can’t believe it happened._

 

_He’s so fucking ashamed of himself._

 

_For the past month, he asked himself the same questions; How did she put up with him? How did she manage to see him, to work with him, to talk to him and to stand by his side?_

 

_He still hasn’t figured out the answers to those questions._

 

 

 

_Seeing her there in front of him, after_ _thirty_ _long days is overwhelming._

 

_She was waving her left hand in the air singing “put a ring on it” when her phone rang and he thought that now would be a good time to make himself noticeable but he was way to curious to find out who’d call her this late. He shouldn’t but he just cannot help it so here he is after staring at her for 10 minutes, eavesdropping her._

 

 

_She smiled when she answered._

 

“ _Hey gorgeous what’s up”._

 

_Well that really got his attention, who the hell is she talking to?_

 

“ _I know I’m sorry I was supposed to call you back hours ago, but I had this thing with Ray which I totally forgot about.”_

 

_Of course she would look this gorgeous with this assholl by her side._

 

“ _And he was pissed that I was late so you know … I had to make for it”._

 

_Even with her back to him he could see her blush. A wave of pure rage and possessiveness hit him at the thought of his Felicity being intimate with Ray._

 

“ _Oh come on Thea what are you 12?”_

 

_Thea? Did she say Thea?_

 

” _Yeah well I am so not talking about that with you”_

 

_She laughed. A true heartfelt laugh which was music to his ears._

 

“ _Yeah well I have skills so let’s say that he’s not upset anymore.”_

 

_Skills?_

 

_He knows what skills she possesses; he knows all of ‘em and he now even knows the one she’s refereeing to right now._

 

_He knows he absolutely has no right to be jealous or hurt or angry, not after what happened but fuck he can’t help it. He sees red, he’s so fucking jealous and angry._

 

“ _Oh God Thea gross!! I’m not talking about my sex life with you OK? I’ll see you tomorrow for brunch ok? I can’t wait for you to meet Kiera and Em. Okay bye love you too T. Queen.”_

 

_He hid behind a wall and waited._

 

_He watched her put her heel back on, grab her stuff and leaving._

 

 

_He didn’t really know what he was going to do once he got back here in Star City, but now he know that he’s not ready yet to return home and stay here. Not Yet, maybe not ever. So once again he left._

 

 

**********

 

Oliver was torn. He desperately wanted to see her and John seemed a bit weird which made him worry. If it was about her then he'd come back. Is she ok? Is she hurt?

 

He knew that if he spent too much time thinking about it and listing the pros and cons he'd never made a decision and would end up leaving so he just put his helmet and drove towards Felicity's house.

 

He got there in a record time but once he was in front of her building he just froze, completely unable to go in and knock on her door. He decided to climb on the roof of the opposite building and just watch her.

 

It had been four months since he last laid eyes on her. It had been one hundred and twenty two days and seven hours.

 

He settles comfortably on the rooftop.

 

The lights in her kitchen and bedroom were on and she hasn't closed her curtains yet so he had a perfect view of her whole place thanks to her large windows.

 

For more than an hour he waited but no sign of Felicity.

 

Until he saw the bathroom door opening and Felicity coming out of it.

His heart was beating so fast. He missed her so much.

 

_God..._

 

 

Once she was fully in her bedroom he looked at her his heart clenched at the sight, seeing her beautiful long hair, her full lips and blue eyes… he couldn't look away from her face.

 

After about two minutes of pure amazement his eyes travelled down her body and-

 

_Oh God…_

 

He literally had one hand on his chest and his mouth was hanging open.

 

He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.

 

He has to close his eyes for a minute and breathe slowly. He had to be dreaming or hallucinating he had to because there’s no way he just saw what he just saw.

 

He opened his eyes and what he saw took his breath away.

 

Felicity was standing in front of her big mirror, her tank top rolled up just under her breast, living her very big belly on display.

 

_Of my fucking god……._

 

So he is not dreaming.

 

She is pregnant.

 

Felicity is Pregnant.

 

_OK._

 

_OK._

 

Tears gather in his eyes as he watches her.

 

She is lightly smiling, applying some cream on her belly. The way she caresses and strokes her belly so lovingly… he’s mesmerized by her and watches closely every single one of her moves.

The sharp contrast of her bright red nail against her creamy belly is hypnotizing.

He takes all of her body in; the first thing he notices is that her boobs seem bigger, her lips as well . She doesn’t look like she has gained that much weight but he can definitely see some changes in her body.

 

She is stunning.

 

She’s glowing.

 

She’s pregnant.

 

He still can’t believe what he’s seeing. He never imagined coming home to this. To a very pregnant Felicity. He understands John’s phone call better now.

 

 

He can’t take his eyes off her. He’s mesmerized by her.

 

She walks around her bedroom, in her pajama shorts and her still ridden up tank top living her bare belly on display.

 

She picks up her ringing phone and he notices how she immediately stiffens.

 

She’s clearly unhappy and uncomfortable about this phone call.

 

She shouts and gestures a lot with her hand. Sometimes she takes deep breaths, closes her eyes and stokes her belly.

 

Then he sees her anger and tears falling from her eyes. She throws her phone on her bed and cries, hiding her face behind her hand.

 

And then his heart stopped beating.

 

She hisses in pain, bends over, a hand on her wall and the other low on her belly.

 

He’s frozen

 

 

God.

 

He’s numb.

 

He sees her breathing heavily, her facial expression screaming pain.

 

She tries to takes a few step, a hand behind her back on hip bone and the other still stroking her belly.

 

She wipes her tears and he sees her mouth moving, as if she was speaking. But who could she be speak-

 

_OH!_

 

She's talking to the baby he realized.

 

Another wave of tears attacks her and he sees he whole body trembling and shaking on her bed.

 

His heart is broken.

 

She looks so sad.

 

He wants to go to her, hold her and tell her that everything is going to be ok.

 

He wants to do that so bad but he knows that he lost that right.

 

He knows that he is overstepping watching her and spying on her like that but he doesn't care, he misses her too much and he can't look away from her.

 

She calms herself and she grabs some large headphone and her tablet, he never saw those kinds of headphones before. She settles comfortably on her bed and puts the headphones on her belly.

 

So that's why they looked special it's for the baby.

 

He really is mesmerized and overwhelmed. He's lost, he doesn't know what to think.

 

He just watches her. He never forget about her beauty but seeing her pregnant was just something else entirely; she is breathtaking.

 

Seeing her pregnant messes with his heart so bad. He lost the count in the number of times he imagined her caring their child.

 

It suddenly hit him what the implication of being pregnant means.

She had to have sex with--

 

_OH GOD NO ..._

 

 

Tears are falling from his eyes and he accepts them.

 

He's so full of regrets. Things were never supposed to be like this. But everything happens for a reason right. He deserves being miserable.

 

Her and Ray must be thrilled and very happy.

 

The pang of jealousy and pure sadness hitting his heart is inevitable. He’s so sad and miserable; he wants it so bad to him instead of Ray.

 

Only god knows how bad he wants it.

 

He takes his phone out of his pocket and decides to do what he refused to do for the last five month.

 

He googled her name.

 

He never allowed himself to do that because he knew that it would hurt too much to witness her moving on with her life.

 

He typed her name and pressed the search button.

 

Oh Lord…

 

Hundreds of pictures of her appeared on his phone and articles.

 

The first pictures he saw took the breath out of him. It was all about her belly.

It was pictures of her and Ray walking and holding hands, having lunch, attending galas, sitting on benches and having coffee. All the picture enhancing her pregnant frame.

 

Tears were burning his eyes.

 

He was so heartbroken.

 

He felt so sorry for himself.

 

Life was never gonna give him peace and happiness.

 

It was time he accepts his faith.

 

He goes through the dozens of article titles

 

‘Felicity Smoak and Ray Palmer ready to welcome a baby genuis’

 

‘Is Felicity Smoak a mama to be?’

 

‘How to slay pregnancy with Felicity Smoak fashion style’

 

‘Congrats are in order for out IT couple’

 

There was some picture from this day, it was her and Ray living what seems to be her doctor's office. She was smiling looking at some ultrasounds. Ray had his arm around her and was holding her bag and coat. Her outfit perfectly enhanced her frame, her tight pencil skirt showing her round belly and her top showing off her assets.

 

_God .._

 

He could not look at his phone anymore, he was going to be sick.

 

 

It’s crazy how despite everything he still feels happy for her. He knows without a doubt that she’s going to be a great mother.

 

A mother...

 

Wow…

 

 

 

 

He watched her sleep for 3 hours before she woke up. She put some sweat pants on and a coat.

 

_What the fuck? Where is she going at 2 am??_

 

He's suddenly very nervous.

 

She disappears from his sight only to emerge on her building door a few moments later.

 

_Is she crazy?_

 

 _Where is she going?_   


He followed her as she walked a few block and took a turn on a a dark alley.

 

_Fuck!_ _W_ _hat is she doing?_

 

One of his biggest fear was about to play just in front of his eyes.

 

She didn’t noticed them yet but Oliver saw the two guys lurking at the end of the alley, drunk and probably and drugged as well.

 

She noticed them too late, when she was only a few feet from them, she took a sudden turn and walked quickly, taking her phone out at the same time.

 

“Hey Barbie where are you going, don’t you want to join us and have some fun.”

 

One of the guys grabbed her arm and she screamed.

 

“Don’t touch me, get the fuck away from me.”

 

“Oh a feisty one, I like it.”

 

Oliver couldn’t control his shaking body, he barely heard her saying ‘Please don’t hurt my baby’ before he launched himself at the two guys. He was in a trance; he couldn’t stop himself from hitting those guys until he heard her scream behind him.

 

“FELICITY??!!!”

 

She laid on the ground, a hand on her belly and the other on her forehead.

 

He never ran this fast in his life. He threw himself on the ground next to her.

 

Her eyes were fluttering as if she couldn’t keep them open?

 

“Felicity it’s ok please keep your eyes open for me please.”

 

He was so scared.

 

“Oliver??”

 

“Yeah it’s me Felicity it’s me the ambulance is on its way talk to me.

 

“My baby…. Please…. Save …. Baby my baby.”

 

_NO NO NO NO this can’t be happening._

 

“Felicty stay awake PLEASE!!!”

 

Her eyes fell completely shut as she lost consciousness.

 

 

_Oh GOD… !!!_

 

_Why is this happening?_

 

Two minutes later the ambulance and the cops arrived; he explained everything and jumped in the back on the ambulance with her. He felt like a fool when he couldn’t answer the questions regarding her pregnancy; ‘ _how far along is she?_ ’ ‘ _Does she have any complications_ _with her pregnancy?_ ’

 

He does not know.

 

He felt so weird, it’s like his body is here but his mind is so so far away from here.

He’s still shaking from what just happened.

 

He puts his face in his hands and breathes deeply.

 

He then looks up at her and examines her face closely.

 

She’s so beautiful.

 

The paramedic cuts her top, revealing her belly.

 

_GOD…_

 

He’s mesmerized and can’t take his eyes of it.

 

There’s a baby in here. In this big beautiful belly there’s hers and Ray’s baby.

 

_GOD_

 

He spots her phone and takes it dialing Dig’s number.

 

“No No it’s not Felicity it’s me… yeah it’s a long story but I’m with Felicity and we are on are way to Starling General… Calm down please … no she was attacked... Dig I don’t know I don’t fucking know ok?... alright yeah I’ll see you there.”

 

He hung up and took her hand.

 

 

**********

The next two hours were the longest of his life.

 

The doctors jumped on her when they arrived in the ER. He was left alone in the waiting room.

Dig quickly arrived quickly after.

 

“How is she? Where is she? What the hell happened?”

 

Ok so he knew that he wouldn’t be welcomed back with hugs but it still stung to have Dig so distant.

 

He explained everything that happened. At the end Diggle nodded and went to take a sit.

 

“Look Dig-“

 

“I don’t want to hear it Oliver, not now. I’m here for Felicity not to listen to whatever bullshit you’re about to tell me so save it.”

 

Oh ok..

 

Oliver was left speechless.

 

Half an hour later a nurse came looking for Felicity’s relative and they both eagerly stood up.

 

“Yes yes! How is she?”

 

“Miss Smoak is going to be OK. She lost consciousness due to her fall on the head. We were worried about her baby but thank god everything is looking fine. She has a strong baby in there, just as strong as she is. She needs a lot of rest and no stress so we’re keeping her for at least two days and we’ll see how thing go.”

 

“Thank god. Can we see her?”

 

Oliver was so relieved and the fact that Dig said ‘we’ created a flare of hope in his heart.

 

“Yes of course. She is in the room 1260.”

 

“Thank you doctor.”

 

He was so nervous. What is he supposed to say? Should he go see her? How is she going to react? Maybe it’s better if he just left.

 

“You going in that room with me, don’t even think about leaving.”

 

OH GOD

 

He’s gonna pass out of nervousness.

 

Dig knocked on the door and opened it.

 

Oliver heart was beating so fast.

 

_God get it together man!_

 

“Hi Felicity, what the hell are you doing scaring me like that? How you feeling?”

 

“Hi Dig, I know I’m stupid but I’m ok.”

 

Oliver stayed behind unnoticed by her yet.

 

Hearing her voice was pure magic.

 

“What were you even doing out at this hour?”

 

Yeah that Oliver wants to know too.

 

“I wanted some tacos. You have no idea how much I wanted tacos. I got home and relaxed then I talked to my mom and we fought. I was upset so I though that the craving would go away. But i woke up with the absolute need to eat a tacos.

 

“Felicity that’s reckless, you never should’ve done that. You should’ve called me or Ray. And where’s Thea?”

 

“She’s spending the night at Roys. Dig I’m sick of always asking you guys stuff, I can do things on my own too.. well no going at at 2 in the morning no ok. But was I supposed to do call you in the middle if the night to get me food? I couldn’t ask Ray this time because he’s working on a big project and he needs his rest. He's tired.”

 

“Felicity, of course you call me, you always call me no matter what.”

 

Oliver was shook. He was lost. He was ten different kinds of pain.

 

He slowly walked towards them.

 

“So I wasn’t dreaming, it really was you.”

 

She’s looking at him but he can’t look back at her.

 

“I’m gonna get you your tacos while the two of you talk.”

 

“Dig I …-“

 

He didn’t let her finish her sentence; he kissed her cheek and whispered something in her ear.

 

She closed her teary eyes and wiped the tear that fell with the back of her hand.

 

 

They just looked at each other but no one talked.

 

After what felt like an eternity she finally spoke.

 

“Thank you for saving me.”

 

He nodded but the words couldn’t come out of his mouth.

 

“What are you doing here Oliver?”

 

_Come on speak!_

 

“I um I …”

 

 

“What are you doing here Oliver?”

 

He can’t answer that question, he can’t. He doesn’t know the answer himself.

He decides to directly address the huge elephant in the room and go straight to the point.

 

“Congradulations.”

 

“Oliver….”

 

He knows he took her by surprise. She’s shocked but try to recover quickly. She runs her hand through her belly.

 

This simple movement knocks the crap out of him.

 

He’s mesmerized .

 

“Thank you.”

 

“You and Ray must be thrilled.”

 

She looks at him. She opens and closes her mouth several times as if she wants to say something but doesn’t know how.

 

“Oliver …”

 

He closes his eyes at the sound of his name falling from his lips.

 

God he missed that.

 

Tears are running down her face, she puts a hand on her mouth to contain her sobs.

 

His heart broke at the sight.

 

_Why is she crying?_

 

He wants to go to her and take her in his arms.

 

He takes a step towards her but she holds her hand up, making him stop.

 

“No Oliver I need to tell you something but please I need you to stay where you are, don’t come closer.”

 

His nervous and scared and the what the hell can she possibly tell him.

 

“Ok Felicity what is it?”

 

He tries to act normal but god he’s scared.

 

She takes her time, caresses her belly, takes deep breaths and dries her tears. Then she looks up at him.

 

“Oliver, the first time I slept with Ray was four months ago, I’m five months pregnant.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO?? What did you guys think?
> 
> What do you think will happen? How do you think Oliver is going to react?
> 
> In the next chapter we'll find out more about what happened during those 5 months, things will get clearer.
> 
> kudos and comments make my day. I love hearing your thoughts!
> 
> Sophia oxox


	8. Decision made?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys!
> 
> I hope you're all doing ok!
> 
> I'm still SHOOK after the 100 ep!!THE OLICITY FEELS !
> 
> Well, here's a new chapter!
> 
> Enjoy ;)

 Previously:

 

“The first time I slept with Ray was four months ago, I'm five months pregnant.”

 

Felicity doesn't know how much time passes but he doesn't speak. She's not even sure he's breathing. He just stares at her. She can't read him and that really scares her.

 

She doesn't know what he's gonna think about it and she might be terrified of his reaction, but she'll never regret telling him. Lying to him was never an option, trust and honesty are two of the mail pillars in their relation, she's never been able to lie to him before, even the times she knew that telling him the truth could put distance between them; like that time she told him about Thea's paternity. She was so afraid that he would push her away but she knew that she'd tell him anyway. She always planned on telling him that he's the father of her baby, from the second she realized he was the father of the baby all she wanted to do was tell him and hear from him that everything was going to be okay. Hear him using that special voice that he only reserves for her. It's soft and it conveys so many emotions. She'd give a lot to hear this voice right now. To hear him saying that everything is going to be okay. So yeah she always planned on telling him but she couldn't simply because he wasn't there. He left, five months ago. He left her a letter explaining everything and his reasons. She honestly cannot remember the number of times she read that letter. She knows every single word in that letter by heart.

 

Even if telling him about the pregnancy was always in her plan, she was terrified about his reaction.

She wasn't afraid that he'd reject her and tell her that he didn't want to be a part of their life. No that she could handle. The thing that she dreads so bad is that he might feel trapped, that he somehow would feel obligated to support them and be there for her and her baby out of guilt and self-sacrifice.

 

And if she's being honest with herself there's one thing that completely terrifies her.

 

What is he leaves again?

 

What if they decide to raise their baby together, if they allow themselves to have it all and then he leaves? She's realistic and for now and in the near future she knows that the only thing that could link them is their baby, for now as far as she's concerned she's not able to completely trust him with her heart; but let's imagine for a moment that they have it all in the future, that they decide to give their relationship a go and give everything to each other and then he leaves? That is something she's never going to be able to get back up from. She honestly thinks that he is the only one who doesn't realize how generous and self sacrifying he is, and if someday he thinks that he needs to leave or to send them away in order for her and their baby to be safe he'd do it in the blink of an eye. He'd never abandon them willingly but if he thinks that it is better for their safety or whatever crap he'd do it. He'd leave them.

 

Then what? What does she tell her kid? What does she answer to her baby soft and confused:

 

'Mommy when is daddy coming back home?'

 

'Mommy why are you crying?'

 

'Mommy I want daddy where is he?'

 

She perfectly remembers her little seven year old self asking these exact same questions to her mother, she perfectly remembers how much her dad leaving them hurt her and how she changed after that. How she kept asking herself the same questions over and over again;

 

'Did he leave because of me?'

 

'What was wrong with me?'

 

'Wasn't I good enough?

 

She became different after he left, insecure and insure.

 

She's never going to let something like that happen to her baby. Her baby will never know the hurt over her dad leaving their life..

 

That is why her heart battles.

 

Is she ready to let him be a part of her baby's life?

 

 

 

He's been through so much in his life, he lost so much, so incredibly much, life never seems to want to give him a break. Even with what happen between them and only god knows how much he hurt her and that what he did was not okay but she can't help but feel sad for him and a tiny bit guilty cause she's now another name on his list, on his list of endless people he feels guilty towards. She never wanted to be another burden on his shoulders. She's very sorry about how things turned out. That is why despite everything that's happened; she can't find it in her to be mad at him.

 

OK so she is not scared of telling him the truth about the pregnancy but she's terrified of his reaction.

 

And right now he's just frozen and she's gonna panic if he doesn't talk soon, like right now soon.

 

“Oliver please say something because I swear on google and you know how much I love google and I never swear on it but if you don't say something I'm gonna have a panic attack and I really really don't want to have a panic attack because the last one I had when I thought I ate a peanut salad dressing but turned out it wasn't but I didn't know it at the beginning and god it was really bad I couldn't breathe and you probably noticed but I'm five month pregnant and I don't want to experience a panic attack cause it could hurt my baby on top of that I'm really not feeling great right now, my head hurt and my back and-”

 

“Felicity-”

 

“Oh thank god you stopped me cause I couldn't and god knows this ramble could've lasted a long time.”

 

“Felicity, I … um I .. how?”

 

 

“Come on Oliver I know that you dropped out of four schools but even this one should be easy for you. What happened in Central City was five months ago, I'm five months pregnant you do the math.”

 

“I'm … I'm the ... but Ray? What about Ray?”

 

“Ray is obviously not the father, I mean we first thought he was the father but when I took the test and saw how far along I actually was it couldn't be him.”

 

“It could only be me.”

 

She nods but it's strange for her because she is still totally unable to read him and she doesn't like that at all.

 

He stands up and starts pacing.

 

“Please stop pacing or I'm gonna be sick.”

 

He instantly stops pacing. And stares at her.

 

“Felicity I-”

 

He's interrupted by a knock on Felicity's door.

 

It's her OB and Felicity instantly smiles.

 

“Hi my dear, you gave me quite a scare here.”

 

“Hi doc I know and I'm so sorry to disturb you at this hour and … and I know that the doctors said that I was ok but I just wanted be sure you know.”

 

Oliver was staring at her hands which were currently on her belly.

 

“Of course Felicity I know, I understand what it is to be scared for your child.”

 

The doctor glanced back and forth between Oliver and Felicity.

 

“Sorry.. this is Oliver Queen.”

 

Oliver steps forward and shakes the doctor's hand.

 

“Nice to meet you doctor I'm Oliver Queen.”

 

“Nice to meet you Mr Queen I'm doctor Alvares, Felicity's OB. I'm going to examine Felicity now so I'm gonna ask you to please leave the room. ”

 

Oliver's eyes immediately flew to hers and just like that it was back to old time when they were able to have a whole conversation just with their eyes.

 

It was all written over his face and she knew that there is no way he was going to leave the room.

 

He tells her with his eyes.

 

'NO I'm not going anywhere Felicity'

 

'Oliver I'm okay you can wait-'

 

'I said no I'm not moving from this exact same spot'

 

'Okay fine you caveman'

 

And there's what he doesn't want to tell her but she sees it anyway because she just knows him that well.

 

What she sees between the lines is what makes her heart beat faster.

 

'I miss you'

 

'I was so scared'

 

'Don't you dare scare me like that again'

 

'I miss you'

 

'I love you'

 

'I love you'

 

'I love you'

 

'I'm scared'

 

'I'm scared'

 

_Oh Boy…_

 

She knows that it's futile to try to make him leave the room because he won't, so she says the doctor that it's okay for him to stay.

 

The doctor moves around the room and does her thing, preparing her tools.

 

“OK Honey as usual, it's going to be a bit cold.”

 

Felicity is wearing a knee length hospital gown which gave no other option that to roll it up under her breast, exposing her black lace panty for a couple of seconds until she covers herself with the bed shits. But those couple of seconds were enough apparently because if Oliver's red face is any indication, he got a pretty good show.

 

Silence took place in the sterile room until-

 

The doctor frowned and Felicity's heart stopped.

 

“What is it doctor?”

 

_Please god let my baby be okay!_

 

“What's wrong? DOCTOR?”

 

Felicity couldn't help the tears from falling.

 

“Felicity honey calmed down, don't panic, it happens sometimes that the baby is hiding and its position doesn't allow us to see him. I'm going to go get a more precise tool and I'll be back in a minute. Don't panic until we know for sure.”

 

She couldn't breathe.

 

“Okay okay okay.. don't panic.”

 

The doctor left the room and Felicity felt like her world was falling around her.

 

“This can't be happening… god please please not my baby.”

 

She chocked on a loud sob.

 

“Please not my baby.”

 

Suddenly Oliver was at her side, putting his arms around her, her head buried in his chest.

 

She kept whispering “please let my baby be okay.”

 

His arms tighten around her.

 

She can't stop the tears from falling. She's so scared. She hasn't held her baby in her hand yet, but she can no longer imagine her life without her little nugget. The arrival of her baby is the one and only thing that brought back happiness in her life. After what happened with Oliver on top of him leaving, she was in a really bad place, she lost that little flame burning inside of her and only time would bring it back. But how long would it take?

 

When she found out she was pregnant she was so lost at first but then it became as clear as water. She wanted it. She wanted her baby so bad. It became her main source of happiness.

 

Her baby is going to be okay, it has to be.

 

“Shhh everyting is going to be ok.”

 

_Finally!_

 

She wanted so bad to hear those words coming from him for so long.

 

She calmed herself and took heavy breaths.

 

“Is it a boy or girl?”

 

She froze at his question. Because she doesn't know.

 

How does she tell him that it was impossible for her to find if it was a boy or a girl without him by her side. She just couldn't do it without him. He was the only person she wanted to find that about with. She had many arguments with Dig Ray and her family about it, all saying that she had to accept that he might never come back and to start living. But that was the only thing that was beyond her strength. He had to be there with her. But he wasn't before so she didn't want to know.

 

Instead of telling him that she went for the basic truth.

 

“I don't know.”

 

He seemed a little confused by her response.

 

“But Felicity you hate mysteries and you have one growing inside of you.”

 

She lightly smiles at that.

 

“Yeah but some mysteries need certain keys to be resolved and I was missing a very important one.”

 

She looks down before he can catch the intense emotions in her eyes but he puts his finger on her chin and makes her look at him.

 

What she sees in her eyes takes her breath away.

 

His eyes full of tears, are on the verge of falling, and she sees deep inside of him. She sees how sorry he is.

 

“Listen Felicity, I know that we have a lot to talk about and-”

 

Once again he's interrupted by the doctor coming in the room.

 

“Okay hon we're going to check on your little nugget as you like to call it.”

 

The doctor proceeds another ultrasound, a more precise one.

 

There's a long pregnant silence until-

 

“BoomBoom BoomBoom BoomBoom.”

 

“See hon everything's fine, your baby's heartbeat is as strong as a rock.”

 

“Oh thank god!”

 

It's a whisper but they all hear it. She buries her head in her elbow, hiding the tears that are falling.

 

“Thank you god, thank you!”

 

She's so overwhelmed.

 

So many thing happened tonight she's on the verge of passing out.

 

Her aggression tonight.

 

Oliver coming back.

 

Thinking something was wrong with her baby.

 

God she's exhausted.

 

“Thank you doctor, thank you for coming.”

 

“No worries hon but you really need to take it slow, the pain you had earlier in the evening are Braxton Hicks contractions, it can be quite normal at this stage in your pregnancy but it can get worst when you put yourself in stressful situation. So do no over do it and rest. Because if you don't you'll have those contractions again and they can be really painful and ad to your back pain already.”

 

It's like a wake up call. She has to think about her health and about her baby. No more stress.

But with the life she leads, how does she do that?

 

Lost in her thought, she's shocked when she hears Oliver answer for her.

 

“Don't worry doctor she'll rest from now on.”

 

She's too shocked to reply.

 

The doctors stars to wipe the product from her belly and suddenly there's something she's dying to know.

 

“WAIT!”

 

She yells to her doctor.

 

Then she looks at Oliver and he understands it all and he agrees with her. She smiles and they both nod.

 

They're on the same page for this.

 

“Doc… can you tell me if my baby is a boy or a girl?”

 

She hears Oliver flinch next to her and sees a flash of hurt in his eyes but it's quickly gone.

 

Why would he-

 

_Oh! She said 'my baby'._

 

Well it is. It is her baby for now. He had his part in making it for sure but as long as it is in the safety of her belly it is HERS.

 

There are so many things they need to talk about that she doesn't even know where to start but it'll have to wait.

 

“Of course. I’m surprised you changed your mind. Let’s see.”

 

The doctor runs another ultrasounds and smiles.

 

“Well Felicity your nugget is a girl. Congratulations hon.”

 

A girl..

 

_Oh my god I'm having a girl!!!_

 

She can't stop the happiest tears of her life from falling; she smiles so big that she might break her jaw.

 

She cradles lovingly her belly.

 

“Hi baby girl.”

 

There's so much emotions in her voice that it cracks at the end. She's never been this happy In her life before.

 

Her heart is so full.

 

_I'm having a girl!_

 

She looks at Oliver and she sees tears falling from his face.

 

“I'll leave you too alone. Felicity until our next appointment you stay put got it? Great. Take care hon.”

 

Once the doctor is out the door, silence reigns in the room. She's still lost in her thoughts and is so overwhelmed.

 

She can't really take this silence much longer, she has to engage a conversation with him.

 

“I can’t' believe it's a girl, I always wanted a little girl first. It's crazy. I mean not that I plan on having other kids right now or with you I mean….”

 

_Oh please just shut up!!!_

 

“Three two one. What I meant to say is that I'm really happy it's a girl.”

 

“Felicity...”

 

“Look Oliver I know that this is a lot to take in, that you never planned on coming home to find me pregnant with your baby and there's some stuff that need explaining, we need to clear the air about a lot of things. I need to know how you feel about this baby and what are your intensions. I need to know if you plan on being present in my baby's life if you want to do this; or if you don't want to be a part of her life  and in that case I swear on everything I have that I won't ask anything from you that I won't need anything from you I can do this this on my own and I know that me and my baby are going to be okay. I mean my mother raised me on her own and I like to think that I turned out alright. I can do all of it by myself. This isn't about me this is about what you want. But of course you don't have to answer me now you can take your time and think about it.”

 

She looked at him the whole time she spoke and she saw some emotions here and there. The little flair of hope in his eyes is what makes her heart beat faster.

 

She doesn't know what she expects him to answer, she wouldn't know what to answer to that, but he completely threw her off guard with his response. He doesn't actually speak; he brings his hand to her cheeks and she can't stop herself and closes her eyes at the feeling of his skin on hers. He lets his hand drop to her neck, and brings his lips to her forehead. She lets out a long breath. He lingers for a long moment, neither of them willing to pull away.

 

 

 

“I missed you. I missed you so fucking much.”

 

She opens her eyes at his words. She wipes away the tears that fell from his eyes.

 

_Oh god._

 

She closes her eyes. Her emotions are all over the place and she can feel her breakdown coming.

 

_Keep it together girl!_

 

“Felicity.”

 

The way he says her name. she wants it to be the last thing she hears before she falls asleep everynight and the first things she hears when she wakes up every morning.

 

_God!_

 

“Felicity please look at me.”

 

She slowly opens her eyes.

 

She whispers his name, her eyes asking thousands of questions.

 

 

“FELICITY!!!”

 

_What the heck?_

 

She turns her head towards the door and sees a panicked Ray barging in.

 

“Ray?”

 

“Oh my god Felicity are you ok? What happened? Why didn’t call me? I was so worried.”

 

_What the heck! No No No!!_

 

She wants to go back to 30 seconds ago when it was just her and Oliver.

 

She sees Ray taking in the scene in front of him; her and Oliver pressed together, both with teary eyes. She knows that expression on his face, he’s confused and can’t make sense of what he’s seeing.

 

“What’s going on here? Queen what are you doing here?”

 

Oliver looked at Ray, and man if looks could kill they both would be dead by now.

 

Oliver completely ignores Ray’s questions and only focuses on her.

 

“I’ll let you two talk, I’ll be waiting outside.”

 

She squeezed his hand, but she doesn’t know why, it’s a natural reaction to his words.

 

Is he leaving?

 

Sensing her hesitation he reassured her.

 

“Felicity I’m just in front of the door. I’m not going anywhere.”

 

_Damn Girl get a grip!_

 

Ray doesn’t say a thing; he just moves past Oliver and takes Felicity in his arms.

 

Having them both in the same room she can’t help but think about the decision she’s made.

 

 

**5 months ago: the morning after the Central City Gala**

 

“ _Hi Oliver. What are you doing here?”_

 

_I must be fucking dreaming right now!_

 

“ _Felicity??? Why did you leave?”_

 

“ _Why would I stay Oliver?”_

 

_What??_

 

“ _Felicty I told you I’m sorry and I love you and I..”_

 

“ _And I love you Oliver. I love you like I have never loved anyone before. I love you with everything I have. I’m so terribly in love you.”_

 

_He stops breathing._

 

“ _Fe… Felicity I ..”_

 

“ _But the thing is Oliver, I don’t want to love you and I don’t want to be a women that you love.”_

 

_She says it with so much distance and acceptance it’s like she pushed a sword in his chest._

 

“ _What? Felicity No we can, we can work things out we-”_

 

“ _No we can’t Oliver. We just can’t.”_

 

“ _Why Felicity? Tell me why? What happened?”_

 

_She laughs._

 

_Why the fuck is she laughing when he- wants to cry.?._

 

“ _You want to know what happened?”_

 

“ _Yes what made you lose hope and faith in us? When did that happened?”_

“ _I lost any kind of hope in a potential relation between us the moment you took my heart and crushed it with your own hands when I walked in on you and Sara having sex in the foundry.”_

 

 

“ _That night, you hurt me like no one has ever hurt me before and god knows I’ve been hurt a lot of times. I walked down those stairs and I saw you both there on the pillars. I still have nightmares about that night, about how I took off my heels when I left because I didn’t want you to hear me, about how I cried in my car alone for half an hour before I booked a plane ticket to go home because it was just beyond my strength to face and not fall apart in front of you. You destroyed a part of myself that night, and when you decided to have sex with is is extact same moment you decided to let go of me.”_

 

_Oh god.._

 

_His mouth is hanging open and tears are falling from his eyes._

 

“ _But you know what I realized Oliver? It was never about me right? It was always about you and about your issues. It was never about me because you don’t love me; you never would’ve done that if you did. You never would’ve done that because you would’ve known how much it would’ve hurt me. But you did it anyway because you didn’t care about me and it’s OK Oliver, I promise you it is.”_

 

_He puts his hands on his face._

 

“ _God..”_

 

“ _I decided that I was done crying and that I was done running. I’ll never shed a tear again because of you. I deserve so much more than that and I’m gonna fight for what I deserve.”_

 

_His heart is so heavy and pressed against his chest, the tears won’t stop falling._

 

“ _I wish you to find love and happiness with all my heart Oliver I truly do. You’ve been through hell and you deserve your happy ending as well, but it’ll never be with me. And weather if it’s with Sara or with another woman I’ll truly be happy for you.”_

 

_He doesn’t speak._

 

 

“ _I’ll never regret what happened last night and it’s a memory that I will cherish for a long time but that’s it._

 

_Now I’m going to take time for myself and figure out want I want to do with my life. I won’t be coming back to foundry. Please understand. Please take care of yourself and be happy.”_

 

_She opens the door and motions for him to step outside._

 

“ _Bye Oliver.”_

 

_And then she closes the door._

 

_**_

_Felicity closes the door and immediately picks up her phone. Now is time, it is freaking time to move on._

 

_The phone rings a couple of times and then the person on the other line answers._

 

“ _Hello? Hi Ray. I hope I’m not bothering you - I’m In Ray, If your offer still stands I would like to work in your company. -Well I decided that I wanted more out of life.”_

 

_After Felicity hang up the phone after talking about the modalities of the job with Ray, she crawled into her bed and cried for the relationship she spend years dreaming about. She spend the rest of the day mourning the loss of the relationship that never got to blossom._

 

_Tomorrow is another day and she’ll be ready to face the world, her heart heavy but her head focus._

 

**TheHospital room**

 

“Felicity why didn’t you call me?”

 

“Because Ray I can’t possibly call you every damn time I can’t do something on my own. Ray you can’t even begin to imagine how grateful I am about what you did for me. If it weren’t for you, I honestly don’t know what would’ve happened to me. If you wouldn’t have been there for me- god I can’t even imagine what would’ve happened to me and my baby. I’ll never be able to repay you.”

 

Felicity means every single word she said. She truly loves Ray.

 

“You know you don’t have to thank me. I’d do anything for you… for both of you.”

 

It kills her to cause him pain.

 

“Ray…”

 

“I know Felicity I know.”

 

She squeezed his hands, hoping that he’d understand what she couldn’t say.

 

“What is he doing here? You said he left and wasn’t coming back? Did you tell him about the baby?”

 

Felicity doesn’t know what to answer because she doesn’t know why he came back.

 

“I don’t know Ray, I just saw him we didn’t talk. And yeah I told him about the baby.”

 

“How did he take it?”

 

She wants to laugh.

 

“I don’t know we were interrupted by the doctor and then by you… I don’t know what he thinks.”

 

She sees Ray face falling and she’s sick of causing pain to people, Ray amongst all people.

 

“As long as you and the baby are ok that’s all that matters to me. I guess I’ll let you two have an overdue talk. I’ll call you later Felicity. Take care of yourself.”

 

“I’m so sorry Ray.”

 

He doesn’t respond, he just kisses her forehead and leaves the room.

 

                                                                                                                      **********

 

 

Oliver closed Felicity’s hospital door room and instantly crumbled on the floor.

He kept it together in the room for Felicity’s sake but Fuck ! He’s a mess, his emotions are all over the fucking place.

 

He’s sitting on the floor, silent tears falling, chest tight and heart beating fast.

 

_Oh my fucking god!_

 

Felicity is pregnant.

 

He’s the father.

 

Not Ray.

 

Him.

 

He so fucking relieved.

 

Thinking Ray was her baby daddy killed him. If it weren’t for her being attacked and having to save her, he would’ve left. I mean come on, he left in the first place because he couldn’t stand the thought of not being with but still having to see her every day; how could he witness her having a baby with someone else. How could he stand by and watch her accomplish everything he dreamt about having with her with someone else? It was beyond his strength.

 

He wipes his tears, gets up and starts pacing asking himself dozens of questions.

 

Are they together?

 

Ok HE is the father but maybe they’re still together?

 

Are they living together?

 

His thoughts were interrupted by Ray coming out of the room.

 

“What the fuck are you doing here? Why coming back? What the fuck do you want from her? Don’t you think that you’ve hurt her enough?

 

Ok he was not expecting such a violent reaction from Ray. Not that he doesn’t deserve it but it should not come from Ray.

 

“Look Ray I don’t know what happened these last month but I have nothing to explain to you. Nothing. I’m here for her, and her only.”

 

Ray laughs out loud.

 

_The Fuck?_

 

“You here for her? Where the fuck were you the last 5 months when she needed you the most? Where the fuck where you when she spend every morning throwing her guts up? Where were you when I was holding her hair and rubbing her back? Where the fuck where you when she spend all her days locked up in her bedroom crying herself to sleep refusing to go out? Where the fuck where you when she would not eat a thing and it got to a point where I had to carry her to the ER? Where the fuck where you when she woke up every night from nightmares crying your name? Where the fuck were you when I found her crying on the ground because her back was killing her and she couldn’t even stand up and walk? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?”

 

Oliver was shocked.

 

He took a step backwards at Ray’s outburst.

 

“She’s been through hell the last months, she is finally in a happy place right now, she is happy about her baby don’t screw things up.”

 

“OUR BABY !”

 

_WO! Where did that come from?_

 

Ray looked at him with a sad smile.

 

“No Oliver, that’s the thing, it’s your baby if she wants it.”

 

Ray turns around and leaves.

 

_Is what he said true?_

 

He feels sick to his stomach at the image he depicted, at the thought of Felicity in such a bad state.

 

_Oh my God what have I done?_

 

“Nothing that can’t be fixed; or at least I hope so.”

 

He closes his eyes at Dig’s voice.

 

“How much of that did you hear?”

 

“Ray wasn’t being quite discreet.”

 

“Yeah he wasn’t.”

 

Oliver looked at Dig and something clicked.

 

“You knew? You knew didn’t you?”

 

“Knew what Oliver? You have to be a little bit more specific.”

 

It’s hard for him to say it out loud. He still hasn’t forgiven himself.

 

He might not have forgiven himself but he’s ready to take the responsibility of his actions.

 

“You knew that I slept with Sara and that Felicity saw us.”

 

Dig was surprised by Oliver’s boldness that much he can’t tell by the way his eyebrows went to his hair line.

 

“Yeah I knew. And you have no idea how bad I wanted to kill you for hurting her. I couldn’t understand your behavior towards her, why you would act like that while perfectly knowing that it would hurt her. But she made me promised to not do or say anything. So I respected her wish because I respect and love her but only god knows how bad I wanted to kill you. And before you ask I also know what happened in Central City.”

 

Oliver loudly exhaled and ran his hands on his face.

 

He has so many questions but he knows that right now Dig won’t answer any of them.

 

“Look I’m not your enemy here Oliver but I have a hard time dealing with what you did.

You know I’ve always had your back and I always will, you’re my brother, but I’ve come to really know Felicity the past years and I can’t stop myself from being in owe in front of her. She’s my little sister and there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. She is the strongest woman I know but the last months I saw her literally crumble in pieces. And that was because of you. Now what happened between the two of you is none of my business but the second she’s hurt it becomes my business and I promised myself that I will never stand by and watch you hurt her again. Oliver you have no idea how much I hated myself because maybe if I would’ve said something all those months ago none of that would’ve happened. I spend weeks witnessing you hurting her feelings and being a dick towards her using Sara, but I kept telling myself that you’d get your head out of your ass. If only I would’ve said something…--“

 

Dig stopped himself short and took a Dig breath. His eyes are full of tears and Oliver measures of much Diggle loves Felicity.

 

“You’re two of the most important people in my life and I just want you both to be happy. You could’ve have it all Oliver but for some reason that I’ll never understand you sabotaged your own happy ending.”

 

“Dig I can’t even look at her in the eyes. You know that she’s the last person I ever wanted to hurt. I never deserved her and I for sure never will—“

 

“God Oliver why don’t you let her decide about that, about what she thinks she deserves.”

 

“Cant you see that all I’ve accomplished is hurting her. She the person I love the most and as you and Ray said I’m the one who caused her the most pain. How do I live with that?”

 

Dig took a couple of steps towards him.

 

“Before you fight for her forgiveness Oliver you have to forgive yourself. It’s all about the choices you make.”

 

 

                                                                                                                             **********

 

Has been three days since that night in the hospital. Since he found out that the baby Felicity is caring is his, that the night of love they shared in Central City five months ago resulted in creating a baby.

 

Their baby.

 

Faith always has a sense of irony because if you ask him, there would’ve been no better way to create their baby. It was the perfect moment. That night still haunts him. He still has a hard time believing it happened; how every single second of their time together was pure perfection, how they made one.

 

That night in the hospital his entire life changed forever.

 

After his talk with Dig, he went outside to cool off a bit and let Dig have a moment with Felicity. When he came back into her room, she was fast asleep. She woke up several times disoriented but he reassured her and lulled her back to sleep. In the morning he went for a walk and then to grab some coffee but went he got back to the room an hour later it was empty. The nurse told him that Felicity has just been discharged.

 

He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

 

_What am I supposed to do now?_

 

 

He spend the rest of the day wandering in the city that he once considered his home but that now felt completely like a complete stranger.

 

It was over 11 pm when he decided that he’s had enough and went to Felicity’s place, but before he made a detour and went to the Queen mansion.

 

 

Once he was in front of her building, he decided against using the front dare and preferred climbing up to her bedroom window. He cursed when he found it open. She has to stop being reckless for god’s sake.

 

He found her bedroom empty but heard some noise coming from her living room.

He slowly padded until he reached her living room.

 

 

She was talking with a woman and a little girl on her tablet.

 

“Keira you have to stop worrying I promise my little girl and I are perfectly OK.”

 

_Keira?_

 

“You know I won’t stop worrying. God I still can’t believe you're having a girl, I’m gonna spoil her to death right Emma?”

 

“Yeeeessss Aunt Fee will you come here and live with us because I miss you and how am I gonna play with my cousin if you live so far away? If you come I’ll give her all my dolls I promise Aunt Fee.”

 

_Aunt? Did the little girl say Aunt?_

 

“Princess Em I don’t know if I’m gonna come back but I’ll promise I’ll see you guys more often. Did Mommy tell you that you guys are coming next week to visit me?”

 

It was funny how that little girl’s –Emma’s- face lighten up. Oliver's already smitten by the little girl toothless smile.

 

“For reals mama? Are we gonna go see Aunt Fee?”

 

“For reals baby!”

 

“Yeesssss I can’t wait to have our war kisses aunt Fee. I miss you.”

 

“I miss you too my little princess so much.”

 

Oliver hears the tears in her eyes and decides that she should know that he’s here before she starts to cry.

 

He lightly clears his throat and her head immediately flies to his direction, a hand on her heart.

 

“I gotta go I’ll call you back tomorrow.”

 

“Okay bye sis and take care of my niece Love you. Emma say bye to your aunt.”

 

“Bye aunt Fee. Have good dreams. Love ya”

 

“ I love you too baby Have good dreams. Goodnight sis love you.”

 

They all are blowing kisses through the tablet screen.

 

Felicity puts her tablet away and looks at him.

 

 

“Before you start going all grrr on me I left the window open on purpose because I knew that you were coming.”

 

He wants to laugh at how well she knows him.

 

“You should never let your windows open, not even for me.”

 

He took the final steps that separated her from his view and he suddenly found it very hard to breathe.

 

She’s slouched on the couch, her feet propped up on a big pillow, her hair in a big messy bun, her faced scrubbed clean of make up and her glasses hanging low on her nose.

 

How can she be that beautiful without even trying is beyond his understanding.

 

“Hi.”

 

He whispered once in front of her, as if speaking louder would ruin this calm atmosphere.

 

“Hi.”

 

“I didn't even know you had a sister and a niece, you never told me you had a sister, or a niece.”

 

“You never asked.”

 

Her answer was cold and piercing through his heart. But it’s the cold hard truth and suddenly Dig’s words are running back to his mind; _'What do you know about her?'_ _‘_ _H_ _ave you ever asked her_ _something about herself? About_ _her family, her friends, how she became that incredible wom_ _a_ _n?’_

 

He can’t blame her harsh tone because she has every right to be angry at him.

 

“What are you doing here Oliver?”

 

She sounds tired but most importantly she sounds exasperated and hanging on a thin string and that scares him.

 

“I wanted to talk to you.”

 

“No I mean what are you doing back here in Starling? Why coming back now? Your letter was pretty clear.”

 

 

_ **5 months ago: A week after the Central City Gala** _

 

 

_It had been a week since the morning after the gala, a week since the most beautiful night of her life, a week since she last laid her eyes on Oliver._

 

_She still stands by every word she told him that morning when he came to her house. She loves him and telling him felt so good, it freed her from a burden on her shoulder she wasn’t even aware of; but she doesn’t want to love him anymore. She’ll never regret spending the night with him; it was what they both needed. She needed that moment with him, that moment how raw honesty when they both were one hundred pour cent themselves, two young people desperately in love with each other._

 

_She can’t get his words out of her head._

 

‘ _I’m in love with you.’_

 

‘ _You’re it for me’_

 

‘ _I love you so fucking much it hurts. ‘_

 

_She's been working at Palmer Tech for a week and to her great surprise she started as the Vice President, it was challenging and she liked it cause it took her mind of off Oliver._

 

_She hasn't heard from him since she basically told him that they had to let each other go._

 

_It was a late at night on a sunday when she received a phone call from Diggle, asking her to come to the lair as soon as possible._

 

_She didn't really think and just grabbed her keys and speeded to the lair._

 

_Her mind was running wild in her car. What if Oliver got hurt?_

 

_She knows that she said that she won't return to the lair but if he needs her then there's no choice to make._

 

_She arrived there and only saw Diggle an envelop in his hands._

 

_He didn't have to say it, she knew it. It was written all over his face._

 

“ _He left didn't he?”_

 

“ _I arrived and saw two envelops waiting on your desk. One for you and one for me. He left this morning.”_

 

“ _Oh. Okay.”_

 

_She's shook but doesn't really know what to think. Isn't that what she wanted, for him to leave her life?_

 

_She took the envelop from Dig's hands but found herself unable to open it now._

 

_************_

 

_She was laying in her bed, playing with the peace of paper that Oliver left her, still unable to read it._

 

_She was so scared of what she'll find it in, of what he wrote._

 

_After what felt like an eternity she slowly opened it._

 

_Dears Felicity,_

 

_Before I met you I had a plan, I had a way I was gonna be but then you walked into my life- or I showed up at your cubicle and you changed everything._

 

_I fell in love with you._

 

_I was in darkness for so long that I gotten used to it, used to the idea that I'll never have my happy story._

 

_But with your kindness, your generosity, your compassion, your intelligence, your wit and your trust you brought me into the light. You let me know that I deserved it. You were that light. And I don't know if I still deserve that trust, if I deserve you- I probably don't._

 

_You're the person I love the most, I never felt like that with anybody, you make me want to have it all Felicity, I want it all with you so bad It kills me._

 

_All I ever wanted was for you to be happy and I now realize that I'm actually the one who caused you the most pain and I'll spend the rest of my life trying to live with that._

 

_I'm so so so terribly sorry for all the things I put you through._

 

_I can't live with myself and still be near you, still knowing that you're 10 minutes away from me physically but a lifetime away from me mentally. I need to try to figure what to do with my life and in order to to so I have to leave._

 

_Words seem so meaningless when I try to put into words what I feel for you and I hope with all my heart that during our night together you understood it all. I'll hang on to that night for the rest of my life._

 

_I have a whole damn lot of regrets from the past seven years; what I did to you is the biggest one._

 

_I'm sorry._

 

_But whatever has happened or will happen, I love you, the way that you make me feel is the best part of my life._

 

_You're the only person my heart has ever belong to and it'll always belong to you and only you._

 

_You're my always and I just wanted the chance to be yours._

 

_Oliver_

 

_She could barely read the last sentence because of the tears in her eyes._

_She blinks and they fall, she chokes on a loud sob and put her hand on her mouth, her eyes tightly closed. She holds the letter close to her heart and accept the tears that are falling. She cries into her pillow so hard. Life is so unfair. She reads the letter over and over again until she falls asleep._

 

 

**Felicity's apartment**

 

Looking at her, taking all of her in, everything made sense to him.

 

It's all about the choices you make right?

 

Well he made his choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO ? What did you think?  
> The next chapters will answer a lot of questions about what happened the 5 months and where they stand. Good times coming.
> 
> Kudos and comments :)


	9. Talk and Black roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heeeyyy guys here's a new chapter!
> 
> Enjoy!!

_3 months ago_

 

“Ray come on you can't be serious we can't! What if someone comes in and sees us.”

 

She lets out a loud moan when he sucks on a particular sensitive spot in her neck.

 

“Felicity honey it's the lunch break and it's my floor, trust me when I tell you that no one will come in. I know you want this just as much as I do.”

 

“Still Ray we can't do this in here aah- Frack Ray we really have to stop.”

 

“It's your fault Felicity really, why did you put that dress today? I watched you all morning during your presentation in front of the entire board and trust me when I tell you that I’m not the only one who noticed how incredibly well that dress suits you.”

 

He pushed her dress up and she shivered at the sensation of his large calloused hands on her skin. He pushed her panties aside and finally touched her where she was already ready for him. He slipped a finger in her wet folds and she instantly arched her back while sucking on his lower lip.

 

“Oh fuck yes.”

 

He speeded his pace and added a finger while playing with her hard and swollen clit. He knew that she was close when he felt her clenching on his fingers and her legs tremble.”

 

“Felicity let go, come for me honey.”

 

And just like that she was done; she came hard and he muffled her loud cry with his mouth, swallowing the sound.

 

He kissed her slowly, giving her the time to come down from her high.

 

“See, I generally only have good ideas honey.”

 

She smiled shyly and even after two months of dating Ray, it still amazes her how he can act like this, how they can go from two hundred degrees of pure lust and hotness to sweet quite moments; how with just a little smile and a few simple words he manages to make this easy and not embarrassing.

 

She's starting to really like Ray. They have officially been together for two months and so far things have been great. Ok she's not head over heels in love with him but maybe with time and commitment she will be. I mean they are perfect for each other. He's awkwardly funny and they just get each other.

 

_So why not?_

 

She started her job as a VP of Palmer Tech right after the Gala and she has to admit that she loves it, she loves the challenges it brings and the fact that people are relying on her, and she has to admit that the crazy hours of work keep her mind from wandering too much, which was a big plus.

 

One night they were at Ray's place late at night working on an important contract and one thing led to another, she ended up spending the night with him. It was really hard to not compare every single minute with her night with Ray with the night she shared with Oliver.

 

OH BOY THAT NIGHT!

 

But she tried not to, she really did. After about two weeks of constantly being with each other she decided to give it a try. She decided to let go of her fears and try to build something real and honest with Ray. She sometimes felt bad and guilty when her mind drifted to Oliver when she was with Ray but only time will erase those thoughts right?

 

 

They've been together for about two months and they quickly got into having sexy times at the office, which turned her the fuck on. The whole sex office has always been one of her secret fantasy.

 

She undid Ray's belt and grabbed him through his briefs and then he grabbed her waist and pulled her up, pressed on the wall, her legs tightly secured around his waist.

 

“Hold on to me tight honey.”

 

_What ? NO NO NOOOOO!!!_

 

_Why did he have to say that?_

 

_Damn !!!_

 

He noticed how she stiffened in his arms.

 

“Is everything ok? What's the matter?”

 

One of the things she loves the most about Ray is how he values her feelings and emotions and is ready to stop everything in order to make sure she's ok no matter what they're doing. It's nice to have someone care about you that way.

 

“Fuck right!! We don't have a condom! How could I forget! So stupid! Well honey then we'll have to postpone our ‘sexy get together times at the office’!”

 

Felicity was just to numb to answer. Her brain was over heating?

 

_Condom?_

 

_When’s the last time I got my period?_

 

_OH MY FUCKING GOD_

 

Ignoring Ray's worried glance she ran to her office to grab her cellphone to check on her app.

She's going crazy and starts to panic, how can she not remember when was her last period?

 

She was running when Ray caught her arms and stopped her, turning her to face him.

The gravity of the situation finally reached her brain and her eyes immediately began to fill with tears.

 

“Felicity what's going on? You're scaring the crap out of me. Talk to me.”

 

He cradled her face so lovingly it made her eyes close and the tears fall.

 

“Talk to me.”

 

“I – I can't – I can't remember when was my last period. I can't remember if it was last month or the month before I just can't remember. My god how can something like that happen to me. I've always been so careful and I'm never ever late.”

 

She chocked on the last word and brought her hand to her mouth.

 

“So what? You can't remember when wa- Oh?! OOOOOHh!!”

 

It suddenly hit him what was the meaning behind her words.

 

She opened her eyes to meet his confused ones. But in the blink of an eye the emotions behind his brownish eyes changed and the confusion and fear turned into confidence and strength.

 

He wiped her tears and brought her hands to his mouth, gently kissing her knuckles.

 

“Listen to me Felicity. Here is what we're going to do. We're not gonna panic. We're gonna go to the drugstore and we're going to buy as many pregnancy test as you want because I know that you're going to want to be ten thousand percent sure. Ok honey?”

 

She was absolutely terrified. Her lips begin to tremble and tears fell from her eyes.

 

“Ray…. What – what if I’m pr-”

 

She couldn't even get the P word out of her mouth.

 

“Hey Felicity, it's going to be ok, everything is going to be ok. No matter what happens we're going to be just fine.”

 

He threw his arms around her and she melted into his embrace. She has never been more frightened and more lost before but the knowledge that she wasn't alone in this made things a bit more bare-able.

 

He tightened his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

 

Felicity was shook but one of her main qualities is her ability to quickly regain her composure and put her emotional breakdown feelings aside in order to think straight and come up with a plan.

 

That is why an hour later, after she peed on 8 different pregnancy tests, they were both sited on her bedroom waiting on the 5 minutes timer to ring.

 

She didn't know what to think of this situation. She always imagined being married first and having kids with her husband, not getting knocked up with a guy she has only been dating for two months.

 

This is insane.

 

But what's even more insane is the fact that the actual idea of having a baby doesn't make her want to run the hills.

 

Is this chocking? Maybe wanting this baby?

 

She's so lost in thoughts that she doesn't hear her phone ringing, it's Ray who put his finger on her chin that shakes her from her deep thoughts, telling her that it’s time to check on the pregnancy tests.

 

_Come on Felicity, you can do this_

 

“Ok here goes nothing.”

 

She gets up to go to the bathroom to finally have an answer, but just before she reached for the door handle, Ray stops her.

 

“Felicity, I need you to understand, to really understand and accept what I'm about to tell you. If those pregnancy tests turn to be negative then it's fine no big deal it's just a scare it can happen to anyone, but if the tests are positive, I promise you that I'm not going anywhere, that I'm going to be with you every step of the way until we get to meet our baby, that I'm going to be the happiest man in the world. Having a baby this soon after only being together for such a short time can be scary and will be difficult at times, but at the end of the day, there's no one I would want to do this with.”

 

That's the probably the most beautiful and sincere declaration of love she's ever gotten and in this particular moment in time, Ray gained a big part of her heart.

 

She's deeply touched by his words and his promise.

 

She throws her arms around his neck and buries her face in it.

 

“Thank you.”

 

It's all she manages to respond.

 

They walked hand in hand in the bathroom to face 8 positive pregnancy tests.

 

**Pregnant.**

 

_I'm pregnant._

 

_I'm pregnant._

 

She puts a hand on her mouth and turns to look at Ray and what she sees is the complete opposite of what she expected.

 

He is beaming.

 

He is wearing the biggest smile she's ever seen him wearing.

 

He picks her up and she just can't help but smile.

 

“Felicity we're pregnant!!”

 

His happiness in infectious and rubbing off on her that she finds herself nodding and smiling big while tears escaped her eyes.

 

“God yes we are.”

 

 

The following week passed in a blur, she was still digesting the news and now that she officially knows that's she is pregnant she feels stupid for not figuring it out sooner; it was all in front of her; how she's been so tired, how she's been having delirious cravings, how she no longer fits in her clothes. She honestly does not understand how she didn't figure it out sooner , all the signs were right in front of her.

 

Now that the initial chock wore off, she finds herself in quite a happy place; ok she’s still chocked and a bit scared but something that feels this good can’t be bad right? It feels right and she wants this. It’s most definitely not how she pictured having a baby, but everything happens for a reason, and the universe decided that _this_ is what it has in store for her; therefore she’ll gladly accept her faith.

 

She was in the waiting room at her OB office, waiting for her name to be called.

 

Ray had the biggest board meeting of the semester so he couldn’t come but it’s ok. It really is ok, and honestly she’d rather be alone for the first meeting with her OB.

 

She met her doctor and immediately connected with her, she answered dozens of questions regarding her health, her living habits and ran some tests.

 

The doctor left to go pick up the results of the tests and came back about ten minutes later.

 

“Congratulations are indeed in order my dear, I’m happy to announce that you’re pregnant.”

 

Oh my god.

 

It’s official.

 

She really really really is pregnant.

 

_Ok Breathe Felicity_

 

“Now let’s take a more precise look of your baby and get more details about the stage of your pregnancy shall we?”

 

She could only nod.

 

_Ultrasound_

 

That was the moment Felicity dreaded the most. It makes things real, like so real.

 

She flinches at the coldness of the product despite having been warned by the doctor.

 

“Okayyy let’s see…”

 

The doctor swipes the tool across her belly a couple of times.

 

“And here is your baby, right now it has the size of jelly been so it’s normal that you don’t recognize it don’t panic. You’re 12 weeks along and your due date is-“

Felicity froze and couldn’t even hear what the doctor was saying.

 

12 weeks?

 

12 weeks? It couldn’t be 12 weeks because that would mean that she’s-

 

“12 weeks?”

 

“Yes dear you’re 12 weeks pregnant, well you’re basically 3 months pregnant.

 

_Oh lord I can’t breathe._

 

She can’t seem to manage to get air in and out of her body, she’s shaking so hard.

 

“Miss Smoak what’s the matter calm down. Here breathe with me – In and Out. Yes just like that In- and Out. Ok great dear, here drink some water.”

 

She wants to cry.

 

She cries.

 

“I’m 3 months pregnant?”

 

“Yes dear I’m positive that you’re 12 weeks along, you’re heading towards the last few days of your first trimester. Are you ok? Do want a minute alone?”

 

Felicity nodded as tears ran freely down her face.

 

The doctor gave her some tissues, squeezed her hand and left.

 

She is 3 months pregnant that means that the baby isn’t Ray’s.

 

It’s Oliver’s.

 

_Oh My God !!!_

 

_This can’t be happening._

 

This is insane.

 

She is pregnant with Oliver’s baby. They both created a baby. That one night they shared together, that one and only night she still dreams about and remembers every second of, resulted in the making of a baby.

 

This baby will be a part of Her and Him.

 

Her heart is about to explode, there’s this feeling spreading all across her chest, something she never felt before. She’s not familiar with this feeling and it messes with her head so bad.

 

She’s having Oliver’s baby and all of the sudden this pregnancy takes a whole other different dimension. No matter what, she’ll always be connected to him, they now have this indestructible link that will forever bound them to each other.

She can’t get her head around the fact that the baby is Oliver’s.

 

This is crazy.

 

What’s even more crazy is that she only has to close her eyes to picture her baby’s blue eyes, so blue, she pictures its sunny blond hair and its smile. She hopes her baby gets Oliver’s smile.

 

She loves his smile so much.

 

Crap!

 

Another wave of tears attacks her and now more than ever she misses him. She hid behind work and behind Ray and tried to forget about Oliver and not aknowledge the fact that she misses him so much that it hurts her. But now she can no longer hide and she has to admit to herself that she misses the man she’s terribly in love with.

 

She misses her baby’s daddy.

 

Oh god!

 

She puts a hand on her mouth to muffle her loud sob and let herself have a good cry.

 

After about 10 minutes she dried her tears and felt better.

 

The doctor came back, avoided any personal question regarding her breakdown and talked to her about what are the next steps in her pregnancy. She gave her next appointments and some vitamins.

 

Felicity, sat in her car, her eyes glued to the ultrasound pictures the OB gave her, while her hands her cradling her small bump.

 

“Don’t worry sweet pea, you and mommy are going to be just fine."

 

With a new found determination, she drove home.

 

 

_Today :Felicity’s apartment._

 

 

 

“What are you doing here Oliver?”

 

He looks at her with so much intensity it's like he's looking through her but she won't allow him to see anything, no she won't.

 

He doesn't answer her question; instead he pulls something from his back right jeans pocket.

 

“I stopped by the mansion before I got here, I don't really know why. I went to mine and then Thea's old nursery room and I saw this.”

 

A teddy bear.

 

You can tell it's very old.

 

“It was mine when I was a baby. My mother used to say that I wouldn't go anywhere without it that I took it everywhere with me. When Thea was born, it just felt right to give it to her, so it became Thea's Teddy bear. She called it Berny.”

 

Felicity can only watch him, her mouth slightly open.

 

“Oliver..”

 

She doesn't even know what to say, I mean it's not like she expected him to come to her house to give her a teddy bear right? She doesn't even know what she expected him to say or do but it sure isn't that.

 

“I'm so sorry Felicity.”

 

_Oh so There it is!_

 

“For what? Maybe you can be a little more specific.”

 

She can't help but feel angry.

 

She can tell that he's struggling with words and that the wheels in his brain must be overheating right now but she doesn't care, she won't let him escape this.

 

So she just stays quiet and let him have his moment to get his head straight.

 

“Do you remember when I asked you out on that date? God I never felt more nervous in my entire life. It was crazy how bad I wanted you to say yes. The truth is that I wanted to ask you out for months but I never thought it would be possible, so I put those emotions away, in a very far and locked up drawer. Sometimes it got very difficult for me to keep those feelings away, so hard; but I knew why I was denying my feelings; it was to protect you. So when it would get hard, the second I would remembered that I was keeping you at arm’s length to protect you, thing used to get more bearable and I would put those feelings back in the drawer. But at some point I couldn't deny what I was feeling anymore so I decided that maybe, maybe it could work. When you said yes, god I was so happy. The whole day I couldn't stop smiling but when I got to the restaurant I got nervous. I didn't want to screw thing up but all it took was just one look at you and everything made sense.

Felicity, I don’t know what would happen to me if something were to happen to you.”

 

They both couldn't look away from each other, it was impossible to look away.

 

Her heart was beating so fast. She doesn't understand where he's going with this. Why is saying all of this?

 

“But then you got hurt. Because of me. You were laying on that cold med table, unconscious and bleeding because of me. I got so distracted by the prospect of being with you that all my natural instincts got away. If it weren't for me you never would've gotten hurt. You. got hurt because of me!! OF ME.”

 

His voice kept getting bigger and bigger and by the end he was almost yelling.

 

“How am I supposed to live with myself if something happened to you? So yes I took the easiest road and I pushed you away. I was a cowered because I couldn't face you. I used Sara to hurt you. I knew what I was doing; I knew it would hurt you and that you'd start hating me. I wanted you to hate me. Sara was just a means to an end, nothing more. All the times I touched her in front of you and acted like a jerk I hated myself, it made me sick to my stomach, but it was necessary...”

 

She watches the tears falling from his face silently. She finally has the answers to the questions that have been haunting her for months yet she felt the same.

 

Alone. Betrayed. Unworthy.

 

“One night the hurt in my chest was just too painful, I couldn't take that longing and that WANT any longer so I got drunk. I was so wasted. It was the first time I got drunk since I came back from the island. I just wanted to forget for a moment. Forget that I could never have you. I just wanted to forget.”

 

He takes a deep breath, he looked unsure but then in the blink of an eye, he looked certain and focused and she knew what he was about to say.

 

“Sara showed up that night and you know what happened, you saw what happened. I am not going to hide behind the booze, I was drunk but I knew what I was doing. The second she left I wanted to cry. I was so ashamed. It was just another reminder that you deserve better that me. I spent the night sitting on the floor, lost, asking myself when did my life became this fucked up. I never felt that ashamed of myself before.”

 

Her throat hurts for holding back the tears.

 

“I couldn't begin to imagine facing you after that, looking into your eyes. In the morning when Diggle told me that you were living I didn't even think, I was on auto-pilot mode. When I got there and saw Palmer, I-”

 

“STOP JUST STOP STOP TALKING”

 

She abruptly stood up and started pacing in front of him.

 

“Felicity-”

 

“I SAID STOP TALKING.”

 

She couldn't take it anymore, couldn't hear him say all those things, that he was sorry and ashamed and then he'll end up telling he loves her and she just can't hear any of this.

 

“Felicity Please.”

 

“WHAT OLIVER? WH- aaawwwww”

 

SHIT!!! She felt a sharp pain low in her belly and instantly bent forward, her hands covering her belly. She saw Oliver taking long steps towards her.

 

“My god Felicity!!”

 

She held her hand, her message clear.

 

“No no stay away. I'm Fine. I'm used to this pain.”

 

“Felicity you're not fine you're in pain.”

 

“How would you know that? How would you know what can cause me pain? Are you familiar with my pregnancy? Were you there at the doctors appointments? Oh Let me think a sec? NO! You know nothing about me so stop pretending that you do. You know nothing about my baby because you weren’t there because you left. The second things become a little complicated you run. You always run and you don’t stop for a second to think about the people you leave behind Oliver. The people who care about you who stood by your side.”

 

The hurt is visible on his face but it won't stop her from saying what she has to say. It's about damn time he gets her version of the story.

 

“You're the one who wanted to take a little trip down to memory lane well let me give you my version on this little throwback on our story would you?”

 

The cocktail of emotions was hard. She felt so many different emotions it made her head spin.

 

She took long deep breaths and took a sip of water while gently rubbing her swollen belly.

 

She looked back at Oliver and saw him staring at her belly, his eyes still fresh with tears and his mouth hanging open, he looked so lost.

 

“Felicity please I don’t want to fight.”

 

He looked down and it broke a little wall around her heart.

 

No matter what had happened and will happen, that man in front of her she loves with every cell in her body.

 

“I don’t want to fight either Oliver but we need to clear he air, I need to tell you some things you need to hear these thing and keep in mind that right now all that matters for me is my baby.”

 

“Our baby Felicity.”

 

He said that in a growly whisper which created butterflies in her belly.

 

Come on Felicity be strong!!

 

“Oliver, ever since the day we met, since you revealed your secret identity to me, I put my life on hold and dedicated it to you and your crusade. I never told you but I had a boyfriend when I first met you, we were happy, but things got complicated because of all the time I spend with you saving the city at night. I would get home very late or at the wee hours of the morning, I would come as soon as you called. He accused me of cheating on him because of course where would I be and what would I do at 2 am not at home? I couldn’t possibly tell him that I was working with the arrow so I didn’t deny and let him believe that I was cheating on him. He yelled and broke things and left; Just like that I ended a two year relationship, not because of you but for you; because I believe that you’re doing good.”

 

He looked stunned.

 

“I – I never-“

 

“Please let me finish, I need to get this all out. I've been wanting to tell you this for a long time.”

 

He swallowed hard and ran his hand through his hair and nodded.

 

“I watched all these women coming in and out of your life, but Laurel is the only one who moved me. I don’t really know her but I felt so so so incredibly sorry for her because of all the things she’s been through. She lost both her boyfriend whom she was crazy in love with and her little sister. Then she finds out that her boyfriend cheated on her with her sister. You come back from the dead and you’re this whole different person, you want her, you don’t her then you want her again all the while knowing that your best friend Tommy is in love with her. Then her sister comes back from the dead and what do you do? You date her sister, the woman you cheated on her with in the first place. As if her sister coming back from the dead isn’t traumatic enough. You know that Laurel has drugs problem and you find nothing better than to rub your relationship with Sara on her face by going to diner to her place. I’m in owe in front of her, she’s a damn strong women and I wish nothing but best for her. Diggle has always stood by your side and he needed you ONCE and you weren’t there for him. Thea lost her father and brother, she got you back but she lost her mother, she had no one but you but you just left her. You left Oliver.You need to stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty for the things that were not your fault like the Gambit, your parent’s death, the fall of the glades, Slade Wilson all of that isn’t your fault. But Oliver you need to take the responsibility for your mistakes, you need to see and realize that hurting the people that are closest to you and love you is your mistake, That, is all on you.”

 

He looked like she slapped him then punched the ran sword trough his chest.

 

She’s well aware that the bluntness of her words is hurting him, it’s not easy for to cause him pain but he needs to hear this.

 

“You’ve always known I had feeling for you, you’ve always known. You tell me that you can’t be with someone you could really care about but two weeks later you’re dating Sara. Did you stop for a second and ask yourself how I must be feeling, tell me Oliver how am I supposed to feel, what am I supposed to understand? I understand that you were never taking about me and that you don’t care about me. Then you ask me out, you basically tell me you love me and push me away the next second. You tell me you can’t be with anyone yet you flirt with Sara in front of my face. I walked in on you having sex with her in the foundry. Tell me how am I supposed to feel Oliver?”

 

She can’t contain her tears anymore at the reminiscence of seeing Oliver with Sara.

 

“It takes something away from you when you see the man you love making love to another women. While you were with her, touchingher, kissing her, inside of her, did you stop a second and told yourself that it might hurt me. No you didn't. But I’m a big girl and after that I just needed some time away from you and the foundry. But you know what Oliver I never for one second blamed you or was angry at you, I blamed myself and I was angry at myself for thinking that I could trust a man with my heart; I didn’t learn from my past experiences and mistake and I kept telling myself maybe, maybe it’ll be different with him. But at the end of the day I realize that the only person I'll always be able to rely on is myself. I can only trust myself and count on myself. I also wasn't angry at you because I simply didn't have the right to be angry with you. We were never together, you never promised me anything. I had the right to be hurt because my feelings were hurt but I could only blame myself, I trusted it was my mistake not yours.”

 

She sits down and strokes her belly.

 

“I believe that everything happens for a reason, and it may not be how I imagined this happening but it is happening and I have to think about my baby girl.”

 

He looks at her, unashamed of the tears falling from his blue eyes.

 

“I was so scared when I found out I was pregnant, I was terrified because I wasn't ready to be a mom under those circumstances, I always imagined being happily married and settled, not with someone i've been seeing for about 2 months. When my doctor told me that I was 3 months pregnant… god Oliver my whole world crushed, because it only could've been you. So I had to tell Ray that the baby wasn't his.”

 

She cries harder now.

 

“You have no idea how I hated myself for taking this away from him. When I took the test and found out I was pregnant, he threw me in the air, told me he was the happiest man in the world and that there's no one he would want to do this with; he promised me that he would be with me through all of this. When I got home that night and he was waiting for me with dinner, candles and ice cream, there was a minute during which I genuinely contemplated the idea of not telling him the truth. I thought that it could work, that Ray would be an amazing father and would always be there for the both of us. But it would not' be fair to anyone. To him. To my baby. To me. To you. I never ever felt that ashamed, that guilty and that bad in my entire than when I looked into his happy eyes and told him that the baby wasn't his. I saw and heard his heart break in pieces right front of me. But of course because it's Ray a,d he has the biggest heart ever he said that it didn't his promise and that he wold help me through my pregnancy. It actually made me feel worse. So we ended thing friendly with the hugs and I spend the night crying on his shoulders. A lifetime would not be enough to thank for everything he's done for the both of us.”

 

She laughs bitterly through her tears.

 

“Sometimes I wish I would've met Ray 3 years, we'd be married with kids by now I'm certain of that.”

 

She wipes her tears and stands walking through her living room, rubbing her belly.

 

“It took me by surprise the amount of love I felt for my baby on the first ultrasound. I wasn't expecting it. It's so powerful and intense, it burns inside of me. There's not a single thing in this world that I wouldn't do for her. Nothing. I'm so terribly in love with and I can't wait to hold her and take her into my arms. My doctor said something that stayed with me; I was asking her if it was normal to feel this way about someone I haven't even met and if this feeling of protectiveness I feel is common; she told me that you become a mother the second you find out you're pregnant. That is so true. I can't put into words how much I love this little sweet pea growing inside of me, it's something I never felt before. So today my only concern is her. And Oliver you're her father am that is something I'm never going to take away from you. So if you want to be a part of her life then we'll figure things out and we'll make things work. If you don't then you don't. But please Oliver I just don't want to fight ok, no hard feelings no grudges no nothing. We start fresh and we try to repair our friendship. It'll take time and effort but it's worth it. We're doing this for our little girl. What do you say? Friends?”

********

 

Oliver is numb.

 

Right at this moment he wanted to disappear from the face of the earth. He wanted to escape her gaze and the undeniable truth of her words.

 

She seemed to have finished her monologue and he knows that she needed to get this out, to tell him what's on her heart. He thinks that there's other things she'll tell him. He kept playing her words over and over again. He's going to played them in his head for a long time that he knows for sure.

 

Fuck !

 

No one has ever talked to him this way. No one has ever confronted him to his actions like this. People have always been afraid to be straight forward with him, everybody but her.

 

He never measured the extend of how much his past actions hurt her.

 

God Felicity I'm sorry.

 

He's lost in thoughts and almost forgot that she was in here until her soft teary voice called his name.

 

“Oliver? So… Friends?”

 

_Friends?_

 

He doesn't know if he wants to laugh or cry or break everything in front of him.

 

Friends?

 

"No I don't want to be friends with you. What I want is YOU, I want to marry you, I want you to become my wife. I want to fall asleep every night with you and our baby girl safe in my arms and wake up to your warm embraces. I want 3 am baby feedings, I want first day at school, I want the laughs, the cries, the fights, the memories, and the unconditional love that comes with building a family together, I want the whole damn thing. I want it so bad it hurts. From the second I saw your bare belly in the ambulance, it opened up a door in me that I thought I closed the day I got back home from the island. It made me want, hope, long. When you told me I was the father the swell of protectiveness that rose deep in my bones completely threw me off guard but I know why. During this mesmerizing beautiful perfect night we shared we created a baby, our baby, a part of me mixed with a part of you and I want this Felicity, I want to be a part of my kids life, I want to be involved in every single aspect imaginable in her life. I want to be involved in your pregnancy, I want to go to the doctors appointments, I want to know what your craving, how you're feeling, how you picture her room, what name you're thinking about. I want it all. You're her mother and I'm her father. I'm not going anywhere Felicity and you have every right to not believe me and there nothing I can do about that only time will prove you how sincere I am. We still have thousands of things to talk about and to figure out but we have all our time. I know things between us won't change like that and I don't expect you to believe me and agree with me, but I'm gonna fight till my last dying breath to get you to fall back in love with me. I'm gonna fight for my family Felicity, for you and our baby girl.”

 

He finished out of breath and his heart pounding out of his chest.

 

There is was.

 

She's been honest with him so the least he could've done was being honest to. He said all of it with his eyes firmly staring at her. He watched her tears silently falling as he spoke. He saw her insecurities, her doubt, her strength, her love, but he knows that he was an open book in front of her, she had a ticket the deepest places in his soul. Only her will ever get this ticket.

 

He watched her struggle with words, wiping her face.

 

“Felicity I don't expect an answer from what I just told you. I just hope that you'll let me prove you that I'm here to stay and yes I think that we should start fresh so I would like to be your friend.”

 

“Oli-”

 

She was cut off by a knock on her door.

 

“I'll be right back.”

 

she whispered and than went to open the door.

 

“Who is it?”

 

She looked through the peephole but saw no one.

 

Oliver was immediately by her side looking through the door himself.

 

His gut never betrayed him before and right now his gut is telling him that something is wrong.

 

“Step back Felicity.”

 

She did and he opened the door but no one was there.

 

On the floor was a white box with Felicity written in big red letters.

 

Oliver closed the door and out the box on the kitchen island.

 

“Are you expecting something?”

 

The sudden tension erased the emotional declarations they just delivered.

 

“No no I don't think so.”

 

“Can I open it? I don't mean to soun-”

 

“Oliver Open the box.”

 

Before he did he took a look at her, her big messy bun, her clear face, her blue eyes, her swollen lips, her pyjamas, and his daughter in her belly.

 

God it feel sgood to say it.

 

His daughter.

 

Felicity cleared her throat and he slightly blushed

 

In the box, he found a dozen of black faded roses and a note that made all his blood run cold.

 

 

**'My sweet beautiful Felicity, soon you'll be mine, soon he'll be hers.'**

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So? what did you guys think?   
> please comment your thoughts and idea!
> 
> THX XOXOOOO
> 
> OLICITYYYYYYY all the way


	10. Partners?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here's a new chapter!
> 
> Enjoy fellas!
> 
> Team Olicity

 

 

Previously on It's all about the choice you make.

 

In the box, he found a dozen of black faded roses and a note that made all his blood run cold.

 

‘My sweet beautiful Felicity, soon you’ll be mine, soon he’ll be hers.

 

 

“Oliver, what’s inside of the box?”

 

He was starting to scare her, he was on full arrow mode, all his body tense and still, his hands in tight fists and she’s sure that if looks could kill boy…. 

 

“Oliver you’re scaring me what is it?”

 

He gives her the box and when she sees the black faded roses and reads the note, she shivers and throws the box away from her.

 

_Oh my god!_

 

“That’s sick who would send me something like that?”

 

Why would someone send her something like that? That’s so twisted. Her first thought is about her sweet pea, is this about her baby? She’ll have to protect her baby more than anything. Well it may be nothing, just a stupid joke or whatever but if it’s not-

 

She’s feeling very dizzy all of the sudden and sees Oliver slightly blurry in front of her.

 

“Hey hey hey Felicity!! Are you ok? Come on take a sit”

 

In less than a second he was at her side, holding her straight and guiding her to the couch to sit.

 

“Felicity?”

 

The worry and the fear in his voice was so intense, she never heard him like that.

 

“I’m fine Oliver I just need a minute. Could you get me a glass of water please?”

 

“Yeah sure just a second. Is that all you need?”

 

She nodded and he went to get the glass of water but was back in a flash.

 

“Here drink.”

 

The cold water in her throat felt like heaven. She gave the empty glass to Oliver and took some deep breaths.

 

“You’re sure you’re ok?”

 

“Yeah Yeah I’m ok I’m fine.”

 

She isn’t fine, she is terrified by this note. 

 

_ Who can it be?  _

 

“I don’t know yet but I’m going to find out who it is.”

 

She didn’t even realize she spoke out loud, but the venom in his voice made her look at him. He was staring at her belly.

 

“Oliver…”

 

As soon as his name left from her lips he stood up and distanced himself from her, his phone in his hand.

 

“Oliver stop! Look at me.”

 

With His back to her, He dropped his head with a loud sigh and slowly turned to face her.

 

“Don’t do that Oliver, I know what you’re thinking and I want you to stop thinking that. We don’t know anything yet and you’re already blaming yourself. Stop.”

 

His stare was so intense and raw that she almost felt naked.

 

“I need to call Dig.”

 

She nodded. She wasn’t gonna push it.

 

_Yeah and I need to call Ray._

 

“Why would you call him”

 

_ Great! Thanks to her non-existent brain to mouth filter. _

 

The obvious Jealousy in his voice did weird things to her stomach.

 

_Okay Felicity stay cool!_

 

“Because Oliver that’s something he’d want to know and he’ll be mad if I don’t tell him.”

 

He only nodded his lips in a tight line.

 

They both made their call and waited for them to come.

 

She was laying on her lying on her couch, doing her best to not panic while Oliver was fusing, checking all her windows and security system.

 

The atmosphere is heavy between them considering what they just talk about and it seems as life wouldn't let them have a proper conversation. As soon as they start to talk something interrupts them. 

 

She couldn't believe what Oliver just told her. It all felt like a sort of dream. She was  dreaming right? 

 

Did he really say all of that?

 

I want you to be my wife

 

I want to fall asleep  every night with you in my arms/

 

I want  a  loving  united family.

 

FAMILY.

 

That 's a word she always feared using because she was afraid she's become obsessed with it. 

 

She wants it so bad.

 

She wants to have her own family.

 

Can she trust Oliver now? 

 

He was sincere and she knows without a shadow of a doubt that he meant every single word he spoke.

 

She still can't believe he opened up his heart to her like that.

 

She's lost.

 

She wants to believe what he is saying but can she afford to be  disappointed and hurt again? Is she willing to take that chance? 

 

Her baby is in the equation now, she's not alone anymore and she has to think about her baby first.

 

God she wants to believe him so bad.

 

She can't lie to herself she's still attracted to him.

 

She still loves him and she craves him like she never did before. She's hyper aware of his presence and his every move. The way he express the need to protect them, the way he looks at them … boy ...

 

She's shaken from her thoughts by Oliver tensed voice. 

 

“I need to check upstairs. Check the windows lock and see if everything is normal. Is that ok?”

 

She knew he was just asking for her permission to go upstairs out of politeness because even if she refused he’d go.”

 

“Yeah sure go ahead. Just Thea is asleep in her room so try to be quite when you get close to her room. It's the last one on the right.”

 

She didn’t hear any response for him so she turned in his direction. He stood in all his tall glory frozen, his mouth slightly hanging open.

 

“Thea… Thea lives here?”

 

“Yeah she does.”

 

“When – since when does-“

 

He stuttered and then took a deep breath.

 

He’s so endearing when he looks unsure and  taken aback .

 

“She moved here shortly after you left. She sometimes spends the night at Roy’s but ever since we found out that she’s going to be an aunt she hasn’t left my side.”

 

She couldn’t help but fondly smile at the thought of Thea, she loves that girl. She strokes her belly with the soft smile still on her face and a little laugh.

 

“God she’s gonna spoil that little girl so much.”

 

Oliver for one looks.. he looks she doesn’t even know how to describe his expression- confused? Choked? Grateful? Happy? Surprised? She doesn’t know, it may be a mix of all those emotions so let me tell you that his face is a bit funny.

 

“Oliver? Upstairs?”

 

He clears his throat and looks around sheepishly.

 

“Hum yeah hum upstairs right.”

 

***

 

“Everything seems to be ok upstairs.”

 

Oliver was still trying to process what happened during the last half hour. Finding this sickening note, finding out that Felicity and Thea were living together and of course his conversation with Felicity, listening to all she had to say to him.

 

Truth be told he had no idea what he was going to say when he came to her house, he had no plan. He of course expected a conversation but he had no idea what he would answer to whatever she'd say simply because he was still processing everything and he didn't know what to do. When he first came into her house he was mad at her for letting her windows open late at night but the second his eyes found her it all vanished away.

 

He was mesmerized by the sight in front of him, finding her in her jammys, laying on her couch with all that food surrounding her, her messy bun and her signature glasses hanging low on her perfect nose; he never saw her like this and it seemed very intimate and created this feeling of domesticity deep in his heart.

 

He lightly smiled when his saw the she used her belly to hold her tablet. For a moment he looked at her belly not really paying attention to what she was saying to the person she was face timing with until he heard the tears in her voice.

 

Not knowing that she had a sister and a niece only accentuated this guilt for never asking questions about her family and friends, for never letting himself ask the questions he always wanted to ask but was afraid to ask; simply because he wanted to distance himself from her on a sentimental level as far as possible and getting to know her would make things less bearable for him.

 

He missed out on so much.

 

So he had no idea what he was gonna say to her.

 

So for once he threw away his walls and opened up to her.

 

Boy that he did!

 

He didn’t plan on telling her all of that. The second she was done talking his heart was about to explode with love for her. He wanted to cry, to kneel in front of her and apologize until his last dying breath. Listening to what she said, realizing how deeply his actions hurt her he wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.

 

Listening to her doubt herself, doubt her worth and what she really means to him he couldn’t help but tell her the whole truth.

 

So no he didn’t plan on telling her that he wanted to marry her and all the things he said about them being a family.

 

It was all so spontaneous that he even surprised himself with what he said. He never thought that one day these words would go out of his mouth. He never even dared to admit to himself what it is he wants. He always forbid his mind to drift to these thoughts. It was the first time he accepted his wishes. He voiced out loud, to her, his deepest wishes and needs, which are basically all centered around her.

 

It’s her.

 

So yeah he opened up his heart with a knife and he let her see all of it. He knows she saw it. She saw it all. And it may be unfair to throw all of this in her face like considering their rocky relationship but he just had to tell her. He couldn’t help himself.

 

It was all so crystal clear now.

 

She is It.

 

He never told anyone those words and he’ll never tell them to someone else ever again.

 

Her.

 

Just her.

 

Before he could get a reaction out of her they were interrupted by the door and they found that box.

 

The second he saw what was inside of it, he wanted to crush everything.

 

So right now they have to put this conversation on hold, they'll have to wait because he needs to be in control of his emotions in order to think straight and eliminate this potential threat on Felicity and their daughter.

 

_Their daughte._

 

Damn it feels so weird yet so right to say it. It reminds him of what Felicity said.

 

_Something that feels this good can't be bad right?_

 

No it can't be bad.

 

He knows that he doesn't deserve it, he doesn't deserve to be happy but for some reasons life gave him that chance so he'll do everything in his power to be up to the task.

 

He couldn't take his eyes of off them.

 

Every cell in his body burned with the need to protect his family.

 

WOOOO

 

_His family?_

 

Where did that come from?

 

He wants it so bad, to have a family.

 

Him, Felicity their daughter. A united loving family.

 

He knows that they're not there yet but it is only up to him to prove Felicity that they can be one.

 

He looks at her and sees that despite the brave face she's putting on, she is actually terrified, and he'll do anything to take this fear away from her. She standing on her couch, stroking her belly and whispering calm southing words to their daughter.

 

After what felt like an eternity but was actually just a few minutes, there was a knock on her front door. He immediately stiffened and his body was in alert.

 

“Relax Oliver it's juts Dig.”

 

_What? How can she know it's him?_

 

“I recognize his knock.”

 

This.

 

The easiness with which she reads him and knows what he's thinking amazes him, it's creates this feeling of possessiveness within his heart. No one reads him like this.

 

No one.

 

Her.

 

Just her.

 

Still chocked from these thoughts, he didn't move when Felicity stood up to go open the door.

He shook his head and tried to clear his head.

 

Come on Man !

 

He saw Dig, Lyla and baby Sara coming in.

 

Sara immediately smiled big big and giggled.

 

“Aunt Fe Aunt Fe!”

 

“HI Baby ! How is my little princess doing?”

 

Felicity bent over to pick up Sara but she stopped mid air when holding her with a small cry.

 

He took him less then a second to be by her side.

 

“FELICITY! What are you doing? Your back!”

 

At his loud and angry voice joined by taking away Sara from her, the little girl began sobbing.

 

“Sorry Aunt Fe If I hurt you.”

 

OK he felt like the biggest monster for bringing tears Sara's eyes but in his defense he didn't mean to make her cry or scare her, he just reacted on impulse.

 

Felicity gave him a scary; scary look, then she knelled down on the floor to be with Sara eye level.

 

“No come here baby you didn't hurt me. You know that I have you little cousin growing inside my belly and she's getting bigger and bigger so I can't hold you anymore. I mean I can but not for too long. So no you didn't hurt me and your uncle Oliver here is just trying to protect her. Do you understand baby?”

 

Seeing Felicity talking like this, gentle, caring, loving and this easiness with which she's talking and calming baby Sara, made him feel weird thing.

 

She's a natural.

 

_God she'll be an amazing mom!_

 

He can't help but picture her talking like this with their kid.

 

_Their Kid._

 

God he loves this woman so bad.

 

She wipes baby Sara's tears and hugs her.

 

Damn he wants to hug HER right at this moment and never let her go.

 

“All better now ok?”

 

“Yes ok Aunt Fe.”

 

Felicity Looked at him and it was just like old times when they'd have conversation only with their eyes.

 

_-Come on Oliver apologize to her!_

 

_-Felicity I don't know how_

 

_-What the hell she's a three year old kid just say your sorry and kiss her. OMG I can't believe your scared of a three year old kid_

 

_-But what if I scare her more?_

 

_-Oliver Jonas Queen go pick up that girl and apologize_

 

_-Felicity_

 

_-NOW_

 

Diggle and Lyla were smilling to each other at Oliver and Felicity eyes conversation.

“Hi Sara! Come here princess.”

 

He picked her up as if he picked up a piece of paper and kissed her cheek.

 

“I'm really sorry if I scared you I was just worried about Felicity and I should'n have yelled. You know I love you and I didn't mean to scare you. Do you forgive me?”

 

He gave her the biggest grin he had to offer.

 

“Ok I forgive you.”

 

“Thank you princess.”

 

He kissed Sara cheek and then turned back to look at Felicity who, strangely immediately avoided his gaze. He could see her eyes glassy behind her glasses.

 

She cleared her throat and wiped her eyes.

 

“Ok come on baby I'll put you The Lion King while the grown ups talk.”

 

“YAY!!”

 

They all laughed at Sara huge enthusiasm.

 

He watched the two walk away hand in hand towards the couch.

 

He looks at them and he pictures it. He pictures his life with Felicity and their daughter, he pictures the lazy days playing and watching movies. He knows without a doubt that he'll never be able to say no to his daughter, he'll be one of those dad who can never say no to their daughter. But he doesn't care, he only cares about his girls happiness.

 

HOPE

 

That's all he has right now

 

He can only hope.

 

Hope that they'll get there, with time.

 

A throat cleared and he looked away from them.

 

“OK Oliver what happened?. Why did you call this late that we had to wake Sara up?”

 

Dig was straightforward and under different circumstances he would be a bit hurt but now right now he has to think about Felicity and their baby.

 

“Come to the kitchen.”

 

He picked up the box and showed the content and the note to them.

 

Lyla gasped and Dig cursed.

 

“How did she take it? Is she alright?”

 

The worry in Dig's voice was intense.

 

“She panicked hard and I think that she tries to keep it together. She doesn't trust me enough to show me all her emotions but I know her. She's terrified.”

 

“Of course she is, if something like that would've happened to me while pregnant… my god.”

 

Dig put his big arm around her.

 

“Do you have any leads? Have you checked the city's camera's?”

 

“No nothing it happened about 10 seconds before I called you, we didn't start any researches yet.”

 

He was talking to them but his eyes were fixed on Felicity. He hopes that she'll agree to give him a chance, he desperately wants it. He knows that she's not ready yet considering what she told him, that she wanted to start fresh and be friends.

 

He'll do it her way, they'll go at her pace, but he's not going anywhere. With this potential threat on her life he's on the edge, he doesn't know how he'll manage to take his eyes away from her.

 

Sara is tucked in her arms and they're both laughing at the screen, as if she sensed his eyes on her, she turned her head and their eyes met. She slightly smiled at him which he counts as a victory.

 

She kissed Sara's forehead and joined them in the kitchen.

 

He watched her every move and he pulled a chair for her to sit in.

 

“Thanks.”

 

He nodded and sort of smiled.

 

_Come on man!_

 

“Felicity honey how are you feeling? Are you ok?”

 

“Yeah Lyla I'm fine.”

 

At everyone's raised eyebrows she sigh.

 

“I mean yeah I'm a little creeped out, like that's totally creepy but i'm sure it's nothing, just a stupid joke so I refuse to panic and stress myself out.”

 

She was running her hands over her belly and looking at it.

 

“I can't afford to stress guys, that's one of the biggest issue I've dealt with in my pregnancy, my doctor keeps warning me about it, that I should avoid stress at all costs because it's not good for my baby. So there, I'm not gonna panic and as I told you it might be nothing.”

 

Dig exhaled loudly and kneeled in front of her and took her small hands in his big ones.

 

“Listen Felicity, it might be nothing as you said but you understand that we can't take that risk. So I don't want you to worry or think about it, we'll handle it on our own. You, you think about that my niece ok? You know that I'll never let anything happened to the both of you. Never. So whatever this is, we'll figure this out but you and my niece you rest and don't think about that ok?”

 

The love and protection that Diggle has for her is so obvious and Oliver is for one very grateful to witness that and know that she'll aways have Diggle to protect her. He kissed her forehead and squeezed her hand.

 

In that moment he envies the easiness between the two so bad; he wants to be able to go to her, kiss her, and touch her like that; but he can't because he doesn't know how she'll feel about that.

 

“Thank you, for everything. I love you John.”

 

She put her arms around his neck and he engulfed her in a familiar bear hug.

 

They broke apart when they heard the front door being opened.

 

They all turned their head and saw Ray barging in.

 

_Great! So he has a key to her place. Great!_

 

“Felicity?!!”

 

He took long steps and was by her side.

 

“Are you ok? What happened? You scared the crap out of me?”

 

He had his hands around her face and Oliver wanted nothing more than to crush them.

 

“I'm okay Ray.”

 

“The baby?”

 

“Yeah we're both fine.”

 

He stood up but kept his hand on her shoulder. He looked at Oliver and then at Diggle and Lyla.

 

“What happened?”

 

Seeing that Oliver was too busy throwing daggers at Ray's hand on Felicity's shoulders, Lyla explained to him what happened and showed him the note along the black roses.

 

“Maybe you and Thea should come and stay with me. There's no way someone could get to you in there.”

 

_What?_

 

Oliver wanted to laugh out loud.

 

So the guy thought he could come in here and act as the knight in shining armor and protect HIS family.

 

_Yeah right over his dead body maybe!_

 

Felicity looked over at Oliver and saw the fire and tension radiating from him.

 

“Thank you for the offer but I think that there's nothing to worry about, I think it's just a stupid joke and there's no need for us to come with you.”

 

Oliver didn't hide his relief at her answer.

 

“As you wish. You know that my door is always open for you and Thea.”

 

“Someone talking about me? What's going on?”

 

Thea was at the bottom of the stairs, sleepily rubbing her eyes.

 

Oliver couldn't help but smile big at the sight of his little sister.

 

“Ollie? Dig? Lyla and Ray? Okay what have I missed?”

 

Oliver spoke for the first time in a long moment.

 

“Come here speedy.”

 

He guided her to the balcony.

 

“Ollie what is it? You're scaring me.”

 

He didn't respond. He hugged her tight.

 

After a minute she pulled back from him and gave him a confused look.

 

“Ollie? Please!”

 

“Felicity received a box with black faced roses and a twisted note. Threatening, saying that she'll becomes someone's soon.”

 

“Oh my god! Is she ok?”

 

“She copping.”

 

“Speedy, I didn't know you were living with Felicity. Why?”

 

“Well it's true that you weren't really around the last past month when it happened so you couldn't really know.”

 

“I'm sorry I left.”

 

“Yeah… you had your reasons.”

 

“I never got the opportunity to ask you… you and Felicity how did it happen? Your friendship I mean?”

 

“When you left last summer after those mad men took over the city and mom died I was a mess. I already knew Felicity from when she was your EA but nothing more we never really talk before. After about a month after you left I was at verdant one night, completely wasted, I took some drugs that night. I was disgustingly throwing up in the bathroom when she found me. I passed out shortly after and – to this day I still can't remember what happened next. I woke up at her place. I was feeling really really bad from the drugs and alcohol mix and she took care of me for days. She helped me shower, she made me eat, and she talked with me, we watched movies, we went for walks. She never judged me. She didn't leave my side until I felt better. I stayed with her for about a week and during that week we got really close. She's the one who saved me Ollie, if it weren't for her I don't know what would've happened to me. She made me feel worthy and she made me feel like I belonged. This happened nearly a year ago and from that moment forward we've been attached to the hip. She's the stability I needed in my life, she's someone I can trust and rely on. She included me in her life, I met her family and friends and I just fell in love with the person she is. She really is the best Ollie.”

 

Oliver was speechless and he could feel the tears in his eyes welling up as the one in Thea's eyes.

 

_Felicity did all of that?_

 

Of course he never doubted her kind heart but hearing what she did for his sister and how much she means to her, he was dumfounded.

 

As if it was possible for him to love her more, he fell deeper in love with her right at this moment.

 

“Yeah she's the best.”

 

“I was really angry with you for leaving me. She's the one who made me see things from a different perspective, she told me that you had your own issues to deal with but that everything you did was out of love for me. That you'd do anything for me, that she believed that you had a good heart with good intentions. So day after day my anger towards you morphed into compassion and just wanted you to be ok.”

 

“I'm sorry I left Thea last summer and 5 months ago. I'm really sorry.”

 

“I know.”

 

“How come you're leaving with her now?”

 

“I was leaving alone in the loft, in this huge place all by myself and it tend to get lonely. You weren't there. I was already spending all my daytime with her and most days we stayed up very late so I would just crash in her guest room. Without really noticing I was leaving with her. She told me that her guest room was mine and that we might as well make it official. That's how it happened.”

 

He owed Felicity a whole damn much.

 

“Ollie I'm not mad at you, I just hope that when you'll go through something hard you'll be able to talk to me, or Felicity.”

 

He knew his sister well enough to know where she was headed with this.

 

“By the way you and Felicity? Where do you guys stand?”

 

There was the question.

 

“I don't know Thea, every time we start talking we get interrupted. So I don't really know. I mean i'm not getting my hopes up.”

 

He didn't really want to talk about that with Thea, he should only be talking about that with

 

Felicity. He needs to change the subject.

 

“How do you feel about being an Aunt?”

 

“God I'm so exited you have no idea. How do you feel daddy to be? I so happy for you.”

 

He can only give her an honest answer.

 

“I'm still processing the news but I feel very blessed...”

 

That was the honest truth.

 

“You know what's funny? From the beginning of my friendship with Felicity, I kept annoying her with comments about you two. She always told me that you guys were just friends and that nothing ever happened between you two. But I still kept throwing suggestive comments about you two because It was just so obvious to me and to everyone who would look at you two. It's like you two were the only ones who didn't know you loved each other. It's was just obvious with the way you looked at her. That night at the Gala in Central City Ollie I wanted to film you then make you look at yourself… You looked at her as if she held the moon.”

 

Oliver could only stare at her with his mouth hanging open.

 

“Then she got with Ray and she got pregnant so I stop bringing your name because I saw that even if she smiled at my remarks it hurt her.”

 

“Thea… why are you telling me all of this?”

 

He wasn't sure if he could hear things like that, his heart might not take it.

 

She took a deep breath and raised her eyebrows at him saying to just shut and listen to her.

 

“One night I got home late after work, I found her curled on the couch, she looked so small and fragile. She was crying so hard her body was shaking. I was really scared. I went to her she had a piece of paper in her hands, pressed to her chest. I asked her what was wrong. She looked at me and cried harder into my arms. At some point I tried to get her to look at me and I took the piece of paper from her hands. She shouted 'no' and brought back that paper close to her heart. I used to see her reading that paper countless of times but I never asked about it. She looked at me and I never ever someone look so sad and heart broken in my entire life that it brought tears to my own eyes. Then she whispered that the baby was yours.”

 

Oliver felt a tear running down his cheek.

 

“I understood it all then. She explained what happened and I felt like it was freeing her from that burden a little bit.”

 

“Th… Thea”

 

What is he supposed to say.

 

“Let me finish Ollie please.”

 

He cleared his throat and nodded at his little sister.

 

“It's not my place to judge what you did and what happened between you two and she'll probably kill me and kick me out if she ever finds out that I told you that but my point is Ollie; don't give up on her. It might look very difficult at the moment and you might not think that she'll be able to forgive you and give your relationship a chance but I believe in you guys. She's just scared to trust you with her heart again which is highly understandable, she needs time and she needs to see that your here to stay.”

 

He turned to look at Felicity in the kitchen area.

 

She's so beautiful she takes his breath away every time he lays his eyes on her.

 

“She really really could be your happy story Ollie so please don't give up on that. You deserve it more than anybody else.”

 

He was very emotional and he could find any words which would convey his feeling so he just hugged his little sister tight.

 

“Thank you speedy.”

 

“No biggie big bro.”

 

“When did you become so wise?”

 

“Well I have my moments but mostly I love Felicity I love you and I love my little niece more than anything so I just want you guys to be happy.”

 

He kissed her forehead and thanked her some more.

 

Thea went back inside but he stayed on the balcony, he needed to get his emotions on track and think for a moment.

 

So many things have been said in the last hour he has so many thoughts to clear.

 

He got really emotional when Thea brought up “the piece of paper”. He knows without a doubt what is that paper she's talking about; it's the letter he left for her.

 

He remember that he had to re write the letter a couple of times because his tears soaked the paper and made it unreadable.

 

He heard her small footsteps and felt her presence before he even saw her.

 

“Hey.”

 

It's silly how just the sound of her voice brings goosebumps to his skin.

 

“Hey”

 

He still doesn't on which feet to dance around her.

 

“How are you? People keep asking me about how i feel but I think it's only fair to ask you the same question.”

 

He was taken aback by the gentleness in fondness in her voice. She sounded a bit tired too.

 

“You know me Felicity so I don't think I have to answer that question.”

 

“Yeah I know...”

 

There was a comfortable silence between them. They were both looking at the stars.

 

“I don't think that Ray was over reacting when he suggested that you live with him. I agree with the idea of protecting you but that is something that should be my responsibility. I know that he loves you and he wants to make sure you're okay but Felicity it's my Job to protect you and our baby. That's all I know how do to so please let me do it. I keep thinking about it ever since we found that box and ok it might be nothing but I can't' take that chance so please Felicity I'm about to ask you something and I want you to think about our baby first not us.”

 

He strangely wasn't nervous. He looked at her and damn he could drawn into blue eyes.

 

“You want me and Thea to come live with you at the loft don't you?”

 

She was smiling when she said it and he found himself smiling too.

 

“As I said, you know me better than most.”

 

She took a long deep breath and he knew she was listing the pros and cons.

 

“Oliver … I don't know..”

 

“Felicity please, I need to know that I'll be able to protect you at any second. Please Felicity.”

 

“You'll end up living in the rooftop in front on my building if I say won't you?”

 

He laughed, genuinely laughed and it surprised him and by the look on her face it surprised her too.

 

“My mom my sister and my niece are supposed to come next week I don't know if I should tell them not to come after what happened. I don't want to exposed them to any potential threat, I'll never forgive myself if something happened to them.

 

He didn't expect her to say that.

 

“I think you should come live with me at the loft and I think that your family should come to visit you. Of course they will stay at the loft it's big enough for all of us. The place is very well protected and it's impossible to get in without me knowing. I'll hire extra security. Plus I'd like to meet them.”

 

She seemed pensive. So he kept quite and let her sort her thoughts.

 

“Okay.”

 

Okay?

 

Did she say okay?

 

“Okay?”

 

“Yeah okay I'll come with you. Even if I hope it's nothing I still to put all the odds in my favor, I need to be logical and even if I convince myself that it is nothing, there's this voice in the back of my head that tell me 'what if?' So yeah I'll come with you until we know for sure what it is we're dealing with. I know I'll sleep better with you. I mean sleep to sleep like rest and close my eyes not sleep like sex.. okay i'll shut up now.”

 

She's trying to hide her blush and her embarrassment and she's adorable.

 

“So you'll come to the Loft?”

 

“Yes Oliver but we'll have to talk about living arrangements and stuff because I was planing on starting to prepare her room so ...”

 

“Yeah sure whatever you want.”

 

“Oliver about what you said earlier...”

 

She hesitated, looked at him straight in his eyes and she took a shaky breath.

 

“I don't think I'm ready to talk about that yet. I'm sorry I just can't right now.”

 

“Felicity it's okay we have time to talk about that. Right now the only priority is our daughter and make sure that you two are safe and sound Just know that I meant every single word I told you. Felicity I want to do things right, I here for you and i'm here in this with you. I don't know what the future hold for us but I hope with all my heart that no matter what happens we'll be partners, for our baby.

 

He wasn't disappointed by her answer because it was a fair answer. She needs times so he'll give her time. Right now he's relieved she decided to come with him, that's all that matters. He'll be able to protect his girls.

 

He was looking down at her belly with so many intense emotions.

 

“Give me your hand Oliver.”

 

_What?_

 

“Your hand. Give it to me.”

 

He didn't talk he just gave her his hand and his skin burns from the contact with hers.

 

What she did next completely knocked the wind out of his lungs.

 

She slowly guided his hands to her belly and for the first time he felt his daughter under his palm.

 

He closed his eyes and savored the moment.

 

He shyly moved his fingers and damn that was the best feeling in the world.

 

It was his daughter just under his touch.

 

The moment was pure perfection, the night, the stars, the three of them connecting, sharing one of the best intimate moment he ever got to share with someone.

 

He'd die a happy man right there.

 

“She is your daughter, she's yours to touch too Oliver.”

 

She whispered that sentence with so much love … he wanted with everything in him to kiss her right now.

 

“You're beautiful. It's not even fair how well pregnancy suits you.”

 

She blushed and he saw that blushed spreading to her chest, close to her full breasts.

 

She nodded with teary eyes.

 

“Thank you, remind me of that when I won't be able to get up by myself ok?”

 

He smiled so fondly that he's sure his eyes are screaming 'I love you'.

 

“What happens now?”

 

He thought about her question for a seconde.

 

“Now you're gonna go get some sleep because you're tired, I'm gonna talk a bit more with Dig and I'll send everyone home.”

 

“Ok...”

 

She yawned and rubbed her eyes.

 

He felt her body under his hand and it was just amazing. His thumb was moving across her belly . He wants to feel her skin so bad, have a direct connection with her belly.

 

All of the sudden, Felicity took his hand away and lifted her shirt to put his hand back on her bare belly.

 

“Oh my god...”

 

He couldn't stop the tears from coming to his eyes.

 

“It's amazing right...”

 

He couldn't get a word out of his mouth, Felicity looked back at him and saw his tears runing down his cheeks.

 

“Oh Oliver..”

 

She wiped his tears with her small hand and  no force in this planet would've kept him from closing his eyes.

 

This moment was pure bliss and was marked into his heart and soul.

 

He took his free hand and put it on her neck. He heard gasped.

 

He brought her closer kissed her forehead and let his lips linger for a long moment. It's unbelievably sweet how he has to bend his knees because of how small she is. 

 

When he drew back she had a small smile on her face.

 

“Partners?”

 

He beamed at her and nodded.

 

“Partners.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know so much fluff but I need it right now especially after last weeks episode.
> 
> So your thoughts? 
> 
> Comment and Kudos make my day !!


	11. sexual tension?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE BACK !
> 
> Hope you like this chapter.
> 
> Like and Comment as usual!
> 
> Reminder: english is not my first language
> 
> HERE WE GO
> 
> (ps: who else has put their life on hold wanting for 5x20? OH MY GOD)

 

 

 

Felicity was a nervous mess. Kiera and Emma are coming to Star City and they should be here at any minute now and she's totally freaking out.

 

Of course she's thrilled that they're coming, she missed them and she can't wait to see them but there's a part of her that's nervous about Oliver meeting Kiera. She dreads their meeting a lot.

 

Kiera knows her better than almost anyone and she's scared that she's going to see right through her.

 

She's been checking everything around the loft for the twentieth time.

 

“Felicity relax it's just Kiera and Emma. Why are you so nervous?”

 

She turns to look at Ray who's sitting on one of the chairs in the dining table of the loft.

 

“I'm not nervous Ray I'm just excited.”

 

She's also nervous because Oliver's not here yet and he said that he'll come home to welcome them with her.

 

Home.

 

The loft has been her home for the last past week and strangely she loves it. She loves this place. This place is gorgeous and she really doesn't mind living here for now, as long as they haven't found a lead on the person who sent that box.

 

The process of moving has been quite interesting with Oliver and Ray stupid silent contest of who'd hold the most weight, and Oliver constantly watching her every move. His glares at her or even yells when she'd start to move things by herself.

 

_Felicity put that down!_

 

_God why are you so stubborn?_

 

_Felicity stop!_

 

She smiles remembering some of his antics while they were moving some of her stuff.

 

His protectiveness is rather endearing and melts her heart a bit. But most of the time he just makes her heart beat so fast and he sets her skin on fire.

 

Things between them are better you can say. There is still a lot of issue to deal with but she tries her best. 

 

Since that moment they shared on her balcony things changed between them. It was a silent agreement between the two that they were in this together for their baby. They were partners.

 

Thinking back to this moment, she can't help but feel her cheek redden. It was so intimate; even more intimate then any kind of actual sexual act because they both laid themselves emotionally naked in front of each other. They connected. All three of them were one.

 

That moment was graved into her memory for the rest of her life.

 

It's the small quiet moment like those that makes her fall in love with him even more.

He was always going to be there, whether she gives him a chance and they try to be together or not, he's her baby daddy. They have an eternal and indestructible link. Their daughter.

 

That's why she's nervous about him meeting her family. 

 

_What if they don't like him?_

 

_Worst._

 

_What if they like him?_

 

He's been unbelievably sweet and thoughtful to her since they're living together. He was always making sure she had everything she needed, that she was conformable. He really was the best.

 

She tries her best to avoid any awkward situation like him walking on her in a towel or her walking on him all sweaty doing push ups.

 

_No not thinking about sweaty Oliver._

 

I mean she's a woman who hadn't had sex in a few months, and she's pregnant!!! Her hormones are all over the place so thinking about a naked sexy Oliver….

 

_Damn!_

 

So even if things are getting better between them she still tries to avoid spending too much time alone with Oliver mostly because of her crazy hormones.

 

Speaking about him, he should've been back home a while ago now to be there when her family arrives. He said that he was going to be there but maybe he forgot.

 

The front door being opened is what shakes her from her thoughts. She looks up to see Oliver, in all his handsomeness coming in. He instantly smiles that special smile he reserves just for her and just like that her insides melt. 

She can't help the butterflies in her stomach whenever she lays her eyes on him.

 

Who can blame her? He's a fine specimen.

 

He walked towards her.

 

“You have nervous face on. Why are you nervous?”

 

She smiles at how well he knows her.

 

“You made it! I thought you might not come.”

 

He frowned for a second then puts his hand on her shoulder.

 

“I told you I'd be here. I'm here.”

 

She can only smile.

 

“Now tell me why you are nervous.”

 

“No it's nothing I just hope that you'll get along with them that's all.”

 

He chuckles.

 

“Don't worry about that, I'm sure everything's going to go just fine.”

 

“That's what I keep telling her.”

 

They both turn to face Ray and Felicity winces.

 

“I hope it's ok I called Ray.”

 

“Um hum.”

 

She knows that Ray is still a sore spot for him but he's trying his best to be cordial around him for her only sake and she loves him all the more for that.

 

Thea breaks the male eye contest between the two.

 

“I can't wait to see Kiera and Em, but it's a shame that your mother couldn't come.”

 

Oliver gives her a funny look.

 

“Your mom is not coming?”

 

“No she couldn't get out of work. She'll come next time.”

 

“Why didn't you tell me?”

 

He looks a bit upset.

 

“Because I didn't think you'd want to know Oliver.”

 

“Of course I want to know.”

 

Yeah he's upset.

 

“OH… well I'm sorry I'll let you know things like that from now on.”

 

“Yeah please.”

 

Felicity and Oliver were staring at each other and upset Oliver is not helping her case because she literally wants to jump him, she is basically eye fucking him and she is feeling her face redden. 

 

_Is it getting hot in there?_

 

She really needs to get away from him like now.

 

Diggle clears his throat and now she hopes the floor would split open and take her away from Dig's knowing gaze.

 

“Felicity? Someone's knocking on the door.”

 

_What?_

 

She didn't even hear the knock on the door.

 

“Oh… right.”

 

She turns around from Oliver but he gently grabs her arm and pulls her to him.

 

“Felicity, take a deep breath and relax. It's going to be ok.”

 

She can't be this close to him without wanting to jump him.

 

_Just go already!_

 

“Yeah ok.”

 

And why the hell does her voice sounds so breathy?

 

She walks to the door and opens it to find Kiera and Emma.

 

“AUUUUNTT FEEEEEE!!!!”

 

“HIIII BABYYYYY!!!”

 

Felicity is so happy, she smiling so big that her cheeks hurt.

 

She kneels down over to her niece's height and hugs her tight.

 

“I missed you so much princess...”

 

Felicity has tears in her eyes.

 

“I missed you too, so much.”

 

Felicity lets go of her niece, straightens up and looks at Keira who looks like she about to cry, actually the tears are falling.

 

“Hey asshole.”

 

“Hey dickhead.”

 

They both ran to the other and held each other close for a long moment.

 

“God I missed you so much… Thank you for coming.”

 

“I missed you too sis… I'll always be there for you.”

 

“Now let me take a look at my niece down here would you. Oh god you've gotten so big since the last time I saw you!”

 

Felicity laughed and took a step back. Kiera bent over and hugged her belly. Both her and Emma kissed it.

 

After a long minute of the three, or four actually, of them hugging they finally looked up.

 

Emma immediately ran to Ray. 

 

“Robot Ray! UP UP UP.”

 

“HEY Princess Em!”

 

Felicity smiled watching them; Emma loves Ray and loves his gadgets even more she's been hooked over Ray since she first met him.

 

Kiera went to hug Thea and Dig.

 

“Hey Thea it's so good to see you honey.”

 

“Hey Kiera, it's good to see you too. “

 

“Uncle Dig Diggleeee !!”

 

Dig takes Emma from Ray's arms and throws her in the air.

 

“How you doing baby girl?”

 

“I'm so happy! Where's Sara?”

 

“She's at home with Lyla, you'll see her later.”

 

Dig gives a huge bear hug to Kiera.

 

“John god every time I forget how big you are!”

 

“Yes mommy he's is the biggest!”

 

Felicity, Thea, Dig, Kiera and Emma are all closely gathered, all laughing and talking. Felicity couldn't be happier. Suddenly she feels someone’s eyes on her and it's then she remembers Oliver and she looks around for him.

 

He is near the balcony, far from them watching them and the expression on his face breaks her heart. 

 

_Why does he look so sad?_

 

Her smile drops and she lets go of Kiera’s embrace, she walks to him.

 

“Oliver?”

 

He looks at his feet and clears his throat, he's trying really hard to hide his emotions but she sees right through him. 

 

“Why are standing there by yourself, come on!”

 

She knows he must be feeling left out. They all have met and know Kiera and Emma but him. They all are very close, Kiera and Emma came a couple of times in the past months. Thea has basically been living with Felicity so of course by now she knows Felicity's family very well. Dig knows all about her story with Kiera and from the first time they both met, their love for Felicity is what brought them closer. She dated Ray so… So yes they all know each other and are comfortable around each other with hugs and kisses but he never met them and never heard anything about them.

 

He really must be feeling left out. She doesn't want him to be feeling that way, it's one of the worst feelings ever. 

 

She grabs his arms and she knows they both feel the fire from the contact of their skin.

 

She holds his hand and leads him to the small group.

 

“Kiera? I'd like you to meet Oliver.”

 

Felicity knows her sister so she knows that she's on guard, seizing him.

 

Kiera gives a knowing look to Felicity that of course everyone sees and she emphasizes her words.

 

“Oliver? I'm Kiera, Felicity's sister. Well it's nice to finally meet you and FINALLY put a face on an already familiar name.”

 

“Oliver Queen nice to meet you, I'm afraid I can't say the same about you however I hope we may change that.”

 

He's trying; she can tell he's trying to put that perfect 'Moira Queen Raised Me' face on.

 

“I hope so too.”

 

Felicity is on the edge as she looks at the two seizing each other.

 

_Boy…_

 

“Come here princess.”

 

She gives her arms to Emma as an invitation to jump into  them .

 

The second she did that she felt Oliver tense beside her and he knowingly discreetly cleared his throat.

 

She quickly looked at him and whispered that she was ok to hold her.

 

Emma hops into her arms and giggles while she threw her little arms around Felicity's neck.

 

“Oh baby I can't believe how big you've gotten. I would like you to meet Oliver, he's my friend and he's the daddy of your little cousin in my belly.”

 

Emma looks behind Felicity and finds Oliver.

 

“WOW, you look like a Disney Prince!”

 

They all laugh at Emma amazement in front of the ever handsome looking Oliver, she was strastrucked.

 

He looked a bit embarrassed and she swears she saw his cheeks redden a bit.

 

“Thank you Emma.”

 

“Are you a real prince? OH!!! Are you aunt Fe's Prince? Because she's a princess just like me and she needs her prince and it's you who put my cousin in her tummy so you love her right? Because mommy told me that it's when two people love each other very very much that the daddy puts the baby in the mommy's tummy.”

 

_KILL.ME.NOW_

 

Felicity wanted to die of embarrassment.

 

She heard Oliver's quick intake of breath beside her and she silently cursed.

 

Let a child put into words in the most natural way what grow ups are afraid to.

 

Emma's innocence and logic is so endearing and it's a breath of fresh air but right now she's sending eye warning to Kiera to please say something.

 

“Em baby-”

 

She thanks the gods when Kiera starts to speak but she's shocked when Oliver interrupts her. 

 

“Yes Emma I love princess Felicity here very much and I'm the one who the baby in her tummy but I'm afraid I'm not her prince yet.”

 

_Yet?_

 

 

Felicity's mouth hang open and she saw the funny looks between Thea Dig and Lyla, even Kiera 

 

_Hell!!_

 

Did he just say that in front of everyone?

 

He? Mister Oliver I don't talk about my feelings Queen?

 

“But Aunt Fe why? He should be your prince! He looks just like a prince and he said he loves you.”

 

_WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME???_

 

What is she supposed to answer to that?

 

“Hummm… you see baby..-”

 

She felt Oliver's hand on her shoulder to silence her. 

 

“Emma come here.”

 

He took Emma's from her arms, mostly because he didn't want Felicity to hold her any longer because of her back.  Seeing Oliver holding Emma does weird thing to her stomach.

 

“I told you that I wanted to be her prince, and the prince has to fight to prove the princess he loves her.”

 

Her big eyes lit up at his words

 

“Oh Yeah! Mission prince Oliver and princess Felicity!!!”

 

They all laughed and Felicity could only stare at Oliver.

 

_What is he doing to me?_

 

 

 

 

Two hours later, she is lounging in the living room by the fire place. The girls have retrieved to their room to get some rest while waiting for Dig who went to pick up diner. 

 

So far Felicity was thrilled, things were going great, she knows that Oliver feels a little bit left out. She can only try to include him but he's Oliver Queen so…

 

Right now she's on the couch, stroking her belly, she feels a bit tired and her feet hurt like a bitch. She attempted to rub them but she quickly understood that she couldn't when she felt a sharp pain in her lower back.

 

“Ow shit!” 

 

“Felicity?!”

 

Oliver was crouched in front of her in less than a second.

 

“What is it? Are you ok?”

 

She wants to disappear and melt in his eyes.

 

His has such beautiful eyes.

 

“Felicity???”

 

“Yeah yeah I'm ok...”

 

“No you're not! Why did you just seemed like you're in pain what is it?”

 

She stupidly feels embarrassed in front of him to bring up any pain regarding her pregnancy, I mean the guy has been through so much in his life, he has a body full of scars to prove it and she doesn't want to feel stupid for bringing up feet pain.

 

“Oliver it's nothing just let it drop.”

 

He took her hands in his.

 

_Frack!!_

 

“Felicity we agreed that you and I are trying to do this together and if we want to make this work we must talk to each other.”

 

His voice… it's so southing yet so intense.

 

“It's nothing it's stupid.”

 

“Nothing's stupid tell me” he looks right in her eyes and whisper in that special voice he only reserves for her, “Talk to me Felicity.”

 

That's when her resolve broke and she gives up so even if she's still embarrassed she answers in a small voice.

 

“My feet...”

 

“Your feet? What is it about your feet?”

 

He looks so genuinely concerned and worried that all her shyness goes away.

 

“My feet hurt. Like they really hurt and I just tried to massage them a bit but seems like I forgot that I'm pregnant and can't even reach to feet without hurting my back.”

 

He smiles at her and it blinds her because it's a smile so full of love and compassion and emotion and contentment that it almost brings tears to her eyes.

 

“Come here.”

 

He sits on the couch, takes her legs and puts them on his lap.

 

_Wait what's happening?_

 

She feels her breath quicken and her heart beating faster.

 

He rubs his hands together to warm them  up and so gently grabs both of her feet in his hands.

 

He starts to rub and the second his thumb presses on the sole of the heel she moans loudly and can't stop a breathy sensual “Oh my god” that falls from her lips.

 

She feels his hands stop moving for a second but them he resumed his work.

 

She so so sooooo embarrassed that she can actually feel her face hot and flushed.

 

_OH my lord!!_

 

But it just feels so good.

 

She's biting her lips so hard to prevent any sound from coming out of her mouth.

 

This feels like heaven. He uses his thumb and uses the right amount of pressure, she's floating.

 

She feels his eyes on her but she absolutely cannot look at him or she might burst into flame.

 

He slowly moves up her leg and massages her calf and she probably might die soon. 

 

The feeling of his large rough calloused yet soft and delicate hands on her skin br ings  back memories from the night they shared, those memory are still so incredibly fresh and vivid in her mind. She remembers with a surprising clarity every moment of that night, how he worshiped and kissed every inch of her skin, how we whispered 'I love you' between each kiss and caress.

She dreams about that night all the time.

 

She feels some tears welling up in her eyes and she just can't cry right now in front of him.

 

She puts her arm on her face and buries it in the crook of her elbow.

 

_Get it together Smoak!_

 

He applies the perfect pressure on her calf and the unexpected raw and intense need to feel his hands move up her legs, to feels his hands were she needs him the most is overwhelming.

 

Fuck!

 

Despite her biting her lips she could stop the tinniest moan from escaping her lips.

 

Fuck Fuck Fuck!!!

 

She grabs the nearest pillow and covers her face behind it. She's never going to be able to look at him in the eyes again.

 

After about 5 more minutes of the most total and complete sweetest torture ever she peaked behind the pillow to try to take a look at him.

 

She finds him already looking at her, his eyes so dilated and so dark that you could barely see the blue in them. He looks like he wants to devour her like he wants to eat her alive. 

 

Is she panting?

 

Why is she panting so hard?

 

She wants to straddle him, she wants to kiss him senseless she wants to press herself to his strong body, she wants to feel his hard thick erection pressed to her already wet pussy. She wants to lose herself in him.

 

He looks like he's holding on the last bit of control he has, so she has to get the hell away from him.

 

Pronto!!

 

A cold shower, she needs a cold shower.

 

“Ummm Thanks for that.. I'm just gonna- Um I'm-”

 

“Um hum yep me too.”

 

She needs distance from him.

 

They both awkwardly go their separate way.

 

–

Oliver needs to hit things. Like he needs to hit a lot of thing right now or he might explode.

 

He's back in his room now doing push ups silently begging his mind to stay away from the thoughts of Felicity right now.

 

He just got off the phone with Lyla to get an update on Argus and the progress they've made so far with that box.

He was in the kitchen thinking about that box she received along with the note, he was mentally going through the list of potential people who might be behind it when he heard her curse in pain. 

 

He knew she didn't want to bother him and she was slightly embarrassed and he almost kissed her when she said that her feet hurt. She was so adorable. He didn’t think and he just positioned her so that her legs were on his lap and the second his palms made contact with her skin he realized what a huge mistake it was.

 

He never ever in his life managed to be in control of his impulse like this before. He heard her moan and just like that he felt his pants tighten. He tried his best to keep his control but fuck she didn't make it easy on him. He perfectly heard every moan, every cursed, every intake of breath. 

Feeling her soft and perfect skin under his fingers, the ways her chest moved faster when he brought his hands up her legs, it was pure torture for him.

 

He perfectly remembers how it once has been his lips and his tongue tracing every curve of her delicious body.

 

_Fuck!!_

 

It takes every bit of self-control to know take her right here right there.

 

He knows that he must look like a predator, his eyes starving, looking at his prey. 

 

He needs to get his shit together.

 

ASAP.

 

There's no denying that there's both feeling the same way about this moment but they also both know that they're not there yet.

 

After a couple of hundreds push ups and a cold shower, he's casually dressed and heads downstairs 

 

They're all gathered in the living room towards the couch area and they all look so at ease with one another, like a real family.

 

He missed out on so much.

 

Seeing her family so close to Thea Dig and even Ray it breaks his heart a bit because it's a reminder that he wasn't there. He doesn't have that connexion with them. He can't help but feel left out and he knows that he only has himself to blame. He tries to find a place without trying too hard, he wants it to be natural.

 

He looks over at Felicity Thea and Kiera, all three of them on the couch talking and laughing at Emma's who's sitting on the floor between Felicity's legs. Felicity's belly is exposed and Emma's talking to it and kissing it.

 

He became that pathetic cause he's jealous of kid.

 

He is still processing the fact that Felicity is pregnant and every single time he looks at her and sees her growing belly and her changed body the air is knocked out of his lungs. Seeing her big round belly makes it so real. His Felicity is pregnant with his child. It’s really hard to explain because it’s something he never in his life felt before. It’s like fire burning in every cell in his body. 

 

Felicity's gorgeous. She has changed too, she's wearing yoga pants and a hoodie.

 

_Is it his?_

 

The swell of possessiveness he feels when he sees her in his clothes is overwhelming.

 

She feels his eyes on her and she looks up at him and to his surprise she doesn't shy away from his stare.

 

They all have diner together and he sees how Felicity constantly tries to include him and he loves her all the more for that.

 

He tried his best to engage in the conversations that were going on but in all honesty he just couldn’t take his eyes off of Felicity the entire diner. He was aware of her every little movement. She looked so happy, always laughing. He chuckled to himself as he witnessed the amount of food she ate during diner, hell she’s eating for to now so… What mesmerised him the most is the ways she kept rubbing her belly so lovingly and she looked like she didn’t even realised she was doing it, it looked like a natural instinct. Something a mother would do. A mother’s instinct.

His heart is so full of love for them it might explode.

 

He loves his girls so damn much. 

 

“Felicity you didn’t try the roasted peppers!”

 

Lyla told Felicity.

 

“Yeah well naahh I don’t feel like eating that.”

 

Thea made a funny face and said;

 

“But you love peppers!”

 

“Yeah - I – love peppers- my daughter? not so much and trust me she lets me know.”

 

He stared at her, his mouth slightly open and he’s sure he stopped breathing for a moment.

 

Her hands instantly went back to her belly as she kept talking but he couldn’t hear what she was saying. 

 

The word “daughter” flew from her mouth so naturally so easily that his eyes went wide.

 

Their daughter.

 

She had months and her body changing to get used to the fact that she is indeed pregnant but he only has a few weeks and he just wants to get to the point where it is natural for him too. 

 

“Speaking of my lil niece here, have you decided on a name yet?”

 

Oh? 

 

At Kiera’s questions, Felicity’s eyes instantly found his. She looked… unsure but then in the blink of an eye she looked determined and …supportive?

 

“No we haven’t decided yet.”

 

_WE?_

 

He smiles so big at her so big that he jaw hurts a bit and he sees a similar smile on her face. He knows that she reads his emotions without having to say it, she sees how grateful and happy he is that she includes him in such an open way in front of everyone.

 

God he loves that woman 

 

***

“Ok Emma time to go to bed.”

 

“Ok mommy but I want Aunt Fe to read me my bed time story. Will you 

read to for me Aunt Fe?”

 

“Of course princess I'll read you a bedtime story.”

 

“I want Oliver to come too.”

 

They all turned to him and had their eyebrows up.

 

Kiera breaks the silence.

 

“Humm Emma why would you want Oliver to come?”

 

“Because mommy he is the prince and aunt Fe is the princess. They always have to be together.”

 

She said it as if it was so obvious and they're all dumb.

 

Felicity was a bit nervous and she looked up at Oliver.

 

“Well you have to ask Oliver if he'll agree baby.”

 

Her small feet padded over to him.

 

“Oliver?”

 

“Yes Emma?”

 

Her baby blue eyes are so full of hope.

 

“Will you read me a bed time story with aunt Fe?”

 

“Of course I will.”

 

Her small face lighted up and he couldn't help but smile.

 

“Yes!”

 

Emma kissed goodnight her mother and Thea and the three of them walked hand in hand to her room.

 

Felicity tucked Emma in. Oliver gave a large pillow to Felicity so she could get comfortable and she silently thanked him.

 

“Okay baby what story do you want to hear?”

 

She frowned and was thinking really hard about that question which made both Oliver and Felicity laugh.

 

“I want Oliver to tell me one of his stories.”

 

Okay she did not expect that. 

 

“You sure baby?”

 

“Yes, I am most definitely sure. He's looks like a prince so he has to tell me the story about his princess.”

 

Felicity was speechless.

 

She looked over at Oliver for help.

 

“Ok Emma I'll tell you a Story.”

 

“But it has to be the story about your princess ok?”

 

“Yeah ok.”

 

“YAAAY!!”

 

Felicity laughed at her niece enthusiasm.

 

“Okay you chose the name and I'll tell you the story.”

 

“Well Oliver and Felicity of course.”

 

Emma almost rolled her eyes.

 

Felicity could only stare at Oliver.

 

“Once upon a time, there was a prince called Oliver who was very much in love with a princess called Felicity. They were both in love with each other but Prince Oliver was an idiot because he thought that he didn't deserve to be with the princess. She was so beautiful and kind and generous and he was a bad man. He did a really bad thing and he hurt the princess a lot. He was really really sad.”

 

“What happened then?”

 

“After the prince hurt the princess he left town because it was too hard to be around her and not be able to love her.”

 

“He left the princess?”

 

“I told you the prince was an idiot. When he was away he was devastated because he missed his princess so much.”

 

She felt her eyes welling up with tears. Oliver looked at her and it was as if it was just the two of them in the room.

 

“About a month after he left he came back to town to see his princess. He went to see her to their secret lair. When he saw her he forgot how to breathe because she was the most beautiful princess he ever saw. She was wearing a gorgeous red dress and she was dancing and singing.” 

 

_What?_

 

_What is he saying?_

 

She felt a tear running down her cheek.

 

_Is he serious?_

 

She knows exactly about what moment he's referring to but it couldn't be true. He wasn't there.

 

“I wanted to talk to her but then her phone rang and I heard her talking about her new prince.”

 

“What? But why?”

 

“Because I left and she found a new prince.”

 

“But no! Princess Felicity is Prince Oliver's.”

 

“Well Prince Oliver made stupid mistakes and the princess is very beautiful so another prince fell in love with her.”

 

Felicity couldn't take her eyes off of Oliver. She clearly remembers this moment, she was talking to Thea about Ray. 

Her eyes went wide when she remembers her comments about having sexual skills … oh my god it’s horrible!

 

_He can't be saying the truth!_

 

“So when the prince heard her speak about her new Prince he decided to leave again because she sounded and looked happy, and that's all he has ever wanted for her, to be happy.”

 

“Oliver….”

 

Felicity is overwhelmed. 

 

She decides to continue the story. She wipes her tears away and clears her throat. 

 

“The prince wanted the princess to be happy but all the princess needed to be happy was her prince Oliver. As long as he was in her life she was happy. She was really sad when he left so she tried to forget him with a new prince but it didn't work. “

 

“Why?”

 

Oliver's stare was so intense and she couldn't look away from him.

 

“Because he is the only one she wanted to be with. So even if she tried to move on and forget about him with someone else she couldn't because he was the one who her heart belonged to.”

 

The tension is insane, the emotions are running high and Felicity can’t takes her eyes off of him, it was just the two of them in the room.

 

She looked at Emma's fluttering eyes and knew she was falling asleep.

 

She sleepily whispered “Because she's his princess.”

 

Oliver burned holes in Felicity.

 

“Yes she is. And his heart belongs to her. Always her. Only her.”

 

“Are they together now?”

 

Oliver tucked a strand of hair behind Felicity's ear and let his fingers caress her cheek.

 

“The prince still has to fight a lot to gain the princess's heart back. He'll do anything to have his princess to him, especially now that he's going to be a daddy. He wants to build a family with his princess. He wants to make both of his girls the happiest women in the whole wide world”

 

“He's going to be the best daddy in the whole wide world when that time comes.”

 

Oliver looked like he couldn't believe what she just said.

 

“Do you understand Felicity?”

 

She understands now, she loves than man so damn much and he loves her just as much. For the first time in her life, she feels some of her walls that she spent her entire life building crush a little. Bit by bit, those walls are fading away.

 

_Something that feels this good, can't be bad right?”_

 

“I do.”

 

Something shifted right at this moment and they both felt it.

 

“I love you.”

 

Can she say it back? 

 

Is she ready?

 

She couldn't get the words out of her mouth but her eyes said it. 

 

She knows he read it into her eyes.

 

A long tear escaped her eye and she never saw him beamed that hard.

 

They were both smiling like fools, their hands intertwined.

 

“Aunt Fe?”

 

She wipes her tears and looks down at a sleepy Emma.

 

“Yes baby?”

 

“I miss our kissing wars. I love you Aunt Fe. And grandma D misses you too.”

 

Felicity’s heart breaks at that.

 

“Oh baby I love you too. I'm sorry baby.”

 

She lies down next to her and presses her face in the crook of her neck.

 

A few minutes later she feels a light pressure on her temple and the next second she’s asleep.

 

A week later

 

Oliver was smiling like a fool while preparing breakfast for everyone. He woke up early to prepare everything.

 

Since last week when both him and Felicity put Emma to bed things have been going great, amazing.

 

Felicity has been more open with him, he doesn’t really know how to describe her behaviour towards him, it’s just a feeling. She’s been more smiley to him, she allow s his touches and his open concern, she even sometimes engage s their physical contact by holding his hand, or falling asleep on his shoulders while watching TV. One night they were watching a Disney movie with the whole family, she sat next to him and little by little she rested her head on his chest. Then she grabbed his hand and intertwined their fingers together. He remembered being slightly embarrassed because he was sure she could hear his heart beating like crazy. Then slowly she guided both their hands to her belly. He looked down at her, pressed to his side, her head on his chest, their hands on her their daughter and tears gathered in his eyes. He silently thanked life for that moment. He brought her even closer to him and kissed the top of her head.

 

Yeah things have been great.

 

He heard laughter coming from the stairs and sees Felicity and Kiera coming down the stair, heading to the kitchen.

 

Their eyes lock and they smile to each other.

 

He never gets tired of the sight of her, of her never ending beauty no matter the circumstances. Somehow living with her makes him fall in love with her more each day. He's really observant and he notes every single detail about her.

 

“Good morning Oliver”

 

“Good morning Keira”

 

The two girls are walking to him and Felicity naturally goes to him.

 

“Hey”

 

He presses a kiss to her cheek and he bids  a good morning to his daughter as well feeling her under his palm and he whispers  _'good morning baby'._

 

This has been their morning ritual for the past week. They never really talked about it, it just feels right. One morning he did it ans yes she was surprised but it's like a mutual silent agreement between them. He'd lie if he said he didn't like every second of it.

 

He immediately picked up on her mood. She wasn't her usual happy self.

 

“Hey, you ok?”

 

“Didn't sleep that much so don't know I'm just a bit groggy.”

 

He didn't like that. She needs to rest it's important.

 

“Why couldn't you sleep?”

 

She sighs.

 

“I just can't get comfortable, so I spend hours tossing hours trying to find a position to fall a sleep but That” she put her belly forward to emphasize it “ seems to keep me from my sleep.”

 

Oh…. Ok …

 

He doesn't really know what to say because  he for once doesn't have a solution to her problem. 

I mean he can think of one but he doesn't know how she'll take it.

 

He's about to answer when they here Emma crying upstair.

 

Felicity is already heading upstairs to check on her.

 

“K stay here I'll go check on her.”

 

Oliver looks at Kiera and he know that THAT time finally came. He's not dumb and he knows that she's been wanting to talk to him every since she got here.

 

“Oliver do you have a minute? I'd like to talk to you for a moment.”

 

He really can't screw this up.

 

It's not just a random talk, he know that what he'll tell her might change things between him and Felicity.

 

“Of course.”

 

They both go on the balcony to get some privacy.

 

“Felicity isn't my biological sister. She was seven when I met her.”

 

Wow he didn't expect that.

 

“Maybe she'll tell you her story, you need to hear it from her, it's not my place.”

 

He's speechless so he can only nod.

 

“I thank god every day for bringing her and her mother into our lives. Oliver I love here so much. We might come from the same womb but she is my sister. She's been through so much in her life but despite how hurt she' been or how lost she might have gotten,she always picked herself up.”

 

He sees tears welling up in her eyes.

 

“She deserves to be loved, she deserves to be adored to be cherished. She deserves to have it all Oliver. She deserves a man who'll stand up for her, who'll make all of her dreams come true; she deserves a man who'll make her happy. Are you that man Oliver?”

 

Oh?

 

He closes his eyes for a second and  he decide d to just let his heart speak.

 

“At a defined point in my life I lost hope. I lost faith in the human kind. I had no emotions I felt nothing. I literally lost any kind of trust in the human kind. I wasn't living I was surviving. Then one day Felicity walked in my life and everything changed. I don't know how she did it but bit by bit she broke that heart of ice that I had and she brought light, hope, faith, joy and love into it. She's the one who managed that. Not my mother, not my sister, not my childhood best friends; her. Keira I can't put into words what she means to me. I can just tell you that without her, there's no me. She's the only that gets me, we don't even need words to communicate. She knows me better that anyone and I might not know everything about her but I know her.”

 

He makes a pause and lets the both of them have a minute to let what he just said sink in.

 

“You know Kiera I think that the people we surround ourselves with either raise or lower our self worth. They either help us to become the very best version of ourselves. No person on this planet becomes great on their own. The people around them help to make them great. We all need people in our lives who remind us of our essential purpose, who challenge us to become the very best version of ourselves. 

The thing is that she's the only one who makes me wanna be better, she makes me wanna be a better man for her and for our baby.” 

 

He feels so light right now. 

 

“She's your sister and of course I understand that you have her bet interest at heart and your maybe expecting promises but I can't promises Kiera. All I can tell you is that I'll die before something happens to her. I can't even count the number of time I almost died and I like to think that their must be a reason why I'm still here. Felicity, our daughter, they're my light. “

 

Tears are running on her ckeek and she just throws her arms around him.

 

He's taking off guard but responds anyway.

 

“Thank you Oliver. I'm sorry but you do have to promise me something.”

 

Once again he's speechless.

 

“Don't give up on her ok? Even if it seems complicated at the moment don't give upon her. I know my sister, she just needs time.”

 

“That I can promise you Keira, I'm never giving up on her.”

 

 

–

 

“Hey.”

 

Kiera took a sit next to Felicity, automatically liking their arms as Felicity put her head on her shoulder.

 

“You have no idea how happy I am that you guys came here. I needed this. I always need you.”

 

“And I always need you.”

 

They cuddled closer and the love they have for one another didn’t need words.

 

“You know I used to wonder many times why you weren’t coming back home especially now that Emma’s getting older and keeps asking about you; you could find a good job home and come back to us.”

 

“Kiera..”

 

“But I see it now… you found your own little family here and words can’t express how happy I am for you. That’s all I ever wanted for you. I see it all now.”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Oliver is what I mean.”

 

Felicity eyes went wide at her Kiera’s sentence. 

 

“It makes my heart so full to know that there’s a person on this planet who’d give his heart and soul to you, who’d do anything for you and your baby. That man is crazy in love with you.”

 

Kiera put her hand on Felicity’s belly.

 

“What am I supposed to do Kiera? Tell me because I don’t know? Am I supposed to forget everything that’s happened? Sometimes love isn’t enough. I close my eyes every night and I hear him saying that he loves me and that I’m all he wants but then I wake up in the middle of the night because of the nightmares I have of him betraying me and hurting me, I see him and Sara and it breaks my heart every damn time.”

 

Tears escape her eyes and Kiera holds her closer.

 

“I love him so much it burns in my vein. I’m not afraid to admit it I just have to protect myself because I can’t let myself have a breakdown now. I have to think about my daughter, I’m all she’ll have and I have to be up to the task for her. So yeah he says he loves me and I love him but it just isn’t enough. Oliver has his own issues to deal with. I can fully trust him but he’ll never be able to fully trust me. How am I supposed to build a life; a home, a family with someone who doesn’t trust me?”

 

“Honey look at me. I have been there living with all of you for the past week and I see the way he looks at you, he lights up every time he lays his eyes on you. I'm glad I got to know him a bit and there's one thing you're totally wrong about. He trusts you, You are the person he trusts the most. He's himself thanks to you. You know that I’ll never tell you this if I weren’t sure of myself because your happiness is all that matters to me and I really do think that he’ll make you happy.”

 

“Kiera..”

 

“You’re not afraid to admit that you love him but you’re afraid to let yourself love him and be loved by him. You need to put those fears away and trust your feelings. You love him; You want to be with him. Then do what feels right. Love him, be with him. Life is too short honey you don’t know what might happen tomorrow. What if he’s the one? What if he makes you the happiest woman on earth?”

 

“I'm so scared.”

 

“Honey I know you are I would be too if it were me in your shoes, and I'm not telling you to be with him right, I'm telling you to try to put those fears aside and see where this gets you. He's the father of your child and the man you love, you have to try, you owe it to yourself.”

 

 

Later that night

 

Oliver is with Dig and Ray in the living room waiting for the girls to get ready to go to the restaurant tonight. 

 

“Ollie ??!!!”

 

“What is it Speedy?”

 

She looks like she was given the world’s hardest math test and was in over her head.

 

“You go in there and talk to her… she won’t listen to me and she won’t stop crying and she's throwing things so …. Yeah I'm sorry but you go I give up.”

 

Oliver was confused. 

 

“Speedy what are you talking about?”

 

“Your baby mama! She going crazy, you put that baby in there, it's only fair you go handle her cause I just can’t.”

 

_What the hell?_

 

He almost ran to Felicity's room. When he got to her door he heard her muffled curses.

 

_What?_

 

He knocked on her door.

 

“WHAT???!!!!”

 

He took a step back at the harshness of her voice.

 

What is happening right now?

 

“Felicity it’s me. I'm coming in ok?”

 

Without waiting for an answer he opened her bedroom door and the sight that welcomed him made him both want to laugh and run the hills.

 

There in the middle of the room stood Felicity facing her big mirror. 

 

He gulped and swallowed hard when he took her in.

 

She's wearing a red lace thong with a red lace matching bra. A red dress looks stuck just under her gorgeous ass as if she couldn't get in the dress. 

 

He saw all the clothes all over the floor and her bed and he slowly put the pieces together. 

 

She no longer fits in her clothes.

 

OK he can handle that.

 

“Felicity?”

 

She didn't even acknowledged him.

 

“A fucking wale. That's what I am. A huge fat wale”

 

She lets that dress fall to her fit and throws it away. 

 

She grabs another one and also struggles to get in on.

 

“DAMN IT !!! Please not this one too! Come on!”

 

She is wiggling, trying to pull the dress over her ass, her generous breast bouncing ready to escape her bra.

 

_Damn!! She has to stop doing that._

 

He's trying really hard to look away from her but he can't. His eyes are glued to her body.

 

“Nothing fi- fits, NO- NOTHING !!”

 

She is crying.

 

Oh crap he hates seeing her cry. 

 

She decided to give up on that dress and threw it away with her feet. 

 

She stood in front of the mirror, her hands on her hips.

 

“Sweet pea why are you doing this to mommy? I can't even wear heels and god knows I love my heels because I don't feel tiny in a world of giants when I wear them and they make my ass look great. And now I can't even wear my cute dresses! You know I love you so why are you doing this to mommy?”

 

She looks so fucking adorable, crying and talking to their baby like this.

 

“Felicity?”

 

“WHAT??”

 

She turns to face him and it's like she just registered his presence.

 

She tries to hide her body with her arms and she looks down at her feet and it breaks his heart to see her so unsure and not confidant of herself.

 

With a knew found determination he walks to her.

 

“Fe-li-ci-ty? Look at me.”

 

She raises her head to look at him and he wants to take the tears in her eyes away.

 

“What's in going on Felicity?”

 

“I'm FAT is what is going on! Oliver look at me! I'm a huge fat ugly wale.”

 

She pouting and he wants to kiss her right there.

 

“I mean come on look at me” She grabs her boobs in both of her hands “those are going to explode, my feet and my hands are swollen and don't even let me start on my ass. Nothing fits anymore.”

 

He looks down her body, he lets his eyes linger on her full perfect round breasts, the bright red lace enhancing her creamy skin. They stood so so close to one another that her belly touches his stomach. He puts a hand under her chin and the other on her belly.

 

“Felicity, do you know what I see when I look at you?”

 

“A huge fat ugly wale.”

 

He laughs and she hits his arms.

 

He wipes her tears ways.

 

“No that's not what I see. Do you want to know what I see when I look at your body?”

 

He strokes her cheek so lovingly that she closes her eyes and nodes.

 

“When I look at you, I see the woman I am head over hills in love with caring my child. 

When I look at you, I see the woman I am head over hills in love with going through pain in order to bring our child to this world.

When I look at you, I see the woman I'm head over hills in love with, she's brave, she's self sacrifiying, she's beautiful and she's fucking hot.”

 

She laughs and hits his arm again.

 

“I have never desired someone as much as I desire you right now. You have always shaken my world and I have always desired you, I have always craved every inch of your body but nothing compares to how much I desire you right now.”

 

He hears her gasp and their eyes lock.

 

Both of their pupils were dark and dilated. 

 

God he wants her so bad.

 

“I have never ever in my entire life craved someone's body as much as I crave yours. I have never in my entire life craved someone’s skin as much as I crave yours. I want to worship every curve and every inch of your body. You're so fucking gorgeous.”

 

Both of their breaths quicken.

 

“Oliver...”

 

“I'm not finished talking.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“Every time I see you in pain, uncomfortable you have no idea how much I want to take that pain away from you, i'd give anything to be the one suffering and not you. 

 

“Well mother nature might find it problematic.”

 

He smirks.

 

“I'm in owe in front of you, I admire you so fucking much. You bringing our baby girl to this world is the world's biggest blessing. I'm forever great full to you.” 

 

“Well you helped a little.”

 

“I never want you to shy away from me; I never want you to feel embarrassed from your body.

Looking at you and seeing your round belly” he traces her belly with his forefinger, “seeing your fuller breast” he lets his finger move up her body and traces the top of her breasts,” seeing your fuller and bigger ass “ he moves his finger on her shoulder then let it trails on her back, to her lower back spine and then he lets his hand grab her round ass cheeks and squeezes it.”

 

She lightly moans and she silently curses. 

 

He wants to throw her on the bed and have his wicked way with her. He's already half hard and fuck he can tell that she wants it too.

 

You can cut the tension with a knife.

 

“Oliver”

 

Her voice is breathy and they both slowly lean in towards each other.

 

“You're the most beautiful women my eyes have ever laid on, swollen fit feet, big boobs, fat ass and all.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Felicity...”

 

Right at this exact moment, nothing in this planet would have stopped him from kissing her.

 

Just like when he first kissed her, he grabbed her face between his hands and kissed her.

 

Home.

 

He’s finally home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what did you think?
> 
> Please comment you thoughts and what you think will happen / would like to happen
> 
> Thanks for the support guys
> 
> Sophia xoxo


	12. What dreams are made of

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WE'RE BAAAACK PEOPLE !
> 
> The comments you send me mean the world so thank you so much for that!
> 
> Hope you guys enjoy this chapter!

 

 

Her entire body was bursting with need. Need for him. Need to feel every inch of his body pressed to hers. Need to feel his calloused fingers running over her skin. It’s a need so primal and so strong that she almost feels dizzy.

 

Her need to be with him has been growing more and more lately but it’s nothing compared to how much she needs him right now.

 

The intensity of how he looked at her and said all those words. The way he looked into her soul when he expressed how much he desired her, god It was the sexiest things she’s ever experienced. 

 

The way his hungry eyes travelled her body, the way his hands touched her skin, how his fingers left Goosebumps all over her skin, the way he whispered his admiration and need to her against her skin.

 

_**I have never desired someone as much as I desire you right now** _

 

It was erotic.

 

Nothing has ever turned her that much on.

 

That’s why she let herself be kissed by him, because fuck she wanted it. She shut the rational part of her brain and let her deepest desire talk instead.

 

She didn’t even hesitate, the second his lips touched hers she was gone.

 

She immediately brought her arms around his neck to bring him closer to her.

 

He grabbed her face between his large hands which made her arms fall to circle his waist.

 

He tiled her face to the side to deepen the kiss and her hand when to his stomach to fist his shirt in her hand. Feeling his hard abs through his shirt she couldn’t help but flatten her hand and over them, hoping to feel them better under her palm, but it wasn’t just enough, she needed more. She needed to feel his skin under her palm. She didn’t have the will to think this through she just acted on pure instinct and slipped her hand under his shirt.

 

The growl she was rewarded with made her toes curl. She felt it down to her bones.

He growled hard again, when she scratched her nails on his abs, her hand getting high on his chest and then he bit her lower lip, almost painfully then he when over it with his tongue to soothe the pain.

 

She wanted more, so much more. She knew that it probably was a bad idea to cross that line this soon but her body couldn’t seem to care. She needed him.

 

She can’t even put into words how bad she wants to feels his hot hard pulsing cocked pushing deep inside of her and making her see stars.

 

Of fuck! She feels the moisture gathering between her thighs. She’s dripping wet and he only kissed her.

 

FUCK!

 

His large hands ran over her body and one settled on her ass, squeezing hard and she couldn’t help but moan and bring him closer to her, rising on the very tip of her toe but she didn’t get as close to him as she’d like.

 

_Why is he so damn tall?_

 

Getting her silent request, he bent his knees and effortlessly picked her up.

 

As if she wasn’t turned on enough, he goes all Tarzan on her and picks her up as if she weighs a feather. 

 

She wraps he arms so tightly around his head just as his lips attack her neck and fuck that feels so good.

 

She tilts her head to give him more access and let him ravish her the way she wants to.

 

“Oh …. Yes”

 

Every one of his growl send vibration straight to her core.

 

She doesn’t even register him moving being too engrossed in her sensation until she feel herself being lowered and her back hit the bed.

 

She wants to cry at how endearing and sweet it is how he doesn’t put a gram of his weight on her. That’s just so thoughtful and she can’t believe how he’s still thinking about not putting weight on her- by resting it on his knees and elbows.

 

One of her hand goes to circle his wait and the other goes to his neck, urging him closer.

 

She can’t believe she’s pinned down under Oliver, panting in red lacy underwear.

 

She already knows she’s dripping wet.

 

His thigh presses against her core and she can’t help but loudly moan.

 

“Oliver …. Please…”

 

She doesn’t even know what she’s asking for. All she knows is that she’s never felt this way before. She never got worked up that fast before, it’s like her entire body is bursting with need. It’s like his lips and his tongue are leaving a hot tray of fire wherever they touch her skin.

 

“Felicity… “

 

He can’t say her name like that or she’ll come in half a second.

 

“I really want to make you feel good baby but don’t want to hurt you.”

 

Him calling her _baby_ shouldn’t make her knees weak like that, but fuck it does. He thrusts into her hot core, hitting her straight to her already swollen clit.

 

“OH Fuck ! God no you’re not hurting me… please Oliver.. please.”

 

She’s begging but she’s doesn’t give a damn about it. She needs to get lost in pleasure right the fuck now.

 

She sucks and bites his ear lobe, breathing so hard against the side of his face, letting him realize of horny and how fucking ready she is.

 

He savagely scooted her upper on the bed, spreading her thighs wider, while he completely settled between her legs.

 

She can’t help but roll her hips, seeking more and more friction between the lower halves of their body. Their basically dry humping and no matter what people say, it doesn’t seem to get old in that particular moment.

 

“Fuck Felicity”

 

Her whole body is bursting with fire, her eyes closed, lost in her own pleasure.

 

“Yes… fuck yes.. more … I need more..”

 

Without warning he pulls her boobs out of the lacy garnements and put is hot mouth around her rock hard nipples.

 

She cries so loud.

 

“OOOOHH God.”

 

He ravishes her breast, alternating between each nipple, his hands massaging the swollen flesh.

 

Her boobs are so crazy sensitive she almost can’t take it.

 

She has to reach for something so she fists the shit with her right hand so hard that her knuckles turns white while her other hand pulls at his hair.

 

It’s just all so much.

 

His hot mouth is sucking so hard on her nipples that she feels like she’s about to come. He blow some air on it right after sucking on it.

 

“Oh my god… it’s too much … of fuck …. “

 

She never thought her nipple could ever be that sensitive. She feels like her rib cage is going to burst open. It all just feels so painful yet so incredibly good. It’s the sweetest kind of torture.

 

She can’t perfectly feel every inch of his rock hard erection firmly pressed and rubbing against her. His long hard cock making her mouth water with hunger, to suck it and take it deep in her mouth.

 

“yes Oliver yes.. Ol – I – yes “

 

He speeds up his thrusts, grunting so deep it made her pussy clench.

 

 

He thrusts hard into her, coming into full force against her clit and his mouth sucks hard on nipple and then he bites the rosy flesh so savagely.

 

She comes so hard. 

 

She screams his name out loud, all sorts of incoherent noises leaving her mouth in harsh panting breaths.

 

She’s so lost in her pleasure; it all just feels so good.

 

She’s slowly coming down to her senses, opening hey eyes when she feels her panties getting pushed to the side.

 

Of FUCK!

 

What is he doing?

 

She’s so sensitive she can’t take another round.

 

He runs his fingers up and down her juicy pussy, spreading her wetness.

 

“So fucking wet .. Just for me.. You’re so fucking wet baby.”

 

How is it possible that just the sound of his voice makes her ache for him right after he gave her a mind blowing orgasm?

 

It’s just scientifically impossible.

 

He plays with her nether lips, spreading her juices all over her pussy.

 

She wants more.

 

It all happens in a second. She wants more.

 

A determine look passes over her face and she’s going after what she wants.

 

She’s stars to ride his hand, trying to get him as close as to where she needs him.

 

Without warning, he slips two fingers inside of her.

 

 

“OH MY GOD ! FUCK!”

 

He starts a punishing rhythm, he’s slamming into her. She meets every single one of his fingers thrust and rides his hand, her arms around his neck to support herself.

 

“Yes … Yes ..Oh fuck Oliver.”

 

He adds another finger and she squeezes them into her so hard like she never wants to let him go.

 

He’s slamming his fingers so hard into her that she can only cry his name.

 

He finally pushes on her spongy spot while at the same time rubbing his thumb on her swollen clit.

 

She’s about to come, she can’t believe she’s about to come again. It never happened that fast before but it was just too much. She couldn’t take it anymore. 

 

She a panting mess, she’s lost in her own pleasure, rocking and rolling her hips to meet each one of his thrusts, her hands on his ass urging him even closer. 

 

One of his large hand goes to the back of her thigh, just under her ass cheek, to bring her leg a little higher, while he suck on her pulse point so hard she’s sure he’s leaving hickeys.

 

Then it all happened so fast she didn’t even have time to blink.

 

His mouth travelled to her ear lobe biting it.

 

“Come for me baby.”

 

And Boom just like that she came so hard she saw crystal white behind her shut eyelids.

Her mouth opened in a silent cry as her body shook with pleasure.

 

She was making all sort of incoherent noises, her whole body trembling with the intensity of her orgasm enjoying every little second of the release she’s been craving for some time now.

 

He keeps fingering her through her orgasm, not wasting a second of the release his giving her.

 

Both of her tiny hands go to his face to rest on his cheeks.

 

Forehead against forehead, panting hard, their hot breathes mingling, their whole body still pressed on each other, and she’s coming down from her high. 

 

He nuzzled her noise and she moaned. 

 

Then what he did completely threw her of guard.

 

He kissed her forehead.

 

So strongly yet so softly but oh so lovingly.

 

She was at a loss of words. Watching his blown up eyes, which she’s sure are mirroring hers with the same lust. 

 

Then he slightly moved which pressed his rock hard erection to her and she was attacked by a wave of lust and need all over. Her body was far, far from being satisfied.

 

She wanted so much more with him.

 

She put her arms around his neck and kissed him hard.

 

It’s so hot, how they’re both breathing heavily, how she sucks on his tongue and the primal growl she’s rewarded with.

 

Her hot mouth goes to his neck.

 

Her hands go the his belt, trying to undo it but the second she does so, she feels his entire body stiffen on top of her.

 

 

“Felicity...”

 

She pulls back from him and drops her head on the pillows, getting a better look at his face.

 

She looks into his eyes and …

 

_No … No this can’t be happening._

 

Is he rejecting her?

 

“Felicity look I think we should stop.”

 

_Oh my god he is rejecting me._

 

All of her desire and lust leaves her body in the blink of an eye. She feels so supid, so ashamed and embarrassed . 

 

_He doesn’t want me._

 

She can’t speak, she wants to but she can’t, so she only nods her head, avoiding his eyes. However she can’t stop the tears that are gathering in her eyes.

 

_He can’t see me cry._

 

She needs to be away from him.

 

She wiggles and tries to get away from him asking him without words to move away and let her get away from his hold.

 

She doesn’t get the response she expects.

 

He puts more pressure on her and keeps her pinned down under him.

 

She looks at him and what the fuck?

 

_He is smiling?_

 

Yes he’s definitely smiling.

 

He brings his hand to her face and strokes her cheek.

 

_Damn._

 

“Felicity look at me baby.”

 

_Agrrrrrrhhhh why is he saying that THAT way?_

 

“Only you would let you crazy brain jump to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with you.”

 

“Huh?”

 

He chuckles.

 

Ok she’s lost. And that’s creepy like how does he know what she’s thinking.

 

“Look. At. Me.”

 

She really doesn’t want to get lost in his eyes but she can only do as he says.

 

“I thought I made pretty clear that I want to be _With_ you in every possible sense. I don’t want you to ever doubt that. Ok Felicity?”

 

She nods cause apparently she can no longer speak.

 

“The thing is that _This_ is too important for me, for us, and I can’t fuck this up. I think we both know that we’re not there quite yet and I don’t want to rush this and then have you regret it. We both need to be ready to take that step. You need to be there with me emotionally Felicity.”

 

_Oh !_

 

She can’t help but eye the impressive bulge in his pants.

 

“But what about you?”

 

“That was all about you, not me. That was for you. There are people waiting for us downstairs and when we’ll get to finally be together, I’m gonna need a whole damn entire night, not ten interrupted minutes. So I suggest that we both get up from that tempting bed cause please Felicity I’m only human.”

 

They both smile and he help her get up.

 

She awkwardly looks around the mess in the room. 

 

He takes her hand.

 

“What did I say about shying away from me? I don’t want you to ever - under any circumstances -to be embarrassed in front of me.”

 

God she loves that man.

 

“Okay.”

 

He kisses the top of her head.

 

“Do you want some help getting ready?”

 

Yeah no that’s not happening cause she KNOWS she’ll take forever with him in the room.

 

“No it’s ok you can’t go downstairs it’ll be ready in 10 minutes.”

 

“Oh thank god. I think my patience have been tested enough for today.”

 

She laughs and he joins her.

 

“Alright Oliver you can go now.”

 

“Ok yeah l’ll go but you must know that if you’re not downstairs in fifteen minutes, I’m gonna have to come get you myself.”

 

She smiles at his antics and pushes him out of the door.

 

Alone. 

 

She’s finally alone with her thought and OH MY GOD what the fuck just happened?

 

She puts one hand on top of her beating heart and the other goes to touch her lips. She feels like a teenager.

 

Ok she’s doesn’t have time to dwell on what just happened. She needs to get ready.

 

_ 4 hours later. _

 

Oliver lies in his bed still not quite sure that the last four hours actually happened.

 

Even if he’s walking on a cloud right now he doesn’t want to get his hopes up about him and Felicity.

 

Felicity…

 

God he loves that woman with everything he has.

 

After their heated moment earlier he barely got to his room before he took his hard cock out of his painfully tight pants and it only took him five strokes for him to come so hard, his mind filled with images of Felicity climaxing spread out underneath him, of the obscene noise that came out of her beautiful swollen lips.

 

God the noises she made, the way she completely let herself go.

 

Fuck that was so hard for him to not take her right there, to not lose himself inside of her. But despite how much he wanted to have sex with her it wasn’t his priority. He wants to show her that he truly loves her and that he is here to stay. 

 

Diner went perfectly well despite Ray being here surprisingly. It still stung to see him so close to Felicity and her family.

 

He felt like he won the lottery when Emma decided to sit next to him and not Ray. He was grinning so fucking hard and he winked at her.

 

He sat next to Felicity and he found himself constantly wanting to touch her which was a bit of a problem cause he isn’t known for dealing with frustration well.

 

What she decided to wear didn’t help him either.

 

When she finally finished getting ready and walked down the stairs to meet the rest of them in the leaving room – god she looked so stunning. He wasn’t lying when he told her that it wasn’t fair how well pregnancy suited her. 

 

 

She really has a high sense in fashion  style. She always has. She owns like no other that 'Sexy Chic vibe'. She wore a nude pencil skirt with a black cropped top, leaving an inch of her stomach skin showing.  He's becoming addicted to her outfit that shows off her belly. He's so proud of her showing of her belly in skin thigh clothes.

 

Her boobs looked amazing in that top it's not even fair. Some gorgeous black heels, showing her red painted toes. A deep red that matched the one on her lips. Boy he could kiss those lips forever. He hair falling around her face, she looked like a goddess. 

 

His goddess.

 

[ (FELICITY'S OUTFIT) ](https://fr.pinterest.com/pin/634444666227340496/)

 

After diner they dropped Kiera and Emma at the airport and he was genuinely sad to see them leave, he loved getting to know Felicity’s closest family and spending time with them, especially Emma. 

 

She’s something. 

 

He ended up comforting Felicity after she didn’t seem to want to stop crying when they all said their goodbyes at the airport.

 

Kiera left with a soft  _take good care of your family_ in his ear. 

 

When they got home she seemed exhausted.

 

Despite how amazing the last four hours have been, she didn’t show any sign of affection towards him. She just whispered ‘goodnight’ and went to her room.

 

 

It’s been two hours now and he can’t stop tossing around.

 

Alright. 

 

He has to see her. He needs to lay his eyes on her. So he doesn’t stop himself from going to her room. He just needs to make sure she’s ok.  He knows she's ok but he just has to see her.

He hears her before he sees her. He hears what sounds like frustrated breaths. 

 

Her door is slightly open and he opens it a little bit to peek inside.

 

His heart gets so full with love for her when he lays his eyes on her.

 

She’s tossing around, trying to get into a comfortable position. She stomped her foot on the mattress and laid back on her back, her one arms coming to rest along her body while the other rests on her belly. Seeing her struggle to fall asleep reminds him of what she said to him this morning about her sleep.

 

“ _Hey, you ok?”_

 

“ _Didn't sleep that much so don't know I'm just a bit groggy.”_

 

_He didn't like that. She needs to rest it's important._

 

“ _Why couldn't you sleep?”_

 

_She sighs._

 

“ _I just can't get comfortable, so I spend hours tossing hours trying to find a position to fall a sleep_

_but That” she put her belly forward to emphasize it “ seems to keep me from my sleep.”_

 

_Oh…. Ok …_

 

_He doesn't really know what to say because he for once doesn't have a solution to her problem._

_I mean he can think of one but he doesn't know how she'll take it._

 

 

With her lying on her back, her belly is all he sees and god he still is mesmerized by the sight of it.

 

It’s their baby in there.

 

Suddenly his feet are walking towards her without his consent.

 

When he’s near the bed, she turns her head looks at him.

 

No one talks.

 

They just stare at each other.

 

They never needed to talk.

 

Their eyes say it all.

 

He looks at her for what feels like hours.

 

Without talking he pulls the cover and gets under them.

 

And just like that, they become the last two missing pieces of a puzzle. 

 

Their legs tangle, her belly is finally comfortably resting on his stomach while she puts her head on his chest. She nuzzles close to him and kisses the top of her head.

 

She releases a long sigh of contentment and drapes her arms over him, cuddling closer.

 

“Goodnight baby.” 

 

She yaws then hums against his chest.

 

A good night is it indeed.

 

 

 

 

Felicity is entirely cocooned is a cloud of warmth and she never wants to get up. Soft fingers drawing on her back are slowly pulling her from her sleep.

 

Him.

 

She surrounded by him.

 

Her heart starts beating like crazy when she remembers him coming to her room last night. 

 

She had the best night of sleep in a long time. It’s like the second she got in his arms she was finally able to just close her eyes and sleep.

 

She can’t explain it. It just felt so right. The two of them together, every inch of their body touching and tangled that you can’t even tell where she begins and where he ends.

 

It was simple. It was just them. Two people in love with each other together in a bed. How something so simple can feel so right? That feeling of pure rightness when he lay next to her is something she finds impossible to explain.

 

Maybe that’s how it is supposed to feel. 

 

 

She exhales a long breath when she feels his noise seeking the crook of her neck.

 

“Good morning beautiful.”

 

_OH MY GOD!!_

 

It’s not even fair how raspy and sexy his morning voice is.

 

Momentarily unable to speak she looks up at him.

 

Damn those eyes. He’s such a handsome man.

 

He’s looking at her with so much love and desire, it’s so clear and he’s not afraid or ashamed to show it to her. It’s so open and for her to see.

 

“How did you sleep?”

 

“Surprisingly well actually.”

 

He tightens his arms around her, planting a kiss below her ear.

 

“Oh really?”

 

He’s teasing her, his face sporting the biggest smirk ever.

 

_This man!_

 

The doorbell rang and they both looked away, turning their faces to the bedroom door.

 

“It’s probably Thea who forgot her keys last night.”

 

“I’ll go get it just stay put it’s still early.”

 

She won’t disagree with him.

 

It should be embarrassing how it takes them a good ten seconds to separate their tangled limbs, but it’s not.  It's natural. 

 

She wanted to stay in bed but her daughter on her bladder had other plans for her.

 

After she was done in the bathroom, Oliver still hasn’t come back.

 

Is he preparing breakfast?

 

Her curiosity got the better out of her and she decided to go check on him and happily walked down the stairs. 

 

She was slapped on the face with a full force of déjà vu and stopped dead on her tracks.

 

Oliver and Sara.

 

Hugging.

 

Her arms all over. Her face in the crook of his neck.

 

She felt her heart racing and her hands shaking.

 

_This can’t be right? No she can’t be seeing this._

 

_He wouldn’t do this to her again right?_

 

She suddenly finds it hard to breathe.

 

In and Out – In and Out.

 

The more she tried to breathe the harder she actually managed to breathe. Her ears were buzzing and she couldn't hear a thing. She held onto the banister so hard that it hurt.

 

Then she knew what was coming when she felt the now familiar sensation on her law belly.

 

She slightly bent over, a hand instantly coming to rest where the pain was.

 

“Ahh!”

 

She bit her lips so hard.

 

In and Out.

 

She saw them break apart and Oliver running to her.

 

She saw his lips move but she couldn't hear a thing.

 

She wanted to cry. 

 

_Why does everything have to hurt that much._

 

She doesn't even acknowledge him and walks past him; she goes to rest here arms over the kitchen island, still bent over, taking slow deep breaths.

 

_Come on Felicity it's gonna be ok._

 

She feels so stupid. Hurt but so so so stupid.

 

She feels him around her, yelling her name but she couldn't care less at the moment.

 

“I'm sorry sweat pea. Mommy is so so sorry. I'm sorry baby.”

 

She whispers that over and over like a crazy person. Her baby doesn't deserve that. She shouldn’t react like that because it's not good for her baby and she knows it. She feels like she's already falling her baby.

 

“Mommy is so sorry baby.”

 

She strokes her big belly, whispering to her daughter.

 

_Why does it have to hurt so much?_

 

She looks up and sees his horrified face.

 

_Space. I need to be away from him right now._

 

She goes to grab a glass of water and counts to ten.

 

“FELICITY!”

 

She tries to smile and to look ok to reassure him.

 

“It's ok I'm ok.”

 

She looks at Sara and she wants to cry all over again.

 

_Why does it have to hurt so much?_

 

“I'll let you guys catch up I'm just gonna go get ready.”

 

_She tries_ to smile but god it’s fake and they all see it.

 

“Felicity please hey look at me.”

 

It’s crazy how you can go from pain to anger in a heartbeat, because now she is pissed but she won’t do him the privilege of seeing it.

 

She looks up straight in his eyes, as he requested it.

 

What now huh?

 

She sees it in his eyes how he wants to say something to her but for some reasons he doesn’t manage to.

 

“I’m ok Oliver I just ran the stairs to fast and I shouldn’t have. I’m ok.”

 

He doesn’t believe her. But she doesn’t care.

 

“Hello Felicity.”

 

Just the sound of her voice makes her want to choke her to death.

 

She doesn’t want to talk to her but she doesn’t want to look affected or bitter or even worst jealous by her presence here.

 

“Hi Sara.”

 

“Wow congratulation. I didn’t know you were pregnant.”

 

The way she said and especially the way she looked at her belly made her uneasy.

 

She shifted under her stare.

 

_What the hell?_

 

“Yeah thanks. As I just said I’ll get out of your hair.”

 

She sees Oliver try to grab her hand but she doesn’t let him and pretends she didn’t sees him. He softly calls her name but she ignores him and goes back to her room and locks the door behind her.

 

She goes straight to the bathroom, strips her clothes and gets in the shower.

 

The second the hot water hits her skins she starts to cry.

 

Why does it have to hurt so much?

 

She doesn’t want to feel like that, so fragile and weak but she can’t help it. She still hasn’t completely recovered from everything and she knows she still has a lot of insecurities about him and Sara. She doesn’t want to be that girl who loses herself in a guy, that the mere sight of them hugging makes it impossible for her to breathe. It probably was nothing, just a hug and it shouldn’t have hurt this much to see them together again.

 

She keeps shaking, not feeling her tears mixing with the water.

 

The thing Is that she’s starting to get used to him back in her life, she starting to open up to him and to see the future they can have together. 

 

She can’t get away from her insecurities that easily.

 

So she allows herself to cry. She’ll feel better after.

 

Thirty minutes later she’s laying on her bed, his pillow pressed against her, inhaling his sent.

She put some relaxing music on her baby earphone and pressed them on her belly.

 

A slight knock on her door.

 

“Felicity?”

 

God!

 

She presses her face in his pillow more.

 

She doesn’t know what to do. She knows that she doesn’t really want to see him though so she doesn’t talk.

 

He’ll think she’s asleep.

 

He tries again with more force.

 

“Felicity please.”

 

_Just go away_

 

She doesn’t answer.

 

Thinking that just a moment ago she was safe in the warmth of his embrace, not wanting to let him go, happy.

 

An hour later he tries again.

 

This time he tries to open the door and he finds it closed.

 

She hears him sigh loudly and call her name.

 

“Just open the door please.”

 

She can’t move from her spot on the bed.

 

Don't ask her why but she has the sudden need to go back to her place to pick up the maternity clothes she bought that are still back at her apartment; maybe even go for an ice cream.

 

Oh yes an ice cream!

 

She picks up her phone and presses on her speed dial contact.

 

“Hi ! … I'm good … how are you? … I know I miss you too … well I was wondering if you were free later today? … No I just need to go pick up some stuff from my place and get some fresh air you know? … Really? … great see you then!”

 

That phone call cheered her up a bit. She got up from the bed and decided take some time to get ready. 

 

An hour later she hears the water running in his bathroom so she decides to go get something to eat because boy she’s starving right now.

 

It’s probably childish to avoid him she knows that but she just doesn’t want to talk to him right now.

 

She opens her door and jumps when she sees him right in front of her.

 

_ Crap crap crap! _

 

He knew how to play.

 

“Hey Oliver! It ain’t good to the planet to waste water like that. Don’t you care about our planet?

 

Two can play that game. 

 

He looks down at her and exhale a long breath of relief.

 

He crosses his arms over his chest, sizing her up.

 

The way his eyes roamed over her entire told her that the effort and the time she took to get ready obviously paid off.

 

 

[ FELICITY'S OUTFIT ](https://fr.pinterest.com/pin/634444666227341620/)

 

So he's just gonna stare at me?

 

She was about to talk when there was a kno ck on the door.

 

_ Shit ! _

 

She grabbed her purse and walked pass him.  He grabbed her arm and stopped her.

 

“Where the hell do you think you're going?”

 

_ Excuse me? _

 

She doesn't respond to him cause she's afraid of what might get out of her mouth. She gives him a scary  ' _get your hand off me look_ _'_ and pulls her arm away from him.

 

She doesn't look back and she goes to open the door.

 

She's met by an all smily ray when she opens the door.

 

“Hey gorgeous!”

 

“Ray.”

 

She doesn't know why but she's hit with a wave of strong emotion when she sees hi face, his pure honest heartfelt smile that can light up a room; it's all so familiar and safe to her. Seeing him brings back this feeling of belonging, like they've shared so much together, hard stuff that would've driven apart any people; but they came out stronger, with a true unbreakable bond of friendship.

 

She loves Ray.  He's her best friend.

 

“You ready to go?”

 

“She's not going anywhere! What the fuck is happening here? Felicity?”

 

“You're not the boss of me ok? You the hell do you think you are telling me what I can or can't do?”

 

He took some slow predatory step towards her but she won't let herself be intimitated by him.

 

“Oliver back off she can do whatever she wants.”

 

He doesn't even acknowledge Ray and he keeps walking to her until they're toe to toe.

 

“What the fuck is happening here?”

 

The nerve of this guy!

 

“Oliver I'm just going to my place and then I have some errands to run.”

 

She sees his eyes darken with anger.

 

_ Huh ? _

 

“You tell me! I don't give a fuck what is it you need or have do to- _you tell me_ and then I'll make it happen for you.”

 

Possessiveness all over his eyes.

 

Is it normal that she was angry two seconds ago but now she's feeling slightly hot?

 

“You were seriously planing on leaving without telling me? Do you even care about your safety? If you don't care about yours do you even thing about our baby's safety?”

 

What did he just say?

 

How can he say that? Of course she's thinking about that, it's all she thinks about. 

 

Her baby girl.

 

She's too shock to reply and tears gather in her eyes.

 

“Okay that's enough here. What the hell is wrong with you.”

 

She feels Ray's arm coming over her shoulders and she supports her weight against him.

 

“You're not leaving that house without me Felicity.”

 

“Watch me.”

 

With those two words, the took her keys, grabbed Ray's hand and slammed the door.

 

_ Twenty minutes later. _

 

Felicity open her apartment door her heat heavy. She hated fighting with Oliver but did he really give her a choice? 

 

Sara comes back out of the blue and he doesn't even explain. Ok she avoided him but still. Then he goes all caveman on her, forbidding her to leave the house without him.

 

The hell?

 

It's a strange feeling getting back in her house, what used to be her safe haven. Dust all over the place.

 

“I'll just go to my bedroom to pack some clothes then we can go get that damn ice cream I can't stop thinking about.

 

Ray chuckles.

 

“Sure take your time.”

 

She opens her bedroom door and she's horrified by what she sees.

 

The room is completely trashed, everything is trashed. 

 

There's broken glass all over the floor, all the furniture is broken down, it must have taken some high level of rage to make such a mess. Nothing is salvable.

 

Everything is trashed.

 

Why?

 

Who broke into her house and did that.

 

Then her heart drops.

 

She takes a few steps to her night stand and open her top drawer.

 

She puts a hand over her mouth as a sob escapes.

 

' O h my god.”

 

She looks at her baby's sonogram pictures completely damaged.

 

One small arrow in the middle of the picture - a message in red letters at the bottom.

 

_**CAN YOU REALLY MISS SOMETHING YOU NEVER HAD?** _

 

It's happening again.

 

I can't breathe.

 

I can't speak.

 

I'm gonna fall.

 

She bangs on the door to get Ray's attention. 

 

He's at her side in a second.

 

He's here, she hears his chocked “what the hell happened?- Felicity look at me are you ok?-”

 

He looked into the drawer and saw it too.

 

He's horrified face says it all.

 

It really is real.

 

I can't breathe.

 

I can't breathe.

 

Oliver.

 

I need him.

 

Oliver.

 

Ray picks up his phone.

 

 

 

 

 

Oliver is leaning on his bike in front of Felicity's building.

It's physically impossible for him to let her go outside without him. 

 

What if something happens to her? 

 

This is all messed up. He woke up the happiest man alive, his girls in his arms; and now they fought like crazy and she left without him.

 

He wanted to explain about Sara, how she jumped in his arms so quick he couldn't even stop her. But she avoided all morning he even had to trick her so that she' d leave her room.

 

He saw it in her eyes  how  of all the effort they've made went away. It was like two steps  forward  and ten steps backwards. 

 

Fuck he never wanted that to happen.

 

He has to tell her.

 

It killed him to see all her fears and insecurities creep back to the surface. He wanted to scream that he doesn't give a fuck about Sara and that he doesn't even know why she came back today.

 

Why did she came back now?

 

His phone ringing  interrupted his thoughts.

 

Ray?

 

Why is he calling?

 

Felicity.

 

“What Ray? – WHAT? “

 

Fear sized his entire body as he han g up and ran to her apartment.

 

He only heard the words 'break in' and 'Felicity is having a panic attack.'

 

What is happening?

 

He get s in her place and follows the noise.

 

“Please Felicity you have to breathe! Open your mouth. Please breathe.”

 

He take s half a second to look around and see s the entire room trashed. She staring at her open drawer.

 

He looks inside.

 

He can't believe what he's seeing.

 

Felicity.

 

He picks her up and carries her to the living room. He puts her on the couch. He kneels in front of her

 

He take one of her hand and puts it on top of his chest.

 

“Felicity baby listen to my voice. Breath with me. Look at me.”

 

He cradles her cheek with his other hand, forcing her to look at him.

 

“In and out baby. Please breathe with me. I'm here Felicity. I'm here, feel me with you I'm right here. I'm with you.Breathe with me baby.”

 

He feels her lung fill with air.

 

“Yes you're doing great. Perfect, breathe with me. Yes Felicity. I'm right beside you and I'm not going anywhere. I'm here with you. Breathe baby breathe.”

 

Even if she was breathing she still wasn't herself, he needed to break that panic sphere she's in right now.

 

“Have you thought about a name for our baby girl?”

 

Her eyes widened and softened at the same time.

 

Yes, Come back to me.

 

“I really like Grace. I've always loved that name. I never thought that I actually would have to think about that, about choosing a name for my baby. It was a dream so far away that I never even dared to touch it with the tip of my fingers. When I was in Hong Kong I was leaving with a family, they had a little boy named Akio. He was such a good kid. On day he asked me if I had children. I said no and I don't know why but I felt so sad to say no. I realized at that moment that I might never have kids, not after everything I did. I didn't deserve such a blessing. Akio asked me how I'd want to name my kid. I responded that I never thought about it. But I lied. I had secretly thought about it. It was just a dream. It my most desired secret dream. But it was just that, a dream, but  in my dream I always pictured Grace as my child's name.”

 

Her heartbeat was slowly coming back to normal.

 

Tears are falling from her face.

 

He takes their joined hands and guides them to rest on top of her belly.

 

“What about you? I know you have a name in mind. What is it?”

 

S he hiccups a couple of times, struggling to talk.

 

“Tell me baby, what name did you think about for our baby?”

 

He feels her hand squeezing his and stroking her belly.

 

“M.. M .. Mia. Name Mia. I like Mia.”

 

He smiles, letting some of his tears fall as well.

 

God.

 

“It's a very beautiful name. I love it. Mia. I really love it. Mia.”

 

She nods  several times, crying but some tears of happiness are now mixing with the previous ones.

 

She takes long breaths.

 

“I – I love Grace too.”

 

“Really?”

 

His heart is going to come out of his chest.

 

She smiles.

 

“OK how about Mia Grace?”

 

God he loves the way it rolls on his tongue.

 

She shakes her head.

 

“No. Grace Mia Queen.”

 

She smiles through her tears.

 

His mouth drops  open . And his head fall to her chest, as she puts her arms around his head.

 

He kisses her belly, as tears fall from his face.

 

He holds close the most precious thing in his life, the two person he'll sell his soul for, the two person he'd give up everything he's ever own on a heartbeat for.

 

His Felicity and their daughter.

 

Grace Mia Queen. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ????
> 
> What did you think?  
> What do you think is going to happen?
> 
> Let me know your thoughts :)
> 
> Love you people !


	13. The fall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> People !!! It's been ages so let's hope some of you are still on board.
> 
> I was really discouraged but I love this story too much too let it go.
> 
> Hope you enjoy :)

Oliver and Felicity walked back home hand in hand, her head on his shoulder.

 

Ray entered behind them and closed the door.

 

She hasn’t said a word yet. She’s been dead silent since they left her apartment which incredibly bothers Oliver and he’s walking on the tip of his toes around her.

 

He drove Ray’s car on the way back home. She kept her face turned to the window the whole ride, her hands constantly rubbing her belly.

 

His mind is going crazy, racing with thoughts and listing all the things he has to do. He wishes he could just go already and take care of things but she comes first.

 

She’ll always come first.

 

Right now she needs him. She might not say it but he knows she needs him just as much as he needs her right now.

 

Her silence is so loud.

 

Her silence speaks thousands of words. Words she’s afraid to say out loud.

 

 Because it makes everything real.

 

He walks her to the couch and she drops her purse, letting it fall to the ground.

 

Its content spills all over the floor. She mechanically bent over to pick it up but he stopped her.

 

“Hey, leave it, it’s ok.”

 

She looks up at him and just nods.

 

He doesn’t know what to do, what to say to her, it’s like her eyes are empty, devoided of any kind of emotion.

 

That scares the shit out of him.

 

He needs to do something to bring her back to him.

 

Ray kneels in front of her, his hands on her knees.

 

“You haven’t eaten anything, I’m going to go to the bakery downstairs and pick up your favourites ok?”

 

“I’m not hungry.”

 

It’s the first words she spoke and they were directed at Ray. He tries to not feel like shit.

 

 He fails miserably.

 

“Felicity you have to eat something or you’ll pass out and I really don’t want you to pass out.”

 

He cradles her cheek and a wave of possessiveness attacks Oliver.

_Get your fucking hand off of her._

 

He clears his throat. Loud.

 

Ray drops his hand but glares at him while doing it.

 

Thea and Roy barge in the loft.

 

She runs to him and her scared eyes searches his, her hands on his arms shaking him a bit out of his thoughts.

 

“Oh my god what happened? Is she OK? What the hell happened? Ray only told me a few things over the phone, I didn’t quite understand.”

 

He doesn’t look at Thea, he looks at Felicity.

 

She looks so small and fragile.

 

He can’t take it anymore.

 

“Just give me a second Thea.”

 

He takes the few steps separating him from Felicity.

 

He holds his hand in front of her.

 

“Come with me.”

 

She looks up at him, her eyes still empty.

 

She just takes his hand and he helps her standing up, cause she’s struggling a bit to get up on her own now.

 

Something in the back of his head pops up, it’s something she said to him a few weeks back.

_“You're beautiful. It's not even fair how well pregnancy suits you.”_

_She blushed and he saw that blush spreading to her chest, close to her full breasts._

_She nodded with teary eyes._

_“Thank you, remind me of that when I won't be able to get up by myself ok?”_

 

This flashback of that moment warms his heart. It feels like this moment was forever ago.

 

He puts her under his arm and he walks with her to their bedroom.

 

That’s how he thinks of it now; _their bedroom._

 

 

He closes the door behind them.

 

Still silent and not looking at him, she mechanically walks around the room and removes her clothes and her jewellery.

 

Amazed, He watches her every move.

 

In only a matching set of nude thin thong and strapless bra she walks to stand in front of the big mirror.

 

 He’s stunned.

 

She makes his heart beat like crazy. How can she make him lose his ability to speak so easily?

 

He walks to her and positions himself behind her; watching her watching herself.

 

“I always complain about how big I’m getting, about how I don’t fit in my clothes anymore, about all of the things I can no longer do by myself now; but I secretly love it. I love watching my body change and getting bigger each day. I love waking up every morning, exited to see if my belly got bigger during the night. I love seeing my body changing and my belly getting bigger because it means that she’s safe in there and that every pound I’m gaining makes it closer to the moment I’ll finally be able to hold her in my arms.”

 

She puts both of her tiny hands on her belly.

 

He’s fucking stunned.

 

She speaks with so much love and adoration.

 

It’s in those kinds of moments that he feels overwhelmed with love for her, it’s in those moments when she seems vulnerable that the deep feeling of protectiveness rises up to the mountains in his chest, it’s in those kind of moments that he secretly vows to cherish her and protect her to his last dying breath.

 

He brings himself closer to her and presses his entire body against hers, needing to feels her and the fact that she’s actually standing in her underwear only adds to the dimension of ‘feeling her’; he puts his head on her shoulder, snuggling it in the crook of her neck, his arms come around her waist, holding her tight, while his hands rest on top of hers on her belly.

 

She looks at him through the mirror.

 

“I’m already so terribly in love with her.”

 

He wants to cry at the vulnerability she expresses.

 

A lone tears fall on her cheek and it was just too much for him.

 

He needs her to know.

 

He gently turns her so that she’s facing him.

 

“Felicity.”

 

She looks up at him and more tears fall. He sees it all now, she allows him now to see the extend of her emotions and how deeply shaken up and terrified she actually is. It’s only now, in the safety of his warm embrace that she let her walls fall and lets him in.

 

“Oliver I’m so scared.”

 

He engulfs her into his arms and gently rocks her.

 

He picks her up and he walks to the bed and gently puts her on it. He kneels in front of her.

 

“I’m scared too”.

 

She looks at him as if he spoke Chinese.

 

“Most people think I’m fearless and there might be some truth in that, but right now I’m terrified Felicity.  I thought I knew what being scared felt like, but it’s only now that I _know_ what it feels like.”

 

“Yeah l know the feeling…”

 

“The thing is that this fear now is my greatest strength. I don’t know what’s happening, who’s behind all of that and why but I do know one thing. I’m going to end this. And I’m never going to let anything happened to the both you.”

 

She closes her eyes as a sob escapes her mouth.

 

“You have to believe me Felicity when I say that there isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for the two of you. I’ll never ever let anything happened to you. You have to believe that no matter what I’ll always come for you. “

 

She nods and puts her hand on his neck.

 

“I’m not going to live in denial and I’m always going to be honest with you, and right now someone is coming for your life and I won’t stand by and do nothing. There a threat and I’m going to find it and eliminate it.”

 

She opens her mouth to speak but he cuts her off.

 

“I’ll be careful baby. I know what I’m fighting for. I’m fighting for you and for our daughter. I’ll always fight to my very last breath to come back home to you.”

 

She sniffles and fuck can she stop being adorable even under the worst circumstance?

 

“Oliver…”

 

“I love you Felicity and I love our daughter.”

 

She bites her lower lip and he wants nothing more than to take it into his mouth. He knows she has the same thought because her eyes drift to his own lips.

 

Before he does so he needs to completely clear the air about something else.

 

“Felicity we need to talk about Sara.”

 

She stiffens and takes her hand away from his neck.

 

_Shit._

He grabs her hand and holds it in his.

 

“Don’t. Don’t push me away and don’t shut me out.”

 

“Why is she here?”

 

“I swear to you I don’t know. This morning I opened the door and she just jumped on me. I didn’t even have the time to blink that she had her arms around me and then a second later I felt you.”

 

“What do you mean you felt me?”

 

“I always feel you. I always know when you’re near me even before I see you. I can’t explain it. It’s like my body reacts to your presence on its own.

 

He wants to kiss away the funnily shocked expression on her face.

 

“ Huh ? What? H – How?”

 

“I don’t know. My heart just skips a beat and then there’s just this feeling and I just know _she’s here_. It’s something I can’t explain and that only happens with you. It has only happen when with you. It’s always just you Felicity.”

 

“Oh”

 

Her mouth drops into that perfect “o” shape.

 

He loves renting her speechless.

 

“I haven’t seen Sara or heard from her in months. I was just as confused and shocked as you were I promise.”

 

She looks into him. Most people would shy away in front of such and intense stare but he doesn’t. He gladly lets her see inside of him.

 

“You know that there’s only one person for me.”

 

“Who is it?”

 

He chuckle.

 

“You just you.”

 

She pulls him to her and their lips meet.

 

They both sigh into the kiss.

 

Felicity puts her tiny hands around his face and he can’t help but groan when he feels the heat of her skin on his.

 

He nips at her lower lip, begging for entrance and he deepens the kiss when she opens her mouth to welcome his tongue.

 

She moans and fuck if that doesn’t send a rush of desire through the southern part of his body.

 

It amazes him how they can turn a simple chaste reassuring kiss into something so passionate and hot in the matter of two seconds.

 

He can’t get enough of her sinful lips, of her taste; of her sent… it’s like a drug.

_Fuck!_

 

He puts his left hand to her side to bring her closer.

 

He froze.

_Is that …?_

 

He separates their lips and he looks at her with wide eyes…

 

He looks back and forth between his hand on her belly and Felicity.

 

He’s momentarily shocked.

 

A soft loving smile appears on her face and she strokes his cheek.

 

“She always knows when you’re around.”

 

He can’t even speak.

 

She laughs and takes his hand, guiding it more precisely on her belly.

 

He wasn’t dreaming.

 

He feels it more firmly now.

 

She’s kicking.

 

Their daughter is kicking and god she has strong kicks.

 

Words can’t describe that feeling.

 

“The second you get near me or in the same room she starts her baby parkour in there.”

 

_Oh My God._

 

He closes his eyes and he just fully enjoys the moment, well aware that his eyes are full of tears.

 

He’s just so happy and so grateful.

 

It’s his daughter in there, kicking hard, letting him know she’s safe in here.

 

Felicity moves in hand around her belly, following their daughter’s kick.

 

Felicity yelps and laughs after a particularly strong kick.

 

He looks at her with teary eyes and hopes to god that he can convey with his eyes what his mouth can’t say.

 

She stroked her thumb across his cheek, her own eyes feeling with tears.

 

“She loves her daddy’s voice.”

 

That simple statement combined with the way she said it knocked the crap out of him.

 

Right at this second she unlocked one of the deepest parts of his soul and set it free. She healed a part of him that he thought was forever damaged and broken.

 

He already knew that she was the one for him, that he’ll never be able to have any kind of romantic feelings towards anybody else but he feels that this particular moment changed things for him.

 

He now feels worthy of her love.

 

Right at this second, looking at her big crystal glassy blue eyes and feeling his daughter kicking under his hand, he decided to finally forgive himself and let go of this guilt that was killing him from the inside.

 

“She does?”

 

“Oh yeah trust me she does love your voice. She’s really calm and then the second you speak she like jumps around in here. She does her baby parkour and well it’s pretty obvious she gets that from you.”

 

Felicity laughs and he laughs with her, the moment is so light and just simple and happy.

 

It’s overwhelming and just the thought of losing that, of losing them is unbearable.

 

His forehead against her he keeps nodding and then he kisses her nose.  

 

“We’re gonna be ok Oliver.”

 

How does she do that? She always knows what he’s thinking. Well he always knows what she’s

thinking so it’s only fair.

 

“Felicity .. I … I can’t lose you. I’m touching with the tip of my finger something I never even dared to imagine I could one day have and I – I want this so bad , you , her our own family .. I just can’t lose you.”

 

She kisses the corner of his mouth, not touching his lips and it somehow made this kiss even sweeter and made his heart beat like crazy..

 

“We’re not going anywhere Oliver. Our little Gracie and I are right there; and just like her mommy she’ll take her strength from her daddy.”

 

Tears are stuck in his throat.

 

How can she say that? She’s the strongest one, he takes his strength from her, not the other way around.

 

He loves that woman so much.

 

“I love you so much Felicity.”

 

He sees how his words go to her heart.

 

With the way she looks at him, she basically screams ‘I love you’. He knows deep in his heart that she loves him too; she’s just not ready to say the words; and that really isn’t a problem, he‘ll wait for her to be ready.

 

 He’ll always wait for her.

 

 

                                                                                                                                                          * * * * * *

_A few hours later_

 

 

Felicity feels rested but her mind is going crazy.

 

She desperately wants to go to the foundry and do something but at the same time she’s terrified by the prospect of leaving the house.

 

She goes to the living room and finds Thea and Ray quietly chatting.

 

She loves these two.

 

“Hey you guys.”

 

Thea smiles big at her and indicates for her to sit next to her.

 

“Hey sexy mama!”

 

Ray kisses her head.

 

“How are you doing?”

 

She sighs because she can’t really find an answer to that question so she goes for the generic answer.

 

“I’m okay, I’m trying to keep a positive mind.”

 

She smile and it’s genuine despite the circumstances.

 

“What were you guys talking about?”

 

Thea is the one who immediately answers.

 

“You and Ollie.”

 

Ray coughs hard.

 

“What? It’s true ! We were, like everybody else, wondering when will you two finally be together. Because come on it’s obvious you are crazy about each other so I’m just wondering why you aren’t taking that leap.”

 

“Thea…”

 

Her first instinct is to dodge the questions and change the subject but she realizes that she might actually need to talk to someone and get some insight about their situation.

 

Ray gives Thea a hard look.

 

“Thea leave her alone, she has enough on her plate.”

 

“No she’s right Ray. And in all honesty I don’t have a real explanation as to why we aren’t together but fear. I’m just scared Thea.”

 

She needs to talk, to let some of her emotions out.

 

“Of course you’re scared honey but imagine just putting that fear aside and taking that leap and actually be with him. How does that feel?”

 

She imagines that and ….

 

“It feels good... so good.”

 

“Then there’s your reason. Life is way too short Felicity and I know that Ollie screwed up big times, but you guys are in love with each other, you guys are having a baby together, you have to take Some risks and stop being scared.”

 

She looks at Thea and she knows she’s speaking the truth it’s just different to hear it from somebody else.

 

“And what do you think Ray?”

 

It’s funny how she asks her ex-boyfriend advice on her potential boyfriend/baby daddy; but it’s not weird. Her and Ray know where they stand and they have a profound and deep affection for each other.

 

“Look Felicity you know I just want your happiness and I for one think that you can find it with Oliver. I’m not gonna lie I still have a hard time with what he did to you but no man can deny that this man is head over hills in love with you and that he’ll do anything to protect you. And that's all I care about.”

 

Ray’s word pierce through her heart and she can’t help but feel her throat tighten with emotion.

 

“I’ll always _always_ care about you Felicity. You’re a big woman and you can make your own decisions and you don’t need anybody for that, but I also know that you tend to let your rational side take the decisions and I really think that you should let your heart speak on this one.”

 

God why does she want to cry right now?

 

Can she really do it? Close her eyes, Jump and just see where she lands? She’s always been so rational and logical in every decision she’s taken before, I mean come on she’s a genius so that’s only fair.

 

“Thank you guys for your advices, I really appreciate it.”

 

Thea hugs her side and cradles her belly.

 

“I can’t wait to see her, my lil’ niece is gonna be so fucking spoiled you don’t even know.”

 

Felicity laughs and hugs Thea back.

 

“Oh T.Queen I think I know that!”

 

“Hey T.Queen, could you bring me some ice cream please.”

 

“Is it for you or for the baby?”

 

“Of course it’s for the baby…! She needs it!!”

 

Thea laughs and gets up.

 

Ray takes her place and Felicity naturally goes to him while he puts his arm around her.

 

She sighs and puts her head on his shoulder.

 

“Everything is going to be fine Felicity and you know I agree with Thea. It hurts my ego to say it but he’ll make you happy so just be with him ok? Put that big brain of yours on pause and just follow your heart.”

 

He puts a hand on her belly and kisses the top of her head.

 

A flash blinds them.

 

They turn their head to look at a smiling Thea.

 

“Ughhhh I wish I was best friend with my ex. You guys are the too cute.”

 

“Yes we are.” They claimed at the same time.

 

“Hey Felicity I wanted to ask you something. We have this huge contract deal coming and we’re a step away from the signature. The CEO of the company insists on your attendance during the gala he’s having next week.”

 

“OH…”

 

Well she didn’t see this one coming. Can she go?

 

“I know it really is the worst timing with everything that’s happening and I need to talk to Oliver and John and see if it’s possible but you know Felicity that never would’ve asked you if it wasn’t necessary. He won’t budge; he wants the VP to be there. We have to show a united front and I’m afraid that if you do not come he won’t sign the deal. And FYI we’re talking about a deal with over six zeros on it.”

 

“Ollie is gonna freak !”

 

She looks at Thea.

 

“Ok Ray we’ll talk about it with Oliver and Dig and then we’ll see.”

 

 

 

 

                                                            **********

                                                         _Somewhere in Starling City_

 

 

“What are we waiting for? TELL ME !!!!!”

 

“Patience patience Sara… Good things come to those who wait.”

 

“But he’s still with her and he needs to be with me. You didn’t see how he looked at her!! It’s like he actually cares about her and I know it’s all an act cause he loves me. Me! Ollie and I are meant to be. We have to get rid of her.”

 

“We have a plan and we’re going to stick to it. Palmer will bring her.”

 

“But what if she doesn’t show up?” Did you think about that?”

 

“She’ll come Sara no worries. Now you shut that big mouth of yours and leave me alone. I’ll call you when the time comes.”

 

Sara sighs and crosses her arms.

 

“Listen to me carefully Sara.”

 

The venom and the deadly threat in his voice are rather insane.

 

Sara nods her eyes on the ground.

 

“Do not EVER cross me again. When I tell you to not approach Queen or his apartment you listen. You disobey once more and I’ll enjoy watching the life living your body as I slice your throat open. Have I made myself clear?”

 

Sara responds with a fear loaded voice.

 

“Yes you have.”

 

                                                                                                                              ********

 

Oliver and Dig are driving back from Argus to the loft.

 

He’s been gone for a few hours and he’s going to go freak if he doesn’t see them now.

 

_Them._

The fact that he no longer refers to Felicity as just her is crazy and well it’s the truth. There are two of them now.

 

Felicity and their daughter.

 

_Fuck !_

 

He doesn’t know if the butterflies in his stomach and that feeling of pure and true euphoria, giddiness, excitement and profound adoration will ever go away.

 

It killed him earlier to see her so vulnerable and lost but he’ll always be there to guide her and to reassure her.

 

He felt their daughter kick and he’s still in owe. All the feels … it’s crazy.

 

He sighs loudly, gripping the wheel tighter.

 

“Hey Olivier, stop beating yourself up ok? We’re doing everything we can and god knows that we won’t let anything happen to them. Argus owes you big times and they’re putting every resource they have for us and they’re having a 24 hours surveillance on Felicity.”

 

“I know Dig but you know damn well I’m not gonna be ok until we end whatever this is.”

 

Their phone biped at the same time and they both looked at it to find a picture that Thea sent on their group chat.

 

His stomach dropped.

 

Ray and Felicity.

 

 To anybody else they could look like the perfect couple, the smile on their faces, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her, their joined hand on her belly…

 

He had to look away, it was too hard. It feels like someone is holding his heart and crushing it. His chest tightens, it’s heavy and it literally hurts.

 

He has to take a deep cause he realized he stopped breathing.

_Why does it hurt so much?_

 

Is that what Felicity felt when she saw him with Sara? Was it worst?

 

He doesn’t know how to deal with these emotions it’s too much.

 

Why can't it be simple?

 

“Oliver man Slow down! Do you want to get us killed?”

 

Dig’s voice brings him back to the present and he realizes he’s been speeding up uncautiously.

 

“Sorry … sorry.”

 

What is he sorry for? He keeps apologizing over and over that he's scared it's losing its meaning.

 

“Pull over Oliver.”

 

The second the car stops he smashes the wheel over and over until his knuckles hurt.

 

Breathing heavily, he feels torn and confused and he silently begs the universe to let him be, to make him let go of his torturous thoughts.

 

It's supposed to be him with her, it's suppose to be his arms holding her, his hands carressing her, his lips whispering toi her ears.

 

“You know there’s nothing between them Oliver besides deep affection”

 

He scoffs

 

“Yeah they look like the perfect bff’s here.”

 

“Granted they have history and I think that they’ll always care deeply for each other but trust me there’s no romantic feelings or whatsoever anymore. They got together for the wrong reasons back then. They both were in pain and lonely and they needed each other but trust me they mostly hid behind each other in order to avoid their own issue. Granted he did her right and he always treated her like a princess. They just get each other you know with their techy things and stuff but trust me there's nothing more then deep friendship."

 

He thinks about Dig’s words… Are they really over? Would they still be together if there was no baby?

 

He believes in her and he now believes in them and he can't let his mind play him. He needs to fight this beast Inside of him that constantly sells hims darks thoughts and pessimism.

 

It’s still unbelievable to him but yet here they are, on their way to finding each other and having a baby at the same time. He can't let this destroy all the work they've done so far to find their way back to each other.

 

 

                                                                                                                                _That night_

_***************_

 

They lay in bed, facing each other, her legs tangled with his, his hand drawing on her belly.

 

They have been like that for the past hour, just the two of them, talking and laughing about random things.

 

Oliver runs his fingertips along her bare bump and that’s something she still can’t get enough off.

 

“Sometimes I have to close my eyes and pinch myself to remind me that all of this is true. That you’re pregnant. That we get to bring our baby into this world.”

 

“Yeah I know. Trust me it’s still hard for me too to believe it sometimes.”

 

They are both whispering, almost afraid that if they would speak louder it would break their little cocoon. It was soft and intimate. It was like sharing a secret love confession.

 

“I’m really happy you came back and that you get to see all of it.”

 

She really is happy he’s here with her. Those few first months without him were horrible and she knows it was because she missed him so bad.

 

“So am I baby. I can’t put into words what it means for me to be here with you.”

 

She saw something in his expression change, he suddenly was a bit stiff and there was that look in his eyes.

 

What can he be thinking about?

 

But as usual she didn’t push him (even if it was haaaard for her) and she gave him the time to gather his thoughts.

 

The silence between them was never awkward, it was always peaceful.

 

After about five minutes he lightly cleared his throat and then put his hand on her neck.

 

Ok here it goes Queen say it!

 

She’d lie if she’d say she didn’t dread was he was about to say.

 

“The first days I came back I talked to Ray and Dig a little too, or let’s say they yelled and I listened.”

 

_Okaaaay …_

 

“Some of the things Ray told me I can’t stop thinking about.”

 

“What did he tell you?”

 

_Oh boy …_

 

He ran his hand over her face, tracing her features with the tip of his fingers.

 

She couldn’t help but close her eyes and sight into his touch.

 

“He told me that at the very beginning of your pregnancy and for the first few months, you weren’t doing fine, that you were actually really bad… that .. hum … you kept crying and not eating.. that he … he took you to the hospital when you got in too deep.”

 

Her breath caught in her throat.

 

“Oliver …”

 

He took a deep breath and the tortured expression on his face broke her heart.

 

“He said that it was because of me, that it was my entire fault. Is it true? Why were you like that?

 

She never told him but she heard what Ray told him that night in the hospital when she was attacked. The harshness of his words brought tears to her eyes but she couldn’t deny the truth behind them. At the time it warmed her heart to listen to Ray standing up for her.

 

_ A month ago _

_“What the fuck are you doing here? Why coming back? What the fuck do you want from her?_

_Don’t you think that you’ve hurt her enough?”_

_Ok he was not expecting such a violent reaction from Ray. Not that he doesn’t deserve it but it_

_should not come from Ray._

_“Look Ray I don’t know what happened these last month but I have nothing to explain to you._

_Nothing. I’m here for her, and her only.”_

_Ray laughs out loud._

_The Fuck?_

_“You here for her? Where the fuck were you the last 5 months when she needed you the most?_

_Where the fuck where you when she spend every morning throwing her guts up? Where were you when I was holding her hair and rubbing her back? Where the fuck where you when she spend all her days locked up in her bedroom crying herself to sleep refusing to go out? Where the fuck where you when she would not eat a thing and it got to a point where I had to carry her to the ER? Where the fuck where you when she woke up every night from nightmares crying your name? Where the fuck were you when I found her crying on the ground because her back was killing her and she couldn’t even stand up and walk? WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?”_

_Oliver was shocked._

_He took a step backwards at Ray’s outburst._

_“She’s been through hell the last months, she is finally in a happy place right now, she is happy_

_about her baby don’t screw things up.”_

Felicity took a deep breath and gathered her emotions.

 

He needed answers and she was willing to give them to him.

 

“I don’t really like to talk about that time; I actually never talked about it, not even with Keira or Thea. It’s hard for me to talk about that time because it was probably one of the hardest moment in my life.”

 

She took another shaky breath and he encouraged her by squeezing her arms and kissing her knuckles.

 

“Do you remember that morning when you came to my house and you saw Ray? It was the morning after..”

 

It’s still hard for her to say those words.

 

“It was the morning after I was with Sara yes I remember. I remember knocking on your door and Ray opening it shirtless.”

 

Even in the dim light she saw him grinned his teeth.

 

“That was the first time I met Ray and he came to offer me a job as his VP.”

 

She saw him connect the dots in his mind and she lightly smiled.

 

“What do you mean the first time you met Ray? You guys didn’t … I mean you never .. you weren’t…”

 

She laughs at his babbles.

 

“No Oliver, when you came that morning and he was shirtless it’s because I spilled a coffee on his shirt and no we weren’t fooling around or what so ever. I’m sooo no that girl who sleep in a heartbeat.”

 

“Oh okay ..”

 

He really seems relieved.

 

“Anyway he offered me that job and the morning after the gala, right after you showed up at my house, I called him and accepted his job offer. When I found that you left and I didn’t want deal with what it meant for me, so I buried myself into work; putting up with exhausting hours, forgetting to eat or to just loosen up. But I couldn’t afford that because the second my mind wasn’t focused on something I would think about you and I didn’t want that. So I ended up spending all my time working with Ray and it took time but he slowly put a smile on my face”.

 

She takes another breath. It was hard for her to share this with him but she knows it matters for him.

 

“When I found out that the baby was yours I was devastated…I was so heart broken and sad for you, for all the things that you had been through and for all the things that you had to let go off. I already missed you so much and knowing that there was a piece of you growing inside of me only made me miss you more, it killed me. It wasn't even about me or us it was about you, about your hapiness and findint your path to it. I couldn’t even get up, I’d spend all my time crying in bed, just wishing that you were right next to me and hoping that you were ok and that you had someone to put a smile on your face. I dreamt about that smile, that smile you only give me.”

 

She traces the outline of his mouth with her fingers.

 

“I always wanted to sleep because I always wanted to dream, to close my eyes and imagine this perfect world where we’d be happy the three of us. But most of the time it was nightmares; of you suffering, of one of your enemy hurting you or our baby. It got really bad and I couldn’t sleep or eat. Adding that to the fact that I had a very hard first trimester, terrible back ache and I couldn’t eat a thing without throwing up.”

 

She saw him close his eye in pain.

 

“So yes you could say that it was a hard time but I eventually, with help, got better. The day my belly popped is the day I truly realized I was pregnant and I decided to get my shit together.”

 

She felt a tear run down her cheek.

 

“I was all she had and I needed to get better for my baby. She needed me.”

 

Oliver wipes her tears and then kisses her belly.

 

 He lingers on her belly, whispering words she didn’t understand, Russian probably.

 

It was so sexy to hear him speak in Russian.

 

“Daddy’s here Gracie. Forever and Always.”

 

The sob that escaped her took her off guard. Hearing him say those words pierced through her heart. She never thought she’d hear him say that.

 

She didn’t know how much she needed to hear him say those words.

 

She loves that man so much.

 

The past few weeks have been rough for her and it’s hard not to realize that’s he’s been his rock through it all. No matter what happens she knows that he’ll always be there for her. 

 

It’s still crazy for her to be around _This_ Oliver; he’s so honest about his feelings and he makes her feel so loved cherished and protected. She feels like she might always need this Oliver and in all honesty that thought doesn’t scare her like it would have a couple of weeks ago.

 

She’s ready to admit to herself that Yes she loves him and she wants to be with him. He proved her in so many ways that she’s his everything and she needs to let that pride go away and admit to him that she’s completely forgiven him.

 

She gently puts her hand on his cheeks, running her thumb across his face, adoring the ways her only touch seems to soothe him. He closes his eyes and smiles.

 

She loves that man so much it’s not even human.

 

She knows that now is her window.

 

She needs to tell him what’s been on her mind and heart for the past few weeks.

 

It’s now or never.

 

She takes a minute to gather her courage to ask him what’s been torturing her mind ever since he came back.

 

It’s funny how she feels determined yet her voice comes out like a whisper.

 

“Did you really mean what you told me?”

 

He looks at her and she sees that he tries to understand what she’s referring to.

 

“That night? When you came back?”

 

She sees the exact second he understands what moment she’s talking about.

 

She sees determination, pure genuine openness and honesty in his eyes.

 

“I meant every single word.”

 

She closes her eyes and let that sink in. She takes a deep breath and thinks hard about that moment, about what she felt when he told her that.

 

She remembers it all with a choking clarity.

 

_ 5 weeks ago  _

 

_"No I don't want to be friends with you. What I want is YOU, I want to marry you, I want you to_

_become my wife. I want to fall asleep every night with you and our baby girl safe in my arms and_

_wake up to your warm embraces. I want 3 am baby feedings, I want first day at school, I want the laughs, the cries, the fights, the memories, and the unconditional love that comes with building a family together, I want the whole damn thing. I want it so bad it hurts. From the second I saw your bare belly in the ambulance, it opened up a door in me that I thought I closed the day I got back home from the island. It made me want, hope, long. When you told me I was the father the swell of protectiveness that rose deep in my bones completely threw me off guard but I know why. During this mesmerizing beautiful perfect night we shared we created a baby, our baby, a part of me mixed with a part of you and I want this Felicity, I want to be a part of my kids life, I want to be involved in every single aspect imaginable in her life. I want to be involved in your pregnancy,I want to go to the doctor’s appointments, I want to know what your craving, how you're feeling, how you picture her room, what name you're thinking about. I want it all. You're her mother and I'm her father. I'm not going anywhere Felicity and you have every right to not believe me and there nothing I can do about that only time will prove you how sincere I am. We still have thousands of things to talk about and to figure out but we have all our time. I know things between us won't change like that and I don't expect you to believe me and agree with me, but I'm gonna fight till my last dying breath to get you to fall back in love with me. I'm gonna fight for my family Felicity, for you and our baby girl.”_

 She's shaken up from the memory of that night when she feels Oliver’s hand on her cheek.

 

“Felicity look at me. You know deep in your heart that I meant every single word I spoke. I’m so terribly in love with you and with our baby and I for one can’t wait to have it all with you. ”

 

He’s whispering yet there’s not a single doubt in his voice.

 

This voice he uses just for her melts her heart.

 

“I came back home from the island two years ago but it felt like I was still on that island. Yes phisically  I came back and I was here but deep down I was still a prisoner in that hell.”

 

He takes a breath to compose himself.

 

“When I came back I felt so lonely. The funny thing was that I was never alone but I felt so lonely. I was never really home. Until you came along. That night we had is the night I came back home. You brought me home and I’ll never get to thank you enough for that.”

 

She looks up and blinks to let the tears which blurred her vision fall. his words are really touching her,and it's the best kind of declaration she's ever gotten.

 

He wipes them with his thumb and then kissed them away. This simple gesture means so much more and they both know it.

 

He’ll always be there to wipe her tears away and to support her.

 

She looks into his eyes and she just knows.

 

That’s the moment.

 

This is it for them.

 

“I love you Oliver.”

 

She can’t find words to describe the expression on his face.

 

His mouth is slightly open and his looks like he’s not breathing.

 

“You know that right? Tell me you know how much I love and how much you deserve this, you deserve us. Tell me you know I love you.”

 

“Say it again.”

 

_FUCK !!!_

 

His voice got so intense, so raspy, so deep, so demanding and so sexy.

 

“I Love you Oliver.”

 

He grabs her face in his hands and his eyes are fully black with just a hint of the familiar blue.

 

“Say it again”

 

The way he speaks is turning her soooo on, like she can already feel the heat between her thighs. Dominant, harsh, savage, controlling Oliver is one of her all time fantasy and she longs for the moment he'll just let go and let his deep beast side take over and see this side of him without pretend and holding back.

 

Panting and she bit her lip slowly ans sensually, she lightly touched her lips to his ear and with a sinful sexy voice she said the words again.

 

“I love y-“

 

His pinned her down and His lips on hers cut her off.

 

He kisses her with so much urgency; he’s not being soft or carful. It’s his deepest need that took control over. He’s like a thirsty beast finally getting to have his prey.

 

She moans when he presses his body harder against her and he takes the opportunity to tangle his tongue with hers.

 

He rolls on top of her, careful of her bump, and fuck it feels so good.

 

He kisses her neck with so much hunger she has trouble to breathe.

 

Her senses are so decupled. Every touch, every kiss is setting her skin on fire.

 

He presses their lowers halves of their body while going down on her breast and she sees the beginning of stars.

 

“Oh fuck Oliver!”

 

“I love you so much baby!”

 

She forces herself to takes his head in her hands and brings it to her.

 

They are both panting so hard, breathing each other’s air.

 

She looks deep into his eyes and she almost gets lost in the amount of love she sees there.

 

She presses her lips to his in a simple chaste kiss.

 

“I love you so much Oliver. You have no idea how terribly in love with you I am”.

 

She sees tears welling up in his eyes.

 

“Let’s do this Oliver, you, me and our baby girl. We can do this I know we can.”

 

She’s completely trusting him with her heart and with their life.

 

There’s no doubt.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So ?
> 
> Let me know your thoughts ;)


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